Predictable Unpredictability - Please help us!

[becj86]

Poor poppet, gas pains are horrid

FX reducing that NF will help increase her appetite in the day! Its awful when something so seemingly simple as feeding is going awry, hugs xx

[labrodyk]

Thanks Bec!!

She woke at 9.45am and cried out but fell back asleep. Then woke at 2.30 (AGAIN!) and did the same thing but I fell back asleep and woke to her at 3.20. I offered her 140ml of milk but she drank less than 100ml. Woke before 6 chatting and crying so offered a bottle at 7.00am and I got a little over 120ml into her.

Sigh, I'm about to go cold turkey on this night feed because it doesn't seem to be for hunger any more.

[becj86]

Worth a shot. It may move later but she's not taking much there now.

[labrodyk]

Nothing is working at all now... A total mess. What do you think I should do!? Yesterday was two good naps and a decent night that didn't involve a feed but first nap was crap.

Nap 1: 9.30-10.10 (cot)
Nap 2: 1.50-2.10 (my arms after a bottle)
Nap 3: 4.40-4.50 (car)
BT: 7.15; 7.30
NW: 2.30 call out
NW: 3.30. I tried to resettle for over an hour and got nowhere
NF: 4.40, 120ml milk. Drank and lay chatting until after 5.00

WU: 7.55
Nap: 11.00;11.10-1.20
Nap: 4.30; 4.35-6.09
BT: 8.25; 8.42 asleep
NW: restless crying/chatting off and on between 2.00-4.30

WU: 7.00
Still a struggle to get her to drink 180ml, took almost a whole hour.
Nap 1: 9.57;  10.03-10.50 (could have woken earlier). 11.30-1.00
Woke and just rolling around, playing on her tummy before crying. She resettled at 11.30-1.00
Nap 2: 2.50-3.10 in the car (?)
Nap 3: 5.15; 5.30
^^ protest crying.

[becj86]

Yep, car naps can be a nightmare when they aren't at "nap time"

Yesterday looked pretty good, I would almost say you need to bite the bullet and do 2 nap days. Those long NWs in the early hours of the morning with chatting... maybe a sign to increase that first A time a bit more, see how she's taking shorter first nap now if that A time's not just over 3hr? That's where it needs to be I reckon. Small sample size - 3 days, but I think that's reasonable.

[labrodyk]

Where do I start Bec?! Is that 3hr+ A time for all 3 awake times, even before bed? Do I do set naps? Or adjust A time if she does short nap? Do I still consider anything over 1hr 15min a decent nap?

She's woken this evening after 40 minutes and then again 2 hours after bedtime.  This sounds totally OT to me. That and potentially teeth? But I did give her a dose of nurofen before bed.

BT: 8.00, asleep 8.20
Nap 3: 5.15; 5.30-6.10
^^ screaming.
BT: 8.00; asleep 8.20
NW: 9.00pm. Quietly resettled
NW: 10.30pm. Crying but resettled. 
NW: 2.00am. Crying out but resettled
NW: 4.00am. Crying out but resettled.
NF: 4.24-4.38 (120ml)
^ asleep in my arms after feed.
S: 5.00
^ chatting and moaning trying to settle.

WU: 7.15

[becj86]

I'm imagining something like this (shifted for WU time, of course):
7 - WU
10 - nap
11:30 (FX!) WU
2:30 - nap
4 (FX!) WU
7 - BT

Could well be teeth. I agree could also be OT.

I do wonder if set naps would at least give you the predictability you're looking for - you're then giving her adequate opportunity to sleep and its then up to her to take the sleep when she is given the opportunity. It should help to take the stress out of it for you.

We know she can do 3hr A time through the day, I think you can maybe do a bit less A before BT if she's had longer naps but I suspect that would possibly give you a short night.

[labrodyk]

Ok, thanks Bec! Should I wake after 1.5hrs or let her sleep?

It's such a struggle to keep her awake for the 3 hours and she's only slept 40 minutes again this morning at that A time but she went down absolutely screaming and running her eyes, plus she was only happy in my arms. anytime I put her down she cried.

If she does resettle herself (she chatted for 30 minutes and fell back asleep at 11.25) so I get her up after 2hrs in her bed or let her sleep? Doesn't leave much room for another sleep if she chooses to keep sleeping... I'm so confused!! Lol

[becj86]

I'd give her 2hr15 tops for nap, from when she falls asleep the first time, then move on. That way you're not reducing the night length too much and its giving her enough opportunity to sleep. Sticking to it consistently should help :-/

[labrodyk]

We got a sleep through last night until 6.30am (granted it's at my mum's house so won't be replicated when we return home tonight). Any chance of her pushing that WU closer to 7.00? I'm not complaining though, we found it super difficult to keep her awake and happy past the 2hr20min mark this morning. Crying, wouldn't play, not interested in toys and went down to bed very upset is this normal.

WU: 7.15
Nap 1: 7.13; 10.15-10.55. RS. 11.30-12.10
^ screaming. resettled after 30 minutes.
E: 1.43-2.03 (180ml)
Nap 2: 3.15-3.20 (car).
Nap 3: 3.25; 3.55-4.36
E: 6.30
A: bath
E: 6.50 (240ml over split feed)
BT: 7.05; 7.15

WU: 6.30
Nap 1: 9.30; 9.40
^^ grizzly and cranky from 8.50 (2hr20min). Crying and wouldn't be put down.

[becj86]

11:15 STTN is pretty good, I think I'd just take that It may well extend a bit later once your two nap routine is bedded down a bit more, it might not. BT could go a bit later if Nap 2 went a little longer which it might given more time for routine to settle also.

Crying, wouldn't play, not interested in toys and went down to bed very upset  is this normal.

I'd not have thought so. Maybe she would've liked a quick feed and back to bed having that WU treated as a NW? Maybe she's crook/teething? Different surroundings? Different people/smells? Overstimulated? I always found DS got OS really easy when visiting, even grandparents he visited regularly, so a toy would just send him round the bend because just the different house and extra people was enough to take in.

[labrodyk]

I tried really hard today and this is what we could manage. Not ideal at all and I found her SO difficult to keep awake. She was just so tired and upset and wasn't happy at all. Such a struggle I felt reall bad for her... We got a good morning nap but I timed the car nap perfectly and I got a super short nap where she screamed the rest of the journey home.

As for treating the WU as a night feed, I wasn't sure if I should do that since that often means she sleeps until close to 9am or more and then BT gets very late.

WU: 6.30
Nap 1: 9.30; 9.40-11.40
^^ grizzly and cranky from 8.50 (2hr20min). Crying and wouldn't be put down.
Nap 2: 2.39-3.09 in the car. Awake with the hiccups for 30 minutes then screamed for 30 minutes until we got home. Tried to settle her in my arms and she slept for 10 minutes from 4.30-4.40.
BT: 6.50; 7.00 asleep.
NW: 4.00. Cried out briefly but resettled herself.

WU: ? Chatting from 6.38-7.00
Nap 1: 9.45; 9.53-10.29.
^^ crying, fussing, moaning. Again, hard to entertain and miserable.

Why is it so unpredictable?

[becj86]

I'd almost time hopping in the car for the car nap to be a bit before she's due to sleep so she's got some time to calm down from the OS that is saying goodbye and transitioning to the car. Does she find music or audio books calming?

Poor little poppet, its horrid seeing them upset and I'm sure worse driving so far when she's screaming She did take a good solid AM nap though, so that's good :-/

[labrodyk]

Sorry, yes, we did that. We were in the car driving to pick up Harry from preschool where I was practically yelling and signing as loud as I could to keep her awake. Then got back in the car at 2.30 and listened to some music and she drifted off. Makes no difference what I do, that's all she's ever slept for in the car but it's making life hell.

I've just edited the above post with our night and morning and again, it's all fallen apart. I just want to cry....

[becj86]

It does make driving difficult. L screamed everywhere we went in the car til I turned him around, then I got a month or two respite before the screaming started again. Luckily we lived somewhere he rarely needed to drive.

Short nap again this morning