9 months NW like a newborn

[jessmum46]

Ok thoughts -

1 - reflux?  Could that be bothering her?  Does she nap well because she is so exhausted from reflux bothering her at night that she crashes?  What meds is she on?  What's her weight and what dose?

2 - the best day you had you just let her sleep.  I'm thinking with broken nights that a capped am nap is not the way forwards - I just feel it will set her up for an OT day again.  What are your time restrictions for school runs etc?  I think we need to plan for a day that means not waking her unless it is from second nap to preserve bedtime

3 - how do you try to settle her at night?  How does she go down at bedtime?  How often does she feed at night?  I'm only asking because B developed a 'sneaky' prop which took me ages to realise as he went down fully awake at bedtime.  However he definitely developed some habit feeds at night which made his nights far worse than they should have been for a long time. 

Will look out for your reply x

[lauradj]

Oh love!  I so wish you were right here in my city so I could come over and give you a big hug!!!  I wouldn't suggest capping the morning nap.  Can your LO stay up until 12:45pm?  There's no way H could last that long.  He naps from 10:30am until he wakes.  The last fews days that's been 2.5 hrs.  Today it was 1.5hr (darn grumpy toddler!).  In light of the early WU I let him nap for a little over an hour this afternoon, instead of capping the afternoon.  Here's our EASY:

WU:7am
S:10:30am
WU: 12:45/1pm
S:3/3:30 (somewhere around here, depending on how tired he is)
WU:4/4:15pm
BT:7pm

[theu.s.lees]

Thanks ladies. I wish I could just let her sleep in the morning. But the school run is at 12:15 that I have to leave and then again at 2:45 (preschool is only 2.5 hrs. It kills me). However we are out for the holidays and the past two days she has works up on her own after 1.5 hrs.

I have thought that maybe she needs an extend in her A times but it already seems we are so OT from the nights but then UT from the days. Idk. It feels like a mess. And even when the days feel good it doesn't seem to matter.

We are on an 8 am WU mainly because I'm exhausted and I'm sleeping in a little bit.

I don't think reflux is bothering her. She is on ranitidine 2.5ml twice a day. She sleeps best when DH goes in to resettle and ends up laying with her on the floor (she's on the floor too). She ends up settling herself mostly then.

When she goes to Bed she is read a story and sing songs until she is calm and laid in her crib. She's not asleep but she isn't fully awake either. Then we resettle first trying with patting/rubbing her back in her crib. Once she's calm we will hold our hand there and slow remove as she's calm. If she doesn't settle we pick her up to calm down and start again. If after 20-30 minutes she doesn't settler or she wakes up 10 minutes after being asleep i will nurse her and then lay her in her crib having to have my hand there. She has a lovey and a paci though she doesn't really use the paci.

Last night she was up at 10, 12, 2, & 6.

[lauradj]

How many hours is she awake for now?

[theu.s.lees]

She is doing about 3 HR A times sometimes 3.15

[jessmum46]

Would you be prepared to get up and start your day at 7/7.30 instead? You'd fit in a decent morning nap that way....may work better?

I do think perhaps some sleep training is required though that is a lot of intervening to help her sleep. Even when she settles herself it's not truly independent sleep if DH is with her. At this age I'd be putting her down fully awake, not drowsy.  I suspect she doesn't *really* know how to self-settle and tackling that may make things a whole lot easier to see if routine isn't right.

How do you feel about that?

[theu.s.lees]

I know we need to do some sleep training. I've tried to start with pupd but she gets so mad and I'm so tired. But last night DH started pupd and was able to get her to sleep. It only lasted 15 minutes though. I tried as well before that. After being up with her for two hours I gave up and brought her into bed Sherri nursed her to sleep and the rest of the night. Of course she has a stuffy nose now which was causing problems. I will have the humidifier and elevate her bed a touch tonight. Hopefully that helps. And DH feels encouraged by pupd and said he's going to do that and give me a break from her. Hopefully we can have a good nap day to give him a good base.
I will also see about extending A times. Starting with 3.15. But I guess I'm so lost on what her day "should" look like now. You'd think id have this figured out by baby 3. But she's so different then the other two.
As far as moving to earlier wake up. That's my goal. I used to wake up super early and then the kids would getup no later then 7:30. But now that the big kids don't nap and I'm so tired from the night with H I just sleep until I wake up or she wakes me up. I plan on slowly moving that earlier aswehopedullyget better nights. I don't plan on going anywhere these next two weeks of winter break except for all of these chrismtas events. So hopefully the timing worksite well

[jessmum46]

Sounds good make sure DH is well-equipped with the info from the PUPD FAQs here: How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations) particularly as things change a little if she is pulling to stand.

My feeling would be whilst sleep training just pick an A time and stick with it, give or take.  I'd say 3h30 is about typical for 9 months but you may want to have her in the crib a touch earlier for now as likely she will be tired from sleep training and not immediately settle, at least to begin with.  Once she is settling independently it will be far easier to tweak the routine as you'll know she isn't settling because of UT/OT rather than she just doesn't know how.

Hugs for the tiredness,I know just how draining it is.  But keep the end goal in sight,  you all deserve a better sleep

[theu.s.lees]

Thank you for your feedback. DH was working with her at first and then I reread the PUPD stuff and realized we had to change for her age. So we've been working on not actually picking up or having her fall asleep with our hand on her. It seems to be working well, at least for her going to bed and staying asleep in the early hours. However, she still has 2-3 NW every night. I'm sure I need to be better about not feeding at that first one, but I'm so tired often that I just can't do it. Her first NW is usually around 11/11:30 which means I've had an hour or 1.5hrs of sleep and so I'm hitting a sleep cycle weird.
Sunday night we had the best night ever. She woke at 11:30, I was able to resettle her without feeding, and then she was up at 2:30 (I fed) and then 7am for the day. It seems she does best on 4hr A times with 1 long nap. The problem is that I have a school run around the time her nap is due, or just after.
Like today, she's up at 7:45. Which means she would need to nap at 11:45, but I have the school run at 12:15. So I feel so stuck. And then on days when I can manage for her to make it until I'm back, I still have to pick DS up (most days) at 3, so leaving at 2:45. And that's a long time until BT. So anyways. IDK what to do! Any ideas?
Since she was awake Monday at 7, I put her down just before 11 and then had to wake her at 12:15 to take DS to school. She had a CN later. She had several NW from 3:30-6am, until she finally slept a little longer.

[lauradj]

What if she had a 30-45 min CN in the morning and then a good long nap around noon?  I can't recall all the pick up times but that's what I've moved H to.  He CN's around 9:30am and then has a proper nap at 1.  Would something like that work?