Predictable Unpredictability - Please help us!

[becj86]

I don't know TBH, I thought I had her pegged, but looks like that wasn't the case

What's been working?

[labrodyk]

I thought we were so on the right track but putting her down was a nightmare!! This was today...what did you think went wrong? I unfortunately was out at the shops so a combination of OT and OS.

WU: 6.45
OOB: 7.00
E: 7.00 (110ml)
A:
E: solids
S: 8.55; 9.00-11.15
E: 11.3
A:
E: 1.20
S: 1.35; 1.40-2.13. Lay quietly staring until 2.30. Cried so attempted shush pat and was making sleepy/moaning sounds but wouldn't go to sleep.
E: 3.00
A:
S: 4.00, protest/mantra sucking hands to self soothe but not asleep until 4.20-5.00.
E: 5.20 solids
A:
E: 6.40 (210ml)
BT: 7.00; 7.20
-1.30
NW: 1.30-2.15. Mantra cry, then patting to calm and stayed with her whilst she quietly resettled.

Monday 29/2
WU: 6.36, quietly chatting
OOB: 7.00
E: 7:00 (milk. really struggled with getting her to drink this morning)
A:
E: 8.20 - solids
A:
S: 9.45, 8.55-10.58
E: 11.10 (120ml)
A:
E: 12.00 - solids
A:
S: 12.58; crying. Angry and cranky from 12.30. Slept 1.03-1.43. 1.03-1.43. Cried on and off before drifting off again around 2.00ish-3.00
E: 3.10 (180ml)
A:  cranky and didn't want to be put down from before 4.30!
S: attempted sleep from 4.40 but was screaming despite rubbing eyes and non-stop whinging. Wouldn't settle in cot so went for a 30 minute walk but she was wide eyed. Collapsed in my arms at 5.15.
E: 6.00 solids
A:
E: 7.15 (200ml)
A: 7.35; 7.55
^ protested and grumbled for a few minutes then lay quietly before drifting off.


I'm quite confused today and what I should do. Poor A seems so out of sorts.

[becj86]

Do you know, I think part of her upset at lying down for sleep and the dofficulty with feeding could be reflux. I really do. Mainly i think that because it doesn't seem to matter how long her A time is, she is still struggling to sleep. I wonder if she sleeps better at your parents' place because she is held more of the day?

[labrodyk]

She's been drinking a lot better lately and putting on heaps of weight. She still throws up a lot especially when on her tummy but she's so happy and smiley. She does tend to get held a bit at my parents but not all that much more that it's noticeable. She sleeps all night laying down in her cot and the same for naps.. I think she just hates going down for a sleep, like she's missing out on the world. That morning nap is at least predicatale around the 2hr A time and the rest will just be messy until she drops the 3rd nap I assume!

[labrodyk]

What a horrible night and day. Well today wasn't too bad nap wise but the crying starts as I'm standing in the doorway to my room. She goes to sleep fairly quickly but I'm at the stage of dreading nap time ans putting her down. I'm trying not to get anxious so she doesn't pick up on it but I hate it...

Last night...
A: 7.35; 7.55pm
^ protested and grumbled for a few minutes then lay quietly before drifting off.
NW: 1.00-2.45. Tried to resettle her but should have just fed her. The fact that she CAN sleep through frustrates me and I am trying not to feed but that seems fruitless.
NF: 2.45 (180ml)
S: 3.15-7.20

Tuesday 1/3
WU: 7.20am
E: 7.30 (120ml)
A:
E: 8.45 - solids
S: 9.15; 9.20-11.48
E: 12.00 (90ml)
A:
E: 1.30 - solids
A:
S: 2.15; 2.20-3.40
E: 4.00 (90ml)
A:
E: 5.00 - solids
A:
E: 5.45 (100ml)
BT: 6.00; 6.45

All her sleeps she cries and is upset! Bedtime she was laughing and carrying on as I put her down but had been crying with tiredness moments earlier but then cried while I listened to her mantra crying and then went to help her with shush/pat.

**sigh** had a big cry tonight. Things just seem so out of my reach to make things happier and easier on both Audrey and I.   

[becj86]

I think she just hates going down for a sleep, like she's missing out on the world.

This, unfortunately takes time to get better. I did have L sleeping on the floor in the lounge for a while, I'd just swaddle as a sleep cue then unwrap once he was asleep and I'd lean over him, shade his eyes a bit and sing til he fell asleep. I thought he didn't want to miss out but I now suspect it may have been partly that but also there must have been some aspect of him struggling with transitions. How does she go with other transitions?

[labrodyk]

She does really well with transitions. The only time she doesn't is getting into the car. If she's just a nap, She's fine (same as her bedroom) but even slightly tired and she'll cry and get upset which either stops when I leave the room or start the car but can quite often continue for hours in the car with no letting up or falling asleep once it's sleep time or past sleep time! Extremely frustrating and makes me very house bound

Think I've got those A times all wrong now...no idea where to start. What time should I take her to her room to be in bed by and what time should I aim to have her asleep?!

[becj86]

Ok, so if we take the approach of starting again, then in the absence of any presumptions re: high/low A, I'd look at the change from 4 months to 6 months of 2hr A time to 2:45/3hr by 6 months. Given that increase happens reasonably linearly, I'd just pick an A time around 2:20 or so given her age and use that as a base from which to tweak. The idea is to pick the A time, keep it consistent for several days then tweak as necessary based on nap signs.

[labrodyk]

Thank you Bec! I'm going to try it and get back to you.
There is something majorly different between my parents house and mine. She had a 2hr nap in the morning at home; 25 mins in the car; and 40 minutes in the afternoon then slept 7.30-7.30 overnight no wake ups. My dad put her to bed so he did rock the cot until she was asleep but she didn't wake at all...

Unfortunately this morning my mum put her down right on the 2hr mark, no crying just a grizzly chat to her comforter, and she slept 9.30ish-11.13 (approx 1.5hrs). Pretty sure I'll be moving home soon if she keeps this up!!

Thursday 3/3
WU: 7.25
E: 7.30 (130ml)
A:
E: 8.30 - solids
A:
E: 9.15 (50ml) - mum gave her a top up but not sure if I should continue with that.
S: 9.27; 9.35-11.13
E: 11.30 (130ml)
A:
E: 12.30 - solids
A: yawned at 1hr50 min then again with an eye run at 2hr A so went to put her down.
S: 1.16; 1.25-1.57
^^ little grizzle and a chat but then woke after 35mins rubbing her eyes frantically, yawning but chatting and started playing with the sheets and trying to eat her clothes!

I'm confused with the A time too. Is that the time I put her in the cot or the time I want her asleep?

[becj86]

Are you spending more time with her rather than doing tasks around the house when at your parents' place?

A time is eyes open to eyes closed, so when you want her asleep.

[labrodyk]

Yes, I guess so, only because my older DS is at preschool those days.

last nap was a bust. I haven't got her out of bed yet, how should I play the afternoon!?

[labrodyk]

I ended up with the following for the nap and will shoot somewhere for 2hrs to be asleep by 2.20A at bedtime!

A:
E: 3.30 (100ml)
A:
S: 4.10; 4.27-5.05
^ very OT. Mantra cry and protest trying to settle.

[becj86]

I don't really know... see how you go for a few days, with 2:20 A time and cutting back by half the sleep missed if she short naps. She's not the kind of baby for whom the typical times will necessary work but at least then we may have an idea. She's not pretty used to that 2hr A in the AM, it might not be the length of A time she needs but its what she's used to, so she may continue sleeping well at that time for a while.

[labrodyk]

Thanks Bec! I'll see how she goes. It's so hard to get to that 2hr20 A because she'll sometimes take longer or shorter to fall asleep but I'm trying to get as close to it as possible. When she starts showing all her cues BEFOFE the time I would start wind down I feel mean keeping her up and don't want to miss the window.

I might stick with 2hrs or thereabouts in the morning as she's so much easier to read. It's the rest of the day that's a lot trickier.

I'm also going to do some switch arounds in my matchbox size house on the weekend to give her a bit more space in another room - see if that makes any difference.

[labrodyk]

Wasn't a very good night and day today so not holding much hope for tonight.

NW: 1.10
NF: 1.30am
S: 1.40

Friday 4/3
WU: 7.00
E: 7.10 (90ml)
A:
S: 9.12; 9.20-9.57
^mantra crying and fussing once I'd left the room.
E: 11.00 (180ml - forced!)
A:
S: 11.45; 11.55-12.43
^ Fell asleep very quickly
E: 2.00.
SCREAMING on playmat
A:
S: 3.20-3.45 (car). Highway driving so not sure why she doesn't keep sleeping.
BT: 6.20; 6.40 asleep
^beside herself crying so had to shush/pat.
Woke after 40 minutes at 7.20 crying. Resettled by 7.50

NF: 10.30pm (180ml)
NF: 3.30pm (180ml)


WU: 7.20
E: 7.30 (120ml)
A:
E: 8.45 (solids)
A:
S: 9.25; 9.35-10.13
E: 11.30 (120ml)
A:
S: 12.15; 12.25-1.13
S: 12.15; 12.25-1.13
E: 2.15 (180ml!)
**early and big feed!**
S: 2.30; 2.40-4.24
^ attempted sleep 3 times prior. She woke and tried to go back to sleep, she even closed her eyes for 5 minutes but woke and cried.