Help with 5 week old's naps

[Josi2015]

I would really appreciate some help with my five week old's naps as she will pretty much only sleep during the day if being held.

At night she settles quite well in her cot (after a late feed at 10 or 11pm) and often sleeps long enough to only have one feed overnight. Daytime sleep is very different though.

The first nap of the day, she usually settles in the cot ok but will almost always wake 50 minutes into the nap. I have started to pre-empt this and can sometimes stop her waking by putting a hand on her chest but often she still wakes anyway. I can usually settle her quite quickly at this point and she will then sometimes sleep in the cot until she is due the next feed.

After this naps get progressively worse through the day. She becomes less and less able to settle in the cot and will often wake almost immediately on being put down. When she wakes, I will settle her and put her back in the cot and I will usually do this once or twice per nap. After this I will usually hold her so that she is at least getting some sleep. By the evening, she is quite fussy and will generally only settle if being held. She sleeps quite well while being cuddled but not at all in the cot.

We have been trying to follow EASY since she was born and, although days vary slightly, she is on approximately 3 hour cycles (sometimes slightly longer, sometimes shorter).

She has always been a sleepy eater so I tend to change her nappy mid feed to wake her up. This means that our E and A are mixed in together but in total she tends to get one hour of awake time per cycle before I settle her for sleep.

We are using a wind-down ritual for every nap which involves swaddling, dimming the lights, singing a lullaby, putting white noise on and shush pat. She is usually fairly easy to settle (less so in the evenings) but just doesn't stay asleep unless she is being held. We have tried putting her into the cot drowsy but awake a few times but she hasn't gone to sleep and we haven't done it consistently as I just don't have the energy at this stage.

Also, we are following the official UK advice to keep babies under 6 months in the same room as you for all sleep. This means I'm spending a lot of my time in the dark with white noise on, which is driving me slightly crazy! All the more so seeing as it is not actually keeping her asleep!

Some of her daytime naps are in the same Moses basket as she uses in our room at night and some are in the pram bassinet downstairs. I don't understand why she won't sleep in the Moses basket/bassinet during the day when she will sleep for reasonable stretches in the basket overnight.

I'm finding it exhausting holding her so much of the time and we also want to encourage good sleeping habits. Any tips as to how to tackle this would be very much appreciated. I would also be interested to hear how people deal with having their baby sleep in the same room as them during the day without living like a hermit in the dark all the time! Thank you!

[lauradj]

Hello and welcome!  Honestly hon, her naps sound pretty much spot on.  You're very fortunate she's sleeping so well at night, it really does help you get through the day. 
Regarding the slow digression of nap quality, that's also really normal.  There's a reason 5-7pm used to be called the arsenic hours    It's great that you can resettle her.  What I would recommend is popping your LO into a baby carrier or her stroller for one of her naps so you can get outside for some fresh air, while allowing her to nap.  I know you want to do EASY by the book but when they're this little, it's important that they sleep AND that you don't go bonkers trying to make that happen.  It's a delicate balance. 

[Josi2015]

Thanks lauradj, it's really reassuring to know that what my LO is doing is normal. I tried the baby carrier for one nap yesterday and it was great to have my hands free for a couple of hours! I think that will definitely help me cope with all the holding. My one question is, at what age do you think it is a good idea to start trying harder to get her to sleep in her cot more rather than being held/sleeping in the carrier? I'm torn between what makes life easier now and wanting to form good habits for later on. Thanks!

[lauradj]

Honestly, you can get away with lots of accidental parenting until about 3/4 months.  Pretty anything can be undone with time and patience.  However I'm willing to bet that your LO will start sleeping better as she gets older.  There's a reason the first three months are called the fourth trimester!  I used to wear my DS2 all the time for the last nap of the day so I could make dinner and he'd nap.  Then when he got older (4+) his morning nap was the one on the go as I have a toddler as well.  Sometimes I still wear him for his morning CN if we're out and about.  Whatever helps in that present situation.   

[Josi2015]

Thanks lauradj, really appreciate the reassurance 

[shinysarah]

Helloooo,
I just wanted to share...my 5 week lo has just started the 45 minute nap cycle and it brings back terror  because my DS1 was the king of cat naps and it drove me crazy and actually made me very unhappy as well and when I look back, I wish that I wasn't so focused on getting a routine, schedule, sleep in basket etc...so this time, I'm going to do what I can to a. keep my sanity and b. keep my daughter asleep!!  Whether this be swing, pram, basket and really try not to get to caught up on it.
 I spent more time getting my DS1 back to sleep than I did anything else and what I've learnt is that when he wanted to start sleeping in his cot/basket for longer than 45 minutes, he did.  I was so worried about AP and props that I tied myself up in knots.  I now take one day at a time, deep breathes and accept that each day will be different and if I'm lucky, it'll all go to plan. 

I would say that my DD has some naps in her basket, some in car, some in pram and the for the witching hour (cap nap before bed where I try to keep my anxiety levels low  !!) she either naps in the car or the swing and sometimes it'll go great and she'll nap for a good hour to get her through to bath/bedtime and other times it won't and I'll end up carrying her around with me...

Just wanted to share and say that it's all normal and everyone on here is amazing and will share with you because it's hard!!!! But, it is only a moment in time!!!
Hope that helps! Sarah x

[Josi2015]

Hi Sarah, thanks so much for sharing your experience- it's very reassuring to know that it's all normal and I'm not alone!

I know what you mean about focussing on getting a routine making you unhappy - I do feel like things are harder because I'm worrying a lot about whether I'm doing the right thing and about accidental parenting.

On that note, I feel like I should be starting to put my LO down to sleep drowsy but awake rather than cuddling her to sleep as I currently do. At what age did you/would you start to do this? It feels like it would be a lot of work at this age and I don't want to put us both through it if she would actually respond better when she is a little older, but if it is better to start asap then I should stop putting it off!

Thanks again for your help!

[shinysarah]

Hiii,
When I can, I watch for her sleepy phase to start-the yawning, rubbing her face, heavy eyelids and I try to put her down and sometimes it works but sometimes I do cuddle until she's almost dropped and then put her down depending on the day.  But, today for example I've watched for all her sleep signals, put her down and she just wouldn't have it and then had a 45 minute nap so even when you try to do it right-sometimes it doesn't work!!!! 
Maybe give it a try a few times to see how you get on and take it from them there...but I would say that they're still v young an even today I tied myself up in knots because it all fell to pieces. So I'm going to breathe and try again!
Good luck!!

[Josi2015]

Thanks Sarah. Sounds like you're doing a great job so I hope you're not tying yourself in knots. As you say, they're still so young - deep breaths and trying again is very good advice.
Definitely something I need to do this week! Good luck X

[shinysarah]

Good days and bad days!!! It'll all work out I'm sure!!
Lots of luck to you!!!