Predictable Unpredictability - Please help us!

[labrodyk]

Bahaha, it does doesn't it?! So incredibly frustrating. so what should I do?! This kid is seriously going to kill me and her! If I wasn't to do a short nap and just set naps in general, how do I determine these A times? You'd think 3hrs would be more suitable for her ages but gosh it's confusing.  Should I make a new post or something in naps or what do you suggest? Her morning wake and night is so unpredictable that I can't even pick a place to start.

So, this afternoon she fell asleep in my arms at 2.40pm during wind down (3hr20m A) but woke 40 minutes later and very quickly started crying. I'm beginning to wonder if 40 minutes is OT?
Tried to resettle herself from 3.20-3.40. Then I sat with her and cuddled and she drifted back off to sleep but of course my phone rang and woke her up just after 4.

She cried at bedtime again just before 7pm. Briefly but so unusual...

[becj86]

She's not ill or anything? Is she picking up some of the bugs H brings home from preschool? I just find it hard to account for the variation in A time.

I think reasonable for her to wake but not be happy to be awake at 40min even if it is UT, its not a restorative nap, yk, and sometimes its just that the surroundings have changed from when she fell asleep. I know with L, regardless of OT/UT/perfect A time, he would wake at 40min upset if he'd gone to sleep one place or one way and woken somewhere else, so the sleep cycles still happen but she's not transitioned due to being somewhere other than where she was when she fell asleep. That included if I had a shower once he was asleep and the shower was off (of course it was!).

[labrodyk]

no, not ill at the moment but she has picked up some of his germs in the past...Teething perhaps?

When I said she fell asleep she was 'almost' asleep but she wasn't asleep when I put her in the cot but very very very drowsy so she drifted off pretty quickly. but i totally see your point. my DS was the same with your shower scenario!

very lost with what to do or when; second day in a row she's been back in bed after 2hr35A in the morning and she's slept 2 hours! Do I keep that consistency across the day? I only got 40 minutes yesterday after a 2hr nap  and 3hr20 A but perhaps that was too long?


Ok; so I did 3hr15 A. Poor possum seemed tired and went to sleep quickly in a couple of minutes. She woke after 40 minutes but I thought she'd gone back to sleep as she was quiet and still for 10 minutes but no luck, she started crying

NF: 5.00.

Sunday 1/5
WU: 7.30
E: 8.00. Solids
A:
E: 9.00. Bottle
S: 10.05; 10.10-11.57
E: 12.30. Solids
A:
E: 1.40. Bottle
A:
S: 3.15; 3.19-3.50; quietly dozed until 4.03.
E: 4.30. snack
A:
E: 5.15. Solids
A:
E: 6.30. Bottle
BT: 6.55; 7.05 asleep by.

WU: 6.00 crying so could have been earlier
E: 6.20. Solids
A:
E: 7.40. Bottle
A:
S: 8.36; 8.48 at the latest - 10.00!

[becj86]

Talk about shifting goalposts, eh!? Wow, I think in your shoes, I'd do set naps at 9:30 and 12:30, cap the first one and cross my fingers for a long afternoon nap before kindy pickup. I think you'd have to do it consistently for at least a week before you'd know if it was going to work though :-/

[labrodyk]

This is what's even crazier Bec!! The rest of our day as follows... I think I'm just going to aim for max of 3hrs watching her signs and roll with the day as it pans out - 40 minute naps or more. Some days may be 3 naps, others 2, and yank her out of bed for kindy drop off/pickup until she shifts to one nap, there's just no rhyme or reason

E: 11.00. Solids
A:
E: 12.20. Bottle
A:
S: 12.48; 12.51-3.18. (Restless...but RS herself at 1.24, 2.17 & 2.30)
E: 4.30. Solids
A:
E: 6.00. Bottle
BT: 6.27; 6.37 asleep by!

I had such great intentions with capping the first nap but my heart isn't in it...I just can't do it!! Lol. I have to give her all she'll do in the day if I need to fiddle around getting DS places.

[becj86]

I think you've given it a good go for a few months, rolling with it based on your ideas there sounds like a good idea. Makes it hard to plan anything but I guess then you just have some days you plan appointments and some you don't and just leave it at that, yk?

[labrodyk]

Thanks for respond Bec, I think you're right, time to let go. Lol. She won't let me fix naps, maybe when she's on 1 nap?! Perhaps you could take a look at the below and see what kind of track we're on? That bottle after lunch I think she got a second wind and I was SUPER lucky to get the longer nap because she woke, stirred, looked around, had a quick chat several times before falling back to sleep...

WU: 6.00
E: 6.30. Solids
A:
E: 8.00. Bottle
A:
S: 9.00; 9.05-9.30-10.30/10.35
E: 10.45. Snack.
A:
E: 11.45. Solids
A:
E: 12.50. Bottle. Rubbing eyes constantly and falling asleep.
A: quietly playing in my arms.
S: 1.28; 1.33-3.41
^^ woke, stirred, chatted briefly at 2.06, 2.19, 3.00!

[becj86]

Well, she's got excellent independent sleep skills

She may just be a smart little cookie - that's sometimes the bright side with these ones who give us trouble wrt sleep and wake for a chat to themselves...

[labrodyk]

Haha, I wish those skills transcended to all all sleeps, day and night!

Last night she woke at 3am. I fed her after 10 minutes of failed settling but I'm really beginning to think she doesn't need food but I have no other way to settle her

E: 4.30. Solids
A:
E: 6.20;
S: 6.45; 7.00 asleep by.
NF: 3.00;
S 3.35-7.00

Wednesday 4/5
WU: 7.00
E: 7.20. Solids
A:
E: 8.50. Bottle (not much)
A:
S: 9.50; 10.15-10.40 (car)
E: 11.30. Solids
A:
S: 1.07; 1.19-1.42.
E: 2.18
S: 2.28; 2.55 - asleep at 3.27...

Total mess I need the car naps to extend and I have no idea what happened in the middle if she was UT why pull an OT/OS nap - she was really really tired too.

She was down for the night asleep by 7.30 but SO restless and called out at all these times before waking for the day at 5.53!! What would that be?!

1.15
3.11
3.28
4.45
5.00
5.53

Falling asleep exhausted on night bottle each night at the 3hr A time. Should I move back to 2.5? But that could mean a 5/5.30 BT most nights. Also, when do I change the bt routine to include teeth brushing versus now where it's only minutes before into bed. 

[labrodyk]

Argggg 5am wakeups are going to kill me!!! She cries out and then does so intermittently until after 6 but not really cryin and certainly not full on or continuous. Then she just babbles and whinges and moans until I get her closet to 6.30/7!

1hr 10 minute naps are not restorative enough!! How the hell do I get rid of them?!?!? After being awake so early this morning and nap at 9.25-10.36 - what do I do with her now? She just lays there babbling away quietly for 20 minutes at the moment... Second nap was the same 1hr10 minutes and after crying all the way home again in the car she's only just in bed at 6.30 and is so OT she can't fall asleep or stay asleep.

I feel SO useless and so upset. I can't read her at all anymore

[becj86]

If you're consistently getting 1:10 naps, that would typically mean she needs a bump in A time. Is that still a drama with her upset for an hour before nap time?

2hr40 A time off a 25min nap - maybe OT rather than UT...

I don't know how to extend your car naps wish I had a magic wand!

[labrodyk]

If I get the first nap wrong the whole day is a write off! The more I push the A, the shorter her naps become! The short naps mean her E and A (especially solids and milk) are getting so messed up that I'm practically feeding to sleep because she's just not hungry and if I fed her before a nap and she sleeps an hour, it can be hours until she's hungry but by then she's OT!

I don't even know what A time I'm doing anymore so it's hard to reduce it for the next nap! Makes i also difficult with her waking so early because I don't want to get up that early but she's not that upset that I would go to her or even offer a feed!

[becj86]

Ok, can you try for say 3:15/3:30 A time? Just you have shrinking first nap and WU for the day is moving earlier - both mean it time to increase A time in the AM. I think you're right - that first nap is often key. Miss A does go off the rails more than others I've seen but its common for that first nap to be the key.

I do wonder if you would do a sliding scale of A time, say 3:30, 3, 2:30 between naps. I don't know if that would work for her but its something I suggest given her reduced tolerance for longer A times as the day goes on.

[labrodyk]

This morning;

WU: 6.00
Out of bed: 6.30
Nap: 9.30-10.06! Has lay quietly playing with comforter and trying to fall back asleep for almost an hour!!!

Poor hubby; he's taking both kids out to a bbq lunch.

I'll try that sliding A scale! Should I do A from the time she wakes or the time I get her up because that was 3.5 this morning from wake up and she slept 30/35 minutes! I don't understand her at. All.

[becj86]

Not sure I do either... I would got from WU at least initially