Miserable 15wk old - needs a routine, currently a Total mess!!

[StaceyandBeau]

Hi Everyone

I have a 7 year old & 15 week old.
Iv done all of this with my 7year old, knew everything inside out & it worked for him beautifully.

With my now 15 week old daughter, Iv forgotten the lot & we are struggling to find our feet let alone a pattern.

She is exclusively BF, won't take a bottle.
Not entirely fussed about feeding & will go anywhere from 2-4 hours. She doesn't snack, she takes full feeds. She is incredibly miserable a lot of the time because she is all over the place with eating & sleeping & I'm well aware I'm missing cue's & she's hungry when tired etc. Oh god it's a mess!!
I have to rock/walk her to sleep. And she feeds to sleep of a night.

I have absolutely no idea where to start or how to start.

Could someone point me in the direction of a couple of threads to read to start off? Xx 

[deb]

Can you post what you're doing now? What are the E, A, & S looking like on a "typical" day?

Have you done the personality test? Also, any chance of reflux? My first was a Touchy refluxer and it wasn't until she got diagnosed & treated (around 14-15 weeks, come to think of it) that we really made much headway on a schedule, because she hated being horizontal because of the reflux pain, so no real sleep on bed but solid sleep on ME.

[Scottishmummy]

Just offering support, my DD is the same age & recently feeds & naps have gone from being kind of predictable to all over the place. There's quite a lot of developmental stuff going on that throws them off around this time too.

I try to keep feeds around the same time each day & BT at the same time, which helps give a consistent wake up time & therefore also same time for first nap. The other naps are pretty variable though depending on what we're doing & if we get a short or long nap.

[StaceyandBeau]

Thanks for your replies 😊
No 2 days are the same for us ever. I thought I'd wing it & let her demand feed. She will now go from 3-4 hours between feeds. Yes we do have silent reflux, but Iv cut out dairy & have bought the Clevamumma Sleep wedge for out snuzpod so she will sleep happily in there of a night.

Yesterday looked like this:

E- 4.55am
S -
A - 7:30 up for the day
S - 9:15 - 12.30
E - 12:35 (15 mins)
A - 12:50
S. -14:30 - 16:00
E - 17:00
S - 19:00 - 19:24
E - 19:30 - 20:00
Awake then until 10:30 when she is exhausted & fed to sleep upstairs in bed.
Slept until 5am has just fed.

Each day is different, . I know they have a sleep regression about 4 months & with all these developmental leaps it's not the right time to start this but we have an evening of screaming due to tiredness most of the time & it's not fair on her.

By 11pm she is exhausted & will always want to be asleep by then. How do I swing this round??

Where is personality test?

Thanks ladies xx

[becj86]

A - 7:30 up for the day S - 9:15 - 12.30

^ This here, I reckon is probably shifting her night - Short(ish) A time followed by 3hr nap is making up for the hours spent up and crying in the evening.

E - 12:35 (15 mins) A - 12:50 S. -14:30 - 16:00

This here is a bit more reasonable and probably the real start to her day.

S. -14:30 - 16:00E - 17:00S - 19:00 - 19:24

This 3hr A time is followed by an OT short nap and she's then OT through the evening and difficult to settle and too wired to sleep, is that about how your evening goes?

Temperament quiz: The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"

What I'd suggest is to push that first A time to 2hr and cap that first nap at 2hr. What you're trying to do is make the morning feel like morning and the start of her day. She will have a hard time of it the first day or two as you've basically chopped her night in half but as she settles into a routine there, it should start to come good. A routine that makes sense based on what you've written so far is something like this:
7 - WU, feed
9 - nap
11 - wake, feed
1 - nap
2:30/3 - wake, feed
4:30/5 - nap
5:15/5:45 - wake, feed
6:45/7 - asleep in bed

[StaceyandBeau]

I know yesterday was a mess right!!

Ok so today has gone totally differently:

Awake - 7:20
Fed her despite her waking for a feed at 5am. Not sure if that was right.only fed for about 3mins!
A - for 1hr 10mins
S - 8:30 - 9:15
NOT HUNGRY AT THIS POINT SO WE PLAYED.
E - 10am
A played for a bit
S - 10:45

So she's had a 1hr10m awake time & a 1hr30min awake time.

Now Iv read your advice I will start tomorrow as you suggested with a 2hr awake time. It makes complete sense to me

Yes our evenings are awful, she will either pass out through crying, feed to sleep eventually at about 11. So I desperately need to swing it round. Feel so sorry for my 7year old who wants mummy time x

[StaceyandBeau]

And that was a 45 min nap! Xx

[grace annes mommy]

Just following along!  My DD2 just turned 4 mos.  It's a tricky age, huh?  Also, my DD1 is 7 years old.    Probably won't be a huge help but can empathize with you.

[becj86]

Awake - 7:20 Fed her despite her waking for a feed at 5am. Not sure if that was right.only fed for about 3mins! A - for 1hr 10mins S - 8:30 - 9:15

I would feed at the beginning of the day - tops up if she fed late in the night and also sets up for feeding after waking which helps build the predictability for her. It should then carry her through the A time and nap to have a good feed in 3.5hr or so.

Keep us posted

[deb]

Are you trying a dreamfeed? We had to implement one to get rid of that 5AM waking, which was setting Josie up to be OT already on waking for the day at 6-7AM. After a week or so she stopped taking the DF, but by then the pattern was broken. Also, sending DH in for that first waking to re-plug the pacifier/soother/dummy instead of me (who smelled like milk LOL) seemed to help get her settled more easily.