Research request: A Mum's perspective on sleep deprivation and night wakings?

[weaver]

My babies are too big for your study but I think an interesting angle to add in would be how expectations change how we feel about NWs - are we ok with NWs when we expect them (because baba is a newborn or whatever age) and then not ok with them when they come out of nowhere?

[claredm]

* How old is your baby? 11.5 months

* How many times does your baby wake up in the night? 

* How much sleep do you think you get? About 6-7

* How many days of broken sleep can you handle? I can handle many nights of broken sleep, I can't handle broken sleep AND short nights. I can only take 2-3 days of 5-6 hrs of broken (up 2 times) sleep before I start to loose it.

[Melodymumof1]

Thank you all so much for sharing your experience, it's really interesting for all of us I think. If it's okay I'd love to send a pm with a few more questions for those of you who have responded. If anyone else would like to share their experience or has any questions please feel free to post them or pm me. Thanks again for all your support. Melody

[Eva's Mummy]

I am happy to answer more questions so feel free to pm me x

[ecwinters]

Yes, happy to answer any more questions.

[Lindsay27]

I think an interesting angle to add in would be how expectations change how we feel about NWs - are we ok with NWs when we expect them (because baba is a newborn or whatever age) and then not ok with them when they come out of nowhere?

This is a good point.  Because right now when I'm good and sleep deprived I find coping easier because my baby is only 6 weeks old, so I expect her to be up multiple times in the night.  With my son however, when he was a year old and was still not sleeping through the night I wasn't coping well at all...because at that point all I could think was he should be sleeping through, so you are just simply frustrated.  And then you start to second guess yourself and what you are doing, and blaming yourself for their sleep issues which just causes a host of other issues that makes coping extremely difficult.

[beth33]

* How old is your baby?
10 months (will turn 11 months in early Feb.)

* How many times does your baby wake up in the night?
0-3 times

* How much sleep do you think you get?
On a bad night I'll only get a couple of hours. On a good night I get 6-8. I spend much of the night trying to get stuff done (ex. laundry, vacuuming, cleaning, making baby food, researching my older DS's medical problems/therapies, etc.) I'm a SAHM but my DD doesn't nap well, so I don't get much time to do anything during the day. If I had to give an average amount of time I've been getting per night recently, I'd guesstimate 4 hours.

* How many days of broken sleep can you handle before you start to feel the effects during your daytime?
I'm always tired and usually don't get enough sleep, even when my DD does sleep through the night, so it's hard to say. I feel the effects of a lack of sleep pretty much every day. I don't know how many days I'd have to get extra sleep to get fully rested. Maybe a week? And that's not going to happen anytime soon For me at this point, I'd say that the total amount of sleep I get matters a lot more than the continuity of the sleep.

*How do you cope? Do you have any strategies for coping? And where or who are the places or people you go to for support?
I complain to... I mean talk to my mom and my DH, and that helps make me feel a little better. I'm unfortunately an emotional eater, so I do end up indulging in unhealthy food a bit more when I'm extra, extra tired. I try to find ways to enjoy the time I spend away from the kids, even if it is cleaning the bathroom. Audio books are really helpful as an escape and can be used during a lot of little household chores. Other than that, I pretty much just try and get through each day and hold on to my patience as much as possible. It helps that I enjoy playing with my kids, and they're two of the cutest, sweetest little guys ever. Not that I'm biased

If you want to ask me any more questions, feel free to pm me.

[Antie66]

7 months next week

Wakes twice a night (11pm and 3am) for feeding

I get about 6 hrs a night (lo wakes early)

210 days and counting ...

I cope because DH takes one morning in the weekend (I have a lie in) and my mother in law helps out during the week. I sleep when he naps, if i need and can. When he woke 6 times a night ... Not too long ago ... I pretty much broke (and started on this forum). You just man up, cause there is no other choice .

[Amytheo]

How old is your baby? Nearly 5 months
How many times does your baby wake? 4-6 times
How much sleep do you think you get - around 4-5 hrs in 1-1.5hr bursts
* How many days of broken sleep can you handle before you start to feel the effects during your daytime? Don't know how to answer this as it's been like this since birth so I have just had to get used to it. Baby has silent reflux which is why he finds sleep so hard, plus now we're into bad sleep habits as a result.
*How do you cope? Do you have any strategies for coping? And where or who are the places or people you go to for support? I co-sleep and breastfeed lying down. If I don't then I get even less sleep and then I really suffer and can't function. My bf supports me by having him in the mornings so I can sleep in.

[~*Nicole*~]

How old is your baby?
7 months old

How many times does your baby wake?
3-5 or so times once I am asleep for the night around 10ish

How much sleep do you think you get?
Hard to say. I usually fall asleep reading to my older LOs in their bed on days I am really tired, near 9pm. Otherwise I am up until 10 or 11 trying to catch up with DH a little. I think It's probably on average 6 hours broken up every 1 to 2 hours. My older LOs often wake at night for various reasons also (sick, wet pull up or bed, nightmare) and join us in bed at some point.

* How many days of broken sleep can you handle before you start to feel the effects during your daytime?
I actually really need sleep to function. I think while nursing my hormone levels are different and I can tolerate less sleep than usual, but generally I need DH to let me sleep in on weekends and still never feel like I am catching up. I can physically keep going but I feel like my mind is in a fog. I definitely overuse caffeine to function. It's hard to say how many days because it's been so long since I've had consecutive days of good sleep.


*How do you cope? Do you have any strategies for coping? And where or who are the places or people you go to for support?
DD is in a pack in play next to our bed for convenient NFs and NWs. I drink coffee every morning and sometimes tea for an afternoon pick me up. My mother lives nearby and watches the baby when I go to work. I often ask her for extra help to get things done that I otherwise would not be able to get done.

[Bella89]

* How old is your baby?
Just turned 1
* How many times does your baby wake up in the night?
2-3 times. For pacifier, teething pain- here I have to pick him up and whisper to his ear, water if running nose
* How much sleep do you think you get?
6h/night of broken sleep, sometimes 1h nap if husband is kind:)
* How many days of broken sleep can you handle before you start to feel the effects during your daytime?
2 or 3 depending on nights

Good luck!

[*Ali*]

My DD is 13mo. She is up 1-2 times a night usually. She did have periods of several weeks when she slept through but it didn't last. She just has a quick BF and then goes back in the cot awake.
I probably get 6hrs of broken sleep e.g. 11.30pm to 6 or 7am with a NW in there somewhere. (Her other NW if she has it is usually from me or my husband disturbing her as we go to bed).
I always seem to wake at night even when my kids sleep through so I guess 6yrs is how long I can last! I cope with chocolate and the odd nap once a week. Plus my DH lets me go back to bed every couple of weeks on a Sunday (we take it in turns).

[Emami]

My daughter is 14 months. Usually up once a night, occasionally sleeps through, occasionally has a worse night.

I would say I get about 6-7hrs broken most nights now.  I can manage fine on this, although would prefer more!  However, I was really struggling a few months ago when her NWs were always long, like 2-3hrs.  Although she does still wake, it is pretty rare that it's a long one now.  But at that time I was getting more like 4-5hrs broken sleep and I didn't feel like myself. I managed for a while, but after about 2 months of it the cumulative effect caught up with me and I was irritable and angry and questioned whether I was depressed. Fortunately things have improved!

[lily_layne]

How old is your baby? DS is 14 months?
How many times does he wake? DS sleeps through 5-6 days/week and has 1 NW when he doesn't. I nurse him quickly, put him down and he drifts off.
How much sleep do you think you get? I get about 7-8 hours because I am often in bed and sleeping by 9/9:30!
How many days of broken sleep can you handle? I feel the effects right away - I need a lot of sleep. I can manage for 2-3 days but any more than that and I really struggle. I feel like I'm in a fog and become irritable and impatient.
How do you cope? When DS was smaller and waking every night, I found it helped to get out for a walk with the LOs, especially in the morning - it seemed to perk me up for the day. I also often napped when the LOs were napping and DH and I take turns sleeping in on the weekends. My main strategy is to get to bed early myself!

[Melodymumof1]

Sorry for the absence, you'll all be able to relate. I've been doing night toilet training with my son, it's much earlier than I would have planned but he insisted that he was no baby. And as you can guess it's been a few weeks of waking constantly, I think last night I was up 5 times and after a few weeks it feels pretty tough and I've had a few mini meltdowns between the coffee consumption.

Some of the things that have been mentioned made me think of other questions and if anyone has time I'd love your input on these and like Weaver did, if you have any questions you want to put out there or thoughts to add please do. Your input and experiences are all unique and I think it helps us all to speak about it, I personally find it helpful and that's the intention of the research to understand our genuine experience as mothers.

The other questions I had were:

* What do you define as a 'good night'?
* How important or how big is the topic of 'Sleep' in your household?
* When you hear your baby make a sound in the night how do you respond?
* What do you feel changes in your personality if anything when you are sleep deprived?
* How do people respond to you when you are sleep deprived? And how do you respond to people? is there any difference from when you are rested?
* Do you use any sleep aids with your baby (Toys, apps, noise, machines, monitor etc..)
And the question Weaver posted - Which is a great question.

Do expectations change how we feel about NWs - are we ok with NWs when we expect them (because baba is a newborn or whatever age) and then not ok with them when they come out of nowhere?