I have to sleep train for all of our sakes....hand hold and advice?

[trimbler]

Oh (((hugs))) and thanks zissi

Looks like he may have a bit of an upset tummy, if the twins do too - otherwise I'd have thought teething, if it smells. Either way, he won't be getting too much milk, actually bf (not fb, as it keeps being autocorrected to, lol!) will be the best thing to settle his tummy, and if you think he's getting diarrhoea, don't worry about feeding too often until that settles down as he'll need the hydration.

That's hard about DH, but I understand what you're saying. If you're not sure that cutting down night feeds by settling in other ways would be right for you all as a family, then try Pantley's gentle removal plan, which I posted above. No experience personally, but it may be right for you, and if you'd like some btdt to hold your hand, I'll ask around

Naps look pretty good really, but as I said before if you can get him to bed a little earlier it may help him to catch up - I realise that it doesn't help when you try for a CN but he doesn't take it

[4isstillnighttime]

Thank you all. I just went with it last night, and as a result we are all quite well rested!! it is hard with DH....but he is perfect in every other respect and really understanding of my need to do it, even though he gets even more upset by baby crying than me!

I'll look at that gentle withdrawal, thank you! I don't know why I am fining this so hard - I think it's because he cries so rarely that it seems particula unfair making him unhappy at night! What I will try and do then is the pull out thing (and I would love some advice if there is anyone around, that looks almost impossible!!) then when his little tummy is better and u can be sure he isn't hungry or thirsty, try again with trying to space out the feeds. And make them shorter so he feeds more in the day.

Does that sound reasonable? And is it ok to still keep posting here? I find sleep training very lonely and it's lovely to have somewhere to offload about it! I just feel so unfair talking about it to DH, who is very polite but is no doubt thinking "I don't see where the problem is"

[trimbler]

Yes of course keep posting, we're here for you I'll ask around re Pantley experience...

[4isstillnighttime]

I did try it with the twins but it was awful! Just made them a bit more edgy around feeds! But this baby is a totally different personality so I think it's a good idea to give it a go. If I can stop him feeding to sleep at night then I can address reducing the feeds once that's done.

I'm in 2 minds about the dummy. I can see the advantage of getting rid of it....but I am going back to work soon and I love that he has that bit of comfort that anyone can give him, not just me.

A bit tearful now. I don't want to leave my precious baby for stupid work!! But that's another thread!

[michaeljacknnugg]

You poor thing, so much going on at once! Definitely keep posting, we can hold your hand even if we have no advice.

Hope tonight is better for you!

[4isstillnighttime]

It is just too much, you know? I know none of them are massive problems....but still!

We had a very different day today - short first A (2h) with UT 45 min nap, then 3:15 A with an OT nap and a long resettle at 30 mins, then a 15 min CN in the way to nursery. And I did the gentle removal to the letter - he is holding my hand, but he went to sleep with nothing in his mouth.

Oh, wish me luck. I found an old text I'd sent to a friend when he was about 3 months old complaining because he was up at 1 and 3.....I would kill for that now!!

[zissi]

hugs for you! Its tough but you have to remember it will pass, too. could you introduce a soft toy or something? we did that when my first child was around 6 months in preparation for childcare to which she went when she was 10 months old. it worked really well and her little bunny is still going everywhere with her. I must actually do the same with my second daughter now who is 7 months...

[trimbler]

Well done on getting him to sleep without feeding let's remember to celebrate every bit of progress we see, to encourage you through the setbacks

[4isstillnighttime]

Yes, I'm all for celebrating each bit of progress!!! Mixed night last night - woke for a feed at 11:45 and given the amount he is pooing I went with it (sorry, that's gross) as I am worried about his fluid intake (still not great with the sippy cup). Perhaps inevitably I fell asleep feeding him, woke up at 3 all hunched over with a sore neck, fed him again, and fell asleep again. Woke again at 4 and (finally) put him back to bed; he then woke at 5 but (this is the good bit!) settled without a feed and slept til 6!! He looks fantastic, really well rested! Wasn't sure what to do about naps today but he didn't even yawn once til 9:30, so I popped him straight to bed and he fell asleep with his dummy but just holding my hand, no patting or any thing. So I was very pleased and am having some coffee and some chocolate coins I found in the twins nursery bags (it's for their own good, they eat too much sugar!!).

Fingers crossed for a good nap. I am really thinking that if I could get his schedule a bit better we would definitely see improvement overnight. I would really like today to either get him down early or get a CN - think I will try for CN on the way to nursery and if it doesn't work out, put the twins in front of the TV and put him to bed as soon as we get home.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Oh that's fabulous!!

Can you get some more liquid into him in food, somehow? Just wondering. I know you're doing blw but if he could have something sloppy then it might negate the need for him to drink.

[trimbler]

Yay that sounds like a great night - for him, not so comfortable for you though Two feeds is pretty normal at this age, I think you're right that once the day settles down the nights may well improve, especially once you manage to wean the f2s, difficult if you're so tired that you're feeding yourself to sleep as well as him Enjoy your rest and your well-earned chocolate Will be interesting to see how he does after that long A...

[4isstillnighttime]

He did 1h15 nap....tried to resettle as he still looked tired but no luck. Have just put him down again after about 3h15 awake - settled holding my hand again. I am fine with hand holding as I can sleep on the floor by the cot if it becomes a long term thing and I found it easy to wean the twins off it. Plus it leaves a hand free for baby whispering on my phone!!

Don't think we will get a CN as hopefully he will sleep until 4ish....but will try really hard to have him asleep by 7 at the latest. Does that sound ok?

[trimbler]

Sorry too late to answer you now, I'd have aimed for a little earlier BT given the 6am WU, as a 7pm BT would make for a 13h day on two naps, which may be a bit much, but let me know how it went. The first nap may have been OT, 3.5h A is much longer than he's had previously, isn't it? I'd have to look back over your previous posts to work out a suitable first A to aim for...

Well done again on the settling, that's fantastic

Aha - just found a day you posted where she did a great 1h45 nap after a 3h15 A time, so how about sticking with that for a few days and see if you can get some consistency with that first nap?

[4isstillnighttime]

  well, it all went wrong!! He woke up after 45 mins and I spent an HOUR trying to resettle him - he kept dropping off then waking himself up again. In the end I got him up at 4, gave him an early supper and was all ready to get him to bed super early.....but it didn't work out like that and he ended up going to bed at 7. I had various emergencies to deal with (potty training  ) and just put him in bed with his dummy....and he settled himself with no fuss at all. And he cried out after about an hour but was back asleep by the time I got there.

He has been on a 3 h A for ages (I like it as it's easy to remember!!) but I find I need at least 3h15 or I get 45 min naps. Unless he is tired from the night. If we have a reasonable night shall I try 3h15 and see how it goes? If I get a short nap I can't resettle then hopefully 3h15 will do again.

BTW great idea for watery food!!! He has had melon, cucumber and stewed pear today!! As well as LOADS of water....but he just dribbles it out and grind at me!!

[weaver]

Cucumber and melon encourage pee-ing and pear helps move the poo along, so that might all help.  Is there anything about the frequency or (eew) texture of his poo that might make you think he has a food intolerance issue? Mind you, I suspected one with LO1 and I think it was probably just his teeth.

Been rooting for you, you're doing really well.  Lying on the floor holding hands was my speciality for a long time   More chocolate!