DH does the church nap and it takes him awhile but she still does it. She did sleep well last night, went to bed 7:15 and woke at 6am this morning. So she did a short nap at church and I woke her after 2 hr nap this afternoon. She went to bed pretty super easy tonight!!!!! Dh said he just lay her down, pat her for a minute and left. She didn't even fuss once. just went off to sleep all on her own! amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks so much for all your help. I suspect there is still work to be done but we are at least establishing something. (of course there is still work, always there is something)