Author Topic: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???  (Read 3156 times)

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Offline trimbler

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19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« on: January 15, 2016, 13:23:59 pm »
Hi there,

I'm frustrated! Perhaps I can just put this down to the 18mo SR, which was certainly bad with DS and went on for ever ::) but I'm wondering if there's something I'm missing? She goes to the CM on Mon/Wed/Thu and apparently settles for her nap within 5mins every time, the CM will put her down somewhere between 12:15 and 12:30 and she falls asleep quickly and doesn't wake up until the CM wakes her, either at 3 or 2:50, depending on how many other children she's looking after that day, I guess, to get into the car and collect DS from school. On days where she hasn't had to wake her, she's slept for up to 3h and had a wonderful night afterwards :) This should happen regularly now on Wed, since DS has an after school club that day so later collection.

However, on the other four days of the week, she's at home, I put her down in the same window (only very recently dropped morning CN, so still trying to find 'optimum' time) and she messes around consistently for up to an hour, sometimes more :( just chatting/singing, then when she finally falls asleep, she just does an OT 1.5h, waking up very upset but unable to re-settle, not that she would get the chance to go back to sleep anyway on a school day. She then has a bad OT night, although I can't tell you exactly what's happened the last few days as I've resorted to sleeping in the living room (she sleeps in our room), since DH hardly wakes to go to her and falls straight to sleep again afterwards. She has a cold too so some of the poor sleep could be attributed to that, but doesn't explain the huge discrepancy between naps at home and with the CM.

A bit of background - she's always been on the HSN end, needing shorter than average A times and has always been sensitive to OT so we've had some nasty OT cycles in the past. For naps and nights, she has her white bunny to cuddle and white noise, which we bring to the CM to use. At home the room is pitch black, I know the CM has black out blinds but not sure how dark the room is where she sleeps, but she does sleep in her own room there. Lunch is at a similar time both at home and at the CM's, more variable with the CM, she usually has time to poo and be changed before her nap, sometimes this doesn't happen and then I wonder whether she's been uncomfortable, but generally that's not the case. I think she sleeps in a travel cot at the childminders, whereas it's a permanent cot here, but I wouldn't have thought that would be a problem since she's been able to settle there quickly in the past. I've tended to find that she settles worse when we've been around lots of other people, she just seems to get really energised in social settings and have a harder time turning off. But that hardly explains why she struggles to settle when it's just me and her at home, and it's no better when DS and DH are home too.

As I said she's only just dropped her morning nap, she got really tired when we were travelling over
Christmas so we kept it on a few days over that period, but have pretty much dropped it from the New
Year, and now her routine is roughly:

7am Up
12:15/12:30 Nap (2.5-3h at CM; takes ages to get off at home and does 1.5h)
3pm-ish Up for school run weekdays, may try to resettle for longer at weekend; may sleep until 3:30 on Wed at CM
6:30/7pm BT (usually more like 7pm on CM days; 6:30 on bad nap days as she can pull a 12.5h night; 6pm for 'emergency BT' as we call it - on days where we know that even 6:30 will result in lots of OT NWs and EW)
Nights: fairly good on CM days; on bad nap days she'll wake a few times in the early evening, often have a worse nw around 10/11pm and another a few hours later, often wakes early between 5-6:30 but always get her up at 7am.

When I'm working DH collects her from CM and I'm not able to get home to do her BT (inc bf) until around 6:20 so can get her down by 6:40 at the earliest. I usually work late on Thu so DH does BT, the earliest he can manage is around 6:20.

She seems to do best when she gets 15h TS at the moment; before dropping the nap when she was on a stable routine she'd do 14.5-15h, I'm expecting her to lean more towards 14-14.5h once she's sleeping more consistently, used to one nap and caught up on OT...whenever that may be ::) Phew she seems to have finally settled now after 45mins craziness :o no crying, just playing ::)

Sorry I'm rambling, any ideas on how to get her to settle at home as well as she does at the CM, would be wonderful :)



Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2016, 20:41:59 pm »
Hi, do you think it could be that she is just more stimulated at CM and therefore more tired? Have you tried her down a bit later at home see if it makes a difference for a few days?

FWIW we had the weirdest sleep from 16-20 months and could never figure it out...I always blamed development leaps and sleep regressions.x
Zoe


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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2016, 21:25:18 pm »
Thanks Zoe - problem is that when she's been around more people in a family context she has more problems settling, eg her naps after church have always been the worst, whether I make an effort to get home a bit earlier so she has longer to settle, or whether we get home later than planned. I always found that being around people would tire DS out more (as it does to me, both being introverts), but it's always seemed to have the opposite effect on DD, I guess that makes her an extrovert? It seems to make no difference whether we spend the whole morning playing at home or go out to the park or to a group or have friends/family round... But idk, there must be something!



Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2016, 21:29:37 pm »
Sorry Hun not much use to you...hopefully someone will pop on with an idea.
What does she do at CM? Is it always the same activity before nap etc x
Zoe


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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2016, 21:34:31 pm »
Oh sorry didn't just want to dismiss what you said out of hand, I just can't think of anything that it could be... But I will ask the CM what happens at/before nap time, she knows she doesn't nap so well at home. Part of me just wonders if it's just the 'usual' playing up for parents but not for those outside of the immediate family - yk, like older kids might behave really well at school but let it all out at home. Not sure what reason I'd give for that in DD's case though, perhaps she just kind of knows that she's expected to sleep at the CM's as the other children are also sleeping, but at home it's just her sleeping so...oh I don't know!



Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2016, 07:28:37 am »
I didn't think that sweetie, but yes I know what u mean about sleeping as the others do. My DS would lay down at nursery for a good 30 mins rest time but not a chance at home.
Thinking back we did have a phase of DS refusing a nap at home at this age, ended up letting him drop off on the sofa for a couple of days then went back to cot napping...
I'd prob just try her a little later at home then if she does an 1.5 hour nap it's not as long till BT. They do like to keep us guessing don't they!!  ::)
Zoe


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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2016, 14:34:23 pm »
Haha well today DH put her down and she settled immediately ;D ::) so perhaps it's just me ??? They certainly like to keep us guessing, don't they :P



Offline Haribo2012

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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2016, 15:23:59 pm »
Over to DH then for rest of the weekend u put your feet up  ;D
Zoe


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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2016, 17:51:57 pm »
Oh that's a good idea ;D shame DS had a noisy tantrum and disturbed her, she didn't sleep quite as long as I'd hoped but at least more than 1.5h, probably 2h, so I'll take that progress, just hope she can repeat that for me...



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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2016, 19:48:08 pm »
Yeah good nap really, hopefully s good night will follow.

Do u think she's playing u a bit? I don't mean that to sound harsh, but maybe she thinks she wants to be with you more x
Zoe


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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2016, 19:55:31 pm »
I don't think that sounds harsh :-* but since I don't actually go in to her at all whilst she's chatting away, I'm not sure why she would try to 'play me'? And I was here when DH put her down so if she wanted me she could have just done the same, no? Perhaps I'll put it all down to the SR after all? ;D



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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2016, 19:59:06 pm »
true, at least she's happy chatting in there and not crying for you. If DH is there at weekends then you only have 2 days where she might chat or short nap so not too bad I guess if it's SR.
Zoe


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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2016, 19:58:01 pm »
Yeah and amazingly DH put her down after church today and she went straight off again :D So now I just need to get him to come home from work around lunchtime twice a week :P Honestly, she hasn't settled for naps at home now since the beginning of the year ::) Well, we'll see what next week brings...



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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #13 on: January 17, 2016, 20:25:33 pm »
It's so frustrating when you spend your time trying and they resist but then are fine with others... ;)

Maybe she's turned a corner and you'll get her to nap on your days xx
Zoe


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Re: 19mo only settles well for naps with CM ???
« Reply #14 on: January 17, 2016, 23:52:11 pm »
Hope so :P