Author Topic: 14 month old refuses to sleep through the night  (Read 861 times)

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Offline mama.rina

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14 month old refuses to sleep through the night
« on: February 02, 2016, 12:15:50 pm »
It seems like no matter what I try my daughter just can NOT sleep through the night. Sleep has been a issue. I always get her to bed between 8 and 9 pm, but like tonight, she woke up just about every hour till 11:30, then I spent from 11:30 to 1:30 with her rolling around on my lap trying to get comfy, rocking her, bouncing her. & I FINALLY got some time to myself, I went to sleep. But Now its 3:30 am & shes up AGAIN! I even made a point to wake her up early this morning (8 am as apposed to her normal 10-10:30 am wake up time). Yesterday I got her up at almost 11am & she was up 3 times before finally going down for the night at 12am.

I've tried everything.
Feeding her more food.
Before bed snacks.
cry it out
waking her up earlier
putting her to bed later
 

I am so tired, my boyfriend does NOTHING to help, all her doctor says is "You need to let her cry it out"
But I wanna trt other options FIRST.


PLEASE HELP!!!
IM SOOOOOOOO TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Last Edit: February 02, 2016, 15:41:35 pm by Martini~ »

Offline Emami

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Re: 14 month old refuses to sleep through the night
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2016, 21:13:49 pm »
What is her routine like during the day? When does she nap (once or twice and how long for)?  How do you get her to sleep? It doesn't sound like she's ever been able to go to sleep on her own? Do her late starts and late BT suit you or would you prefer to work towards an earlier day? Sorry for all the questions but it will help to figure out a way forward.

Also please don't let her CIO. You said that you want to try other options first, but also that you've already done CIO, so I'm not sure if you've left her or not. But it's not something we support at BW, there are gentler ways to sleep train and also maintain trust with your baby. There will still be crying , but you can help your LO through it and they know you are there for them.
Emma






Offline mama.rina

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Re: 14 month old refuses to sleep through the night
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2016, 01:57:14 am »
Honestly Her schedule is all over the place.

She has a "typical day" but no "schedule"

We wake her up between 8 and 10:30 am
then we change her diaper
then when she gets fussy (about 30 - 60 mins later) we feed her breakfast (with sippy practice)
then we play (started doing head solders knees and toes!)
then she gets a snack
whenever she gets fussy again about 30 - 60 mins later she gets a snack
then diaper change
then 9 oz baba of milk & nap time, I only let her sleep for a hour.
Her naps are anywhere between 12pm and 2pm (so example, if she gets up at 8, her nap will be at 12, and she will sleep till 1 when I wake her up)
Then it's wake up time
diaper change
wait till shes fussy and feed her lunch with sippy,
then snack time.
then play play play play play
between 6 and 8 pm is dinner
bath is between 7 and 9
Before bed snack
sometimes I get her to bed at 8 sometimes its 9

But she doesn't sleep for long, the night before last I got her up at 10:45 am
did the usual thing, and she was in bed at 8:30, and woke up 3 times before finally passing out for the night at 12 pm.


We're trying something new, figured the only things that really matter are what time she wakes up (because if that's a consistant time, so is nap time) and our bed time routine.

I did not know you guys didn't support CIO, I did try it, one time, did the walk in, walk out, and walking in and walking out made it MUCH MUCH MUCH WORSE. I lasted maybe 30 mins, and I was like "I can't do this" and caved in.

But your right, I wanna try everything else I can...


When we put her to bed, she lays across my lap (like a baby baby) with a baba in her mouth, and passes out while shes's eating, then when she's done, I rock her all the way to sleep, and transfer her. When she crys at night, I get up, I go get her, and the process repeats. Sometimes she fights going to sleep, she will LOOK asleep, but the SECOND I stand up, or the SECOND i'm standing right next to her crib, her face goes from sleepy and eyes closed, to  O____O EYES WIDE OPEN like she just drank a cup of coffee, and she's looking around.

Later starts work best for me, I'd prefer her to be in bed and asleep at 9 pm though, no matter the cost!
Even if I have to get up at 6 am.

She's passed out on her own before, but only 1 or 2 times, and with a baba in her mouth, after me refusing to feed her her baba, i'd sit it on the floor, and told her if she was hungry, she'd eat. And she did, and she passed out. Haven't seen her do it sense, and this was months ago.


all the questions are great, ask anything and everything you need to ask!!!
I NEED to figure this out.



Today we did things a bit different,
We did everything as usual, but we're doing bed time different.
1 hour before dinner, (5pm) we walked around the house, and said "Good night" to everything and hand over hand had her turn off the lights in each room. (If it was a off light, i'd  turn it on first, then turn it off and say I would say good night (room!) see you in the morning!"

Now we have light mellow music on. All the lights are off.

When we go to put her to bed, we're going to do the normal, 6 pm dinner, 7 pm bath, then baba, and instead of rocking her fully to sleep, im going to go put her in her crib, and daddy and I are going to sit on her floor and take turns reading books.

( I did a LOT of reading on this site last night while I was up with her trying to get her to sleep all the way, got both ideas for nini room, and sitting in her room (both of us) from this site!!)

Hope I answered all your questions, I am looking forward to your reply!!!!!

Offline Emami

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Re: 14 month old refuses to sleep through the night
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2016, 21:54:04 pm »
OK, so I think there are 2 main issues that are stopping her from sleeping well.
1) She doesn't know how to do it herself. It is totally normal to wake at night, but most of us just go back to sleep and don't need help to do it.  But when your LO wakes she needs input from you again because that's what she's used to and it's how she fell asleep in the first place.
2) I think she is probably OT from only getting 1hr nap during the day. Is there a reason you wake her after an hour? Most babies this age (depending where they fall on the high to low ends of sleep needs) would be getting a 1.5 - 2.5hr nap plus a 10.5 - 12hr night.  Having a build up of OT could definitely make it harder for her to settle and stay asleep. So if you like a late start and want her in bed by 9 your day could look something like this:
WU 8:30
Nap 1:30-3:30
BT 9:00

What you said about CIO actually sounds like you were doing walk in / walk out, which is not the same thing as leaving your baby to cry for an indefinite amount of time, or controlled crying where you only go in at set intervals.  It's a BW method as you are offering reassurance as often as your baby needs it. However, it is generally a method that works better with LOs who have been independent sleepers but have gone off track for whatever reason.  As you found, I don't think this would be right for your daughter as she is going to have to learn how to get herself to sleep. You might find gradual withdrawal is a better approach.  It takes a lot of patience and there will still be crying as she gets used to it, but you are here with her helping her.

Have a look and see what you think
Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)
Emma






Offline mama.rina

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Re: 14 month old refuses to sleep through the night
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2016, 23:24:52 pm »
What is this websites feelings about co-sleeping?

I tried the gradual withdrawl not last night but the night before (2.2.16) and I sang a to her for 2 hours before I caved and got in her crib with her, it took no more than 5 mins and she was OUT. so I had my boyfriend help me out of her crib, she slept for a hour, and so I did the same thing and went and got in her crib. 5 mins, she was out.

so, after the 2nd time she woke up, and a lot of convincing of her father, I brought her into our room and she slept next to me. She has been waking  up to eat, I think that if I co sleep with her long enough for me to ween her off the baba at night, she might wake up less. She wakes up and sits up and starts looking for a bottle (which I keep a premade one near by)

I figured, she should be walking in 2-3 months, and when she is I can convert her crib to a toddler bed, and handle the sleeping alone thing then?

Start with co sleeping to help with weening off her baba?

What do you think? :|

Offline Emami

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Re: 14 month old refuses to sleep through the night
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2016, 19:54:57 pm »
Hi, sorry I haven't replied for a few days. I have some 15mo sleep issues myself over here and have pretty much lost my evenings at the moment!  How has it been going? Are you continuing to co-sleep?

There isn't particularly a BW 'stance' on co-sleeping. Technically I guess it's not encouraged as the books focus on independent sleep in LO'so own space, but equally one of the main principles of BW is torespect and respond to your baby's individual needs. So co-sleeping isn't a problem unless it's a problem if that makes sense.  If it works for all of you then by all means do whatever gets you the best sleep!

But, if you do want to get her sleeping by herself in her own bed it might be easier to do it sooner rather than later. Personally I would persevere with the cot as she's pretty young to be thinking about a bed. Works for some, but IMO if she is in a bed and able to get out it's adding a load of extra issues into the mix.

If you decide to go down the GW route out will need to be consistent and stick to it. You can't really tell much from one   night, you'd need to give some time and expect some bumps in the road.  I also think whether you co-sleep or not the bottle should be gone. At her age she doesn't need it for hunger or nutrients, and it's really bad for her teeth to keep falling asleep with it in her mouth.
Emma