I just wanted to pop in and say you're not alone. Wet just wenT through some similar stuff with our almost 9.5 month old. Keep in mind there is a sleep regression around 8 month. I was trying to adjust things and his night wakings went crazy. They went back to normal after 2 weeks. We are now dropping night feeds. I'm choosing the feed and nurse for a minute less every few nights. He's doing great. I've accepted the 5am feed will be the last to go.
We also offer a bottle (or sippy cup) of ebm frequently throughout the day, with solids, in between feeds. My first was a major snacker, so are myself and husband, so I don't mind I'd I created a snacking habit! I try to pound the calories into him. Last night was our first night ever he slept through some feeds, woke at 5, feed, and asleep again until 7:30. I hope I can repeat this!!
You'll get there too. It's not quick unfortunately but you'll make it.
Anyways, just wanted to offer my support as we are in very similar boats! Goodluck