Help with 6 month old

[vanessa c]

Hello!  I need help with my 6 month old. I currently hold him to sleep for all naps and bedtime then lay him down. I'm going back to work in one month and will be having a nanny start. I'd like to get him to go to sleep on his own. Lately it's been getting harder to lay him down, he will wake and I need to resettle. He is not the best napper...only takes 30 mins naps (my older son did this as well regardless of what I tried to do to change this). He actually cries often...I can only put him down for like 5 minutes at a time before he starts crying to be held. I am looking for some suggestions on how to get him to go to sleep on his own without having to do cry it out. I have a 3 year old at home with me as well.  Thanks in advance!

[Martini~]

Hi Honey! Do you have any routine right now? Could you post it?
Hold on there, we will help:)

[vanessa c]

We loosely have a routine. I go by whenever he wakes in the morning. For example today looked like this:

Asleep from 7:30pm-1:30am

1:30am woke-4 ounce bottle (had to hold back to sleep...I used to be able to lay him right back down and he'd put himself back to sleep)
5:30am woke- 4 ounce bottle, fell back to sleep in bed with me ( tried his crib first)
7 am wake up
7:30 2 tbsp cereal
9:00 30 min nap
930 4 ounce bottle
1130 30 min nap
1230 4 ounce bottle
200 30 min nap
230 2 tbsp cereal
400 30 min nap
430 4 ounce bottle
600 2 tbsp cereal
700 bath get ready for bed
730 4 ounce bottle
Asleep by 7:45/8pm

On average the times may change a bit but for the most part his day looks like this.

[Martini~]

Have you tried doing PUPD or Gradual Withdrawal for settling for naps? At that age independent settling skills are important if you want to have a longer nap.
Re routine it probably needs changing, as at 6mo probably the first nap shouldn't be earlier than 9:30am with a 7am wakeup. And for many kiddos it's not going to work and you would have to work towards even longer A times.

[vanessa c]

I haven't tried anything for naps... I am willing to try though...I'm just not sure which is best. I have a 3 year old at home too by myself so it's not the easiest to spend a ton of time trying to get him to settle and to sleep. What method is best to use?  I'm willing to tweak the schedule...some days he does have longer A times, but other days he is not able to last...

[Martini~]

If it's after short nap it's understandable he cannot last.

I am on my phone so it's difficult to quote but if you go for sleep FAQ which is a separate board you will find there many useful links. PUPD - pick up put down is a Tracy's method recommended for kids over 4mo and means that you console your child in your hands and briefly and you then put him down. And over and over until child gets that's mummy is there always but he will have to settle in his own crib. It can means a lot of crying but you are there so not to lose your baby's trust. Gradual withdrawal is about leaving your baby in his crib and consoling baby inside but assisting as much as you can without in your arms. And than when baby settles soundly in the crib you just decrease your support for settling day by day until he can go to sleep independently. Does it sounds ok for you?

[vanessa c]

Hmmm...I'm not sure what would be best for us. I feel like both can mean a lot of crying which I have a hard time doing, knowing I can just hold him and calm him. He's been doing a little better over night the last few nights.

Last night he slept 730-230, briefly woke at 530 and I put him on his side and he went back to sleep. Then he woke at 7:15. It's 910 now and he's falling asleep in my arms. It's real hard to get him to stay up past the 2 hour mark in the morning. All naps after that it's easier but if his morning nap is short it's hard as well. Any suggestions on how to get him to stay up later for the morning nap?

I'm thinking I might try gradual withdrawal for the settling..:.

[Martini~]

Be very gradual Honey for the A time. Do it step by step every 10min for 3-4 days and you will get there. Even 9:15 would be a nice target. If morning nap is short go for 2.5h A once again. so the schedule would be more like:
7am WU
9:15/9:30 a nap till 10:00
12:30 next nap - and this one I would encourage you to try to extend as establishing good sleep in the middle of the day can be really valuable
Depending how much he slept offer another short nap (45-15min) in the afternoon and aim for 7pm BT.

Re GW - I prefer it myself. Crying won't be long Honey, don't worry. And your LO can really surprise you:). The case with settling in your arms is obvious, but if he will calm down only in your arms, he will be waking at night and needing the same actions from your side. At 6mo it's probably not such a prop, but within weeks it may be worse and worse as the independent settling skills are becoming more important at that age.

[vanessa c]

Thank you for the feedback...I will start asap!  For extending the nap...how would I go about this?  I was really hoping at the 6 month mark he would just start sleeping longer for one nap as my first baby did, but this has not been the case. How do you extend a nap? With my first baby (prior to the 6 month mark) I would just hold him back to sleep. This is not always practical with a 3 year old as well..

[Martini~]

Settling him in his crib may help extending naps as when he wakes after 1 sleep cycle he will be able to go back to sleep if the "settling environment" is the same so if he settles for the nap in a crib, it's more probably that he will resettle by himself when he wakes after 40-45min.
You can also help him by shh/pat during the transition period at 45' mark (go into the rom at let's say 37' and shhh until 50') for couple of days until he "gets" the idea of a longer nap. You can also go for w2s (wake to sleep) when you rouse him gently but not wake around 25-30min so he is starting a new cycle. Some are very successful with w2s method but others say it's not working as you can wake your baby even earlier than normal which is obviously not the goal:)!

[vanessa c]

Ok, today I have been successful with my lo falling asleep on his own in his crib for his first 2 naps. And his first one was an hour and 20 mins!  My question is, this Saturday he is staying at my parents. I am not sure if my mom will be able to get him to fall asleep independently. If she does not...is this going to set us back? Or as long as I keep working on it, will he be ok?

[Martini~]

Congratluations Honey:)!!! Yay for a long nap:)!

Difficult to say re settling by your mum, but if it happens, it happens - so don't worry and go with the flow. The worse what can happen, he will need more of your assistance later but you will get there, maybe just with 1-2 days of delay.