Extending nap time for my 6 month old

[Fifilottie]

Hello,

I have been on this site before and have had some fantastic advice but maybe I am still barking up the wrong tree as my DS is still a short napper.

However I am very proud to say that since starting shh pat at 9 weeks and then adapting it to shh stroke my DS is mostly able to self settle unless there is an  ulterior problem( that is the only time he will cry). However as though I thought self settling was the magic key he still only sleeps for 30 to 40 minutes. As his sleep time is so short and not so restoring he struggles and winges at just over 2 hours awake so I have to put him down and he take 15 to 20 mins to for him to settle himself, although he acts very tired from the start( yawning, eye rubbing etc..) I think by now he should have a longer activity time. I have tried this but at these times he will not self settle and I think he is OT.  However he often has to go 2 and a half hours in the morning cos of a school run but then will only sleep for 20 mins. I thought that because he could self settle he may make it through transition but he just can't.

I also have to feed on wake ups, in his room, in the dark, as he will not feed well otherwise as he is distracted( or have I created this from a four month issue and he has thrived on this as though routine). As a distracted feeder he has got used to feeding on wake ups and I wonder if this the problem.

I tried WToS once but he got sooo angry. Willing to try again, any advice on this and timings? I just think that extending the awake time for my short napper hasn't answered the problem and whether working on extending the nap may aid longer awake time IYKWIM. 

I also have school runs to consider 8.20 until back home at 9 and 3 until back home at 4. These have got in the way a he seems to take longer to settle and sleep in the pram than on his own in his cot.

Any advice much appreciated x

[trimbler]

Hey there, could you post a whole day's EASY please so we can get a better idea of what might be needed? Also please include his mood during awake times and any attempts at nap resettles, how did he react - screaming or trying to go back to sleep, or chatting, etc?

[Fifilottie]

I think my issue is that when I feed on wakes ups after his short naps he now wants to go back to sleep so in transition is inclined to want a quick snack feed and then fall asleep on me. An average day goes as so

WU 5.30/ 6.can normally bfeed back to sleep until 6.30(unless a dirty nappy as he feeds)
E 5.30 until 5.50.
S 5.50 until 6.30 ( if he wakes at 5.30 it plays havoc with my day and school runs)
A 6.30 breakfast and school run( acts tired but often refuses to sleep in the pram now
S 9.20  back home in cot
E 9.40 until 9.50(quick feeder, sometimes goes back to sleep, not always.
A 9.50 11  or 11.30 lunch
S 12.15( go up just before 2 hour point when he gets wingy, he will self settle with no crying really in 20 mins average) wakes up sucking blanky making' I want to go back to sleep noises)
E 12.45 -13.00 then goes back to sleep
S 13.00 until 13.20 on me or in cot if he will take the transfer
A 13.20 until 16.00 school run( resists napping in pram )
E 16.00 he seriously will not self settle for this nap despite weeks of trying so I have to feed to sleep and will sleep on me for 15 to 20 mins if I am lucky. Transfer to cot impossible.
S 16.15 until 16.30
A 16.30 just started some finger foods to have family tea with us( just plays but that's fine)
At 17.30 he will need to be carried(while stood up) as he gets very wired and wriggly and screechy if not. Music calms him but he will also giggle hysterically at DD but I think this is OT
E 18.10 8 oz bottle of formula(a lot I know but he is begging for it by 18.00
S 18.45 normally self settles well

NW between 9.30 and 11 for DF. .wakes for it now, takes bet. 4 to 7 oz, amount does not affect next wake up, nether does time he has it.
4am feed back to sleep
Sometimes if he skips the 4 am wake up he will wake for the day at 5.30 and won't go back to sleep.

So there we have it. There is definitely a feed sleep association going on in transition and he is starting to want longer naps as previously I fed on wakes and he wouldn't go back to sleep. I really need to start from scratch again as it seems hay wire. I am sure if I could get him two long naps. .ideally between school runs  he would be happier. I guess I should be pleased that he can self settle.

Also, I have left him at transition for up to 20 mins but he cries.

Sorry for long post and thank u x

Ps this is just the average hectic routine we have. It can differ daily on time but follows similar patterns.

[trimbler]

Ah ok I think I see what mean about the feeding after short naps. Could you perhaps try resettling (without feeding) for a set amount of time, perhaps 45mins max, and then feed with a small lamp on, but not allow him to fall asleep whilst feeding, and then make sure you take him out of the bedroom for some A time, even if short, before he's allowed to go back to sleep again? Or do you think he's genuinely hungry after his short nap? In that case, you maybe could try topping him up just before his nap, in the room, just don't let him feed to sleep. There's a classic growth spurt at 6mo so it's possible that he may just be more hungry, wdyt? So for example, could you top him up after the morning school run, before his nap?

I'm interested to know how he is after a 20min morning nap? Does he seem really tired afterwards or just happy to play? A 20min nap can be OT or discomfort-related, if the former then hopefully you'd be able to extend it but if the latter he'd probably be harder to settle, or of course if it's hunger due to a growth spurt then a top up before the nap might help. If he's been doing the same A time for several weeks, on the other hand, then he may need it stretched in order to be able to take a longer nap.

I wouldn't worry about feeding to sleep for the last CN, it won't last many more weeks anyway and it's hard to see how he'd get to a decent BT without it. Even once he (hopefully!) starts taking longer naps earlier in the day, you have to fit them between school runs so they may not be able to be quite as long as might be ideal. However having said that it seems that you get longer at home than I do so perhaps that wouldn't be such an issue...sorry, running ahead of myself a bit there

I know what you mean about the school run getting in the way, on the plus side I found that this had the effect of fixing the first nap which helped to prevent EWs from getting out of hand. DD would often end up with a short OT nap but got to the point where she could be resettled eventually, usually with a form of shh pat.

You may need to try a few things to see what works, when it comes to nap extension. Some mums on here have had great success using w2s, you could try going in at say 18mins and lay a hand on him, aiming to catch him at the 20min WU and soothe him back to sleep without him waking up too much. Or you could stay in his room (hide if necessary!) so that you can do this without fear of the door waking him. Or you could go to him as soon as he wakes and do your version of shh pat to try and help him back off again. It's quite common for LOs to be able to ss at the beginning of a nap, but need help to resettle if they do my short nap.

Have you tried an earlier BT? This may just help with the 5:30am WUs if they're due to OT. He certainly seems tired earlier on?

[Fifilottie]

Thank you for taking your time to reply x

I think the feeding in transition is habit related. He only properly feeds on and off on let down for about a minute or two. To stay on me 20 mins is ages as he has been a quick feeder since 1 mo. I suspect that because he was a devilish distracted feeder at 4 months then everything changed. Previously he reacted to routine so well. Sleeping and feeding to the minute, textbook, bar short naps. So EASY worked well. But as he got distracted I could only feed when he was. sleepy and we got caught in this trap.

After the 20 min nap he is actually ok. He has been very alert since newborn. He isn't a crier so when OT hits he chooses instantly to feel overstimulated and fails to relax. I often have to play classical music, close curtains and dance a bit to help him wind down. He is a tricky one.

I like  your idea of filling him up pre nap. Even of it isn't a growth spurt it would help me further to understand whether it is feed or comfort sucking he associates with the breast. I am still not sure what his hunger cues are until he knows evening bottle is coming. Wondering whther to replace some bf with bottle so he and I understands hunger better.  I don't mind, just want at happy boy x

What is an average routine for a 6 mo, feel we got stuck at 4mo. X

[trimbler]

Hmm ok so doesn't sound like discomfort at 20mins then...and he usually won't resettle at all then? Could alternatively be OS, from what you describe of his temperament. Will be interesting to see what success you have with resettling/w2s, that might help us get a better picture of what sort of routine he really needs - ie if you manage to resettle him back to sleep for a much longer nap then you probably don't need to push the A. If he's really not going to resettle but wants to play then you probably do need a push, iyswim?

You can find some example 6mo routines here, just bear in mind there can be a big range of 'normal'.
chronological EASY samples, 4-6 months
Or for 7+ mo:
chronological EASY samples, 7-9 months