4 mos. - short naps

[grace annes mommy]

Ugh, help!!!  As a rule of thumb, Josie is not a great napper.  Now we've hit what I'm guessing is the dreaded 4 month sleep regression/growth spurt and all is haywire!  On good days, I was APing to get at least one good nap.  Now that's not even working.  I'm feeling down and stuck just trying to get her to sleep and pumping all day (she gets bottles of bm and is drinking in the middle of the night.  It's impossible to keep up with).  I had a post in the EASY forum but it didn't get many eyes. Maybe I posted in the wrong place since we need more than a routine tweak, really.  She pretty much can't nap past the 40 minute mark so I'm struggling with A times and figuring out OT/UT all day.  Then she's hard to settle for bed.  Any thoughts would be so appreciated!!!

[Conniesmummy]

I'm sorry I won't be any help but I am going through exactly the same with my little girl!
Having some major ot bedtimes, not pleasant 
Won't nap past 30-40 mins, especially out and about and not even in the car or pram anymore 

[grace annes mommy]

Thanks, conniesmummy for chiming in! And hugs!  This 4 month regression is no joke... I'm exhausted.  J had a good week or 2 of STTN, now we're back to NFs.  And naps are ridiculous.  20 to 40 mins max.  By the time I get her settled and get started doing something, she's awake again!  Then BT rolls around and I'm done but it takes forever to settle her.  Uuuughhh!  Good thing she's so darn cute.   

[Conniesmummy]

Being cute does help a little, but it is very exhausting!!

[grace annes mommy]

Help! How should I try to extend her naps?  I used to be able to AP to extend at least 1 long nap but now that's not even working!  She had her 4 mos. shots today.  You'd think she'd be exhausted! Nope!  Just woke up after 40 mins.  Tried patting her back to sleep, even rocking her.  Now she's smiling at me. 

[Conniesmummy]

I know exactly that feeling, I've even been lying down with my daughter just so she'll nap. We decided to try again for cot naps and the morning one worked, sun and mon mornings,  2 hour nap both days. Not this morning, she woke after 30 mins exactly then shuffled herself up the cot and buried herself in the teddy bears then decided to play with them. I waited half an hour before I lifted her and Co slept for an hour! She still got ot and had a meltdown at group to the extent we had to leave!
I feel like we are never going to be able to go anywhere for fear of no naps and meltdowns 

[grace annes mommy]

I can completely relate!  Feeling really bogged down never knowing when she's going to nap...  This afternoon I was finally able to shh/pat her to extend a nap.  I had to pick her up a few times but it wasn't terrible.  I'm sure she's just completely exhausted from shots and not having a proper nap in DAYS!  She definitely has no clue how to sleep thru the cycle or thru light sleep.  How can I help her with this I wonder.  Now of course it's approaching 5pm and I'm wondering if I should wake her soon....

[Conniesmummy]

It's awful isn't it? 
I'm completely misreading cues all the time, then I think I'm forcing a nap when she's not tired, I'm in an ot/ut trap!!
My mum just says, 'oh she will sleep if she's tired'!!!
No mum, she doesn't then the day rolls on and she gets crankier and crankier and then bedtime is awful 
It doesn't help that I've got pnd and anxiety. It is better than it was since the medication has started to work, but still not nice. I feel like I'm trapped in my own head trying to fathom out baby sleep!!

[becj86]

Hey, just found your thread and came to HH

I vaguely recall you had ~2:15 A time and she was still doing a 45min nap which we agree is an IS/4mo regression thing. How are you getting her to sleep in the first place? Ideally she'd be in the same place and you'd sneak in around 40min and just watch. If/when she stirs, you'd then just do what you were doing when she fell asleep and that should help her get through to the next sleep cycle.

I know with L I went through a stage of holding his arms and legs still because he would thrash his whole body around and wake himself up.

[grace annes mommy]

Thanks for chiming in, Bec!  Yes, our A times have been anywhere from 1;45 to 2;15 plus all with 40 min naps so I agree, it's an IS issue.  I've just moved her into her crib from the rock n play a couple days ago and she's adjusted just fine.  I had been rocking her for all sleeps, so when I moved her to the crib I started trying to give her the opportunity to self settle.  She's doing pretty well.  I've been rocking her til she's extremely calm and still, then slowly putting her in her crib.  If she starts squirming, I use shh/pat.  If she's upset, I pick her up then put her down and shh/pat.  Does this sound OK?  She does use a paci to fall asleep though...  Possibly an issue?  I was wondering about this when I kept replugging it and shh/patting when I finally got a decent nap this afternoon.  Also, she is still swaddled.  Her ped said today I need to wean her out of the swaddle now that she's rolling.  Also, I think it could help her with self soothing but when I tried last, she was jolting all over the place.  THoughts on when and how?  DD1 is off school bc of snow this week, so I may just have to do the best I can with resettling.  But when she goes back, I could try to hang out in J's room for some naps and see if I can catch her before she wakes up.  That's the idea, right?

Hugs, conniesmummy.  I think I had pnd with DD1 that wasn't diagnosed.  I found my head spinning with A times and staring at the monitor.  Going out stressed me out so much!  Now that my DD1 is 7 and I've seen the whole babyhood fly by, I do have a different perspective this time and have tried not to sweat the small stuff.  This transition, however, I'm finding really challenging! So I really feel for you and how you're feeling.

[becj86]

Little miss Josephine is going to be a go-getter!

You could try one arm out for a while, I basically unswaddled L and just put my arms across his body, one on his arms and one on his legs to hold him still and sang to him. He wasn't upset, just had really big jolts when going to sleep, still has them now but not so hard for him because he's used to it. Would you try a tight sheet tucked in across her, rather than a swaddle?

She's had the paci a while, hasn't she? Do you think its an issue? For us, the dummy was never the source of the issue, so we kept it but if you're going to unswaddle, you might as well take the paci away if you think its part of the problem. Maybe give it a few days and see if you're really having to replug that much to get her to transition.

She's doing pretty well.  I've been rocking her til she's extremely calm and still, then slowly putting her in her crib.  If she starts squirming, I use shh/pat.  If she's upset, I pick her up then put her down and shh/pat.  Does this sound OK?

Sounds fine to me

[grace annes mommy]

With the swaddle - I'll try doing an arm out and see how that goes.  Good idea!  Last night she managed to wiggle herself horizontal down the bed.  Part of me feels like unswaddling will just encourage her to start rolling all over the crib!

I'll keep an eye on the paci.  Yes, she's had it since day 1!  At 1 hour old, the NICU was dipping it in sugar water for her...  She doesn't typically use it for night sleep.  I got her one of those wubbanubs and she's actually not far from being able to replug herself with it so maybe it won't be an issue.  We'll watch it.

J finally had a better night last night, so maybe we're coming thru to the other side soon.  Didn't wake for a feed til 4:30.  I on the other hand was awake off and on since 3am.  Mommys get OT too I guess!

Feel like I need to get my DD1 out of the house today, so we'll see how it goes!

[becj86]

Last night she managed to wiggle herself horizontal down the bed.  Part of me feels like unswaddling will just encourage her to start rolling all over the crib!

DS was like that, never in the same place I put him, always wriggling in the night but slept fine. Once they're used to it, its not an issue. He still wriggles and can be found sideways or upsidedown in his bed most mornings.

[grace annes mommy]

Well, I actually couldn't get the car out so we had another day at home.  I definitely made some progress with naps and J basically had the 'perfect' 4 hr EASY minus all the resettling.  Naps 9:10 to 11, 1 to 3:10, catnap 5:20 to 5:40, bt 7:30ish and I only had to resettle her once.  It actually kind of makes me chuckle bc DD1 never in her life even had one day that looked like a decent EASY routine.  I'm thinking baby J must have at least a streak of textbook in her the way she's hitting these WWs and regressions right on time.  Of course we can't recreate this tomorrow as there's a 2 hour delay at school so I'll need to drop off DD1 at 10am and pick her up at 3:45.  Thus goes the life of the 2nd child.  I'm thinking maybe a catnap in the a.m. and try for a long midday nap?  Or at least I'll try.

With the resettling - I was able to do a lot of it with shh/pat.  I tried catching her before she fully woke, but no luck.  Really, she was already starting to wake at the 30 min mark.  Then it took about 30 to 45 minutes of shh/pat off and on to get her thru the light sleep.  She really struggles there and I was patting and patting and basically forcing her paci in her mouth.  Also had to pick her up a few times.  Hopefully she'll learn to make it thru on her own eventually? 

Thinking I'll hold off with the swaddle transition til we get a better routine flowing.  At least then I'll know what she needs to make up if she has a hard time with it.

Curious to see what kind of night we have after those naps.  She hasn't had that much day sleep in ages.  Hopefully sleep begets sleep here!

[becj86]

Hopefully so!