We need help

[Lindsay27]

She does seem to respond okay to it as that it what I do to resettle her and she does drift off, she just doesn't stay asleep lol . It will come, it will come

[lily_layne]

Sorry - I've been away a few days. How's the battle?

[Lindsay27]

Still fighting the good fight lol

She did 45mins in her crib this morning and I was watching the monitor so I could catch her at the first sign of her waking to hopefully resettle but of course I went to put a load of laundry in and that's when she woke . I tried to settle in the crib with no luck so I rocked her for the rest of the nap.

2nd nap we were slightly over her A time (1.5hrs) because I had to run errands and she did a 30min nap in the crib, so likely OT.  Tried to resettle again and she was just hateful so I stopped and just got her up and she had a short 45min-ish A time but was very happy, then I fed her.  I'm sick right now so after the feed I just laid down with her for the next nap bc I was not well myself and I knew she'd nap good so we napped together for 2hrs.

Day was like...
NF 1am & 5:45am
WU 8am

E 8:15
A
S 9:25-10:10 (in crib) then 10:25-11 (rocked)

E 11am
A
S 12:30-1pm (in crib)

A
E 1:45
S 2pm-4pm (with me co-sleeping)

A
E 5pm
S 5:30-6 (in wrap while I made dinner)

A
E 7pm
S 7:30, down for the night

So, this is actually one of the better days we've had.  That's sad I know, but at least for the first half of the day we had an EAS pattern, and while the naps are short we are still getting some sleep in the crib.

[Lindsay27]

And tonight at BT I rocked her until she was drowsy and put her in her bassinet awake and she self settled . She's a champ at BT though so I'm not entirely surprised.  I think I will keep trying that at BT to try to promote the SS.

[grace annes mommy]

Yes, go with whichever sleep is easiest to introduce SS.  That's great she did well at bt.

At this age, I did whatever I needed to do to get that 2 - 4pm nap (usually in the ergo).  That set us up for the catnap and bt.  If the rest of the day was all over, I managed to stay sane as long as I could juggle it to get that 2ish nap.  Eventually, she was able to do that nice nap in her crib bc her clock was set for it.  (That all went out the window at 4mos, but it was nice while it lasted.  )

[Lindsay27]

Ugh ladies, I am just beyond knowing what to do.  Yesterday she napped 30mins all day.  That's it.  By 5pm I was at my breaking point.

Today is looking no different, I just can't understand it.  She drifts off beautifully, I have her in a tight swaddle, dark room, white noise...I put her in her crib and she seems like she's asleep, but about 5mins later she wakes up.  I don't know why.  Never mind short naps I just can't even get her down at all now.  And she'll just flop around and squirm for a while and then start crying eventually.

I was doing a 1.20 A time this morning, and she fell asleep no problem...she just can't stay asleep.  I don't get it at all, I'm so frustrated.  Even when I do shh/pat she'll drift back off, but then jolt awake despite the swaddle and me holding her arms in the crib.  I just can't have a repeat of yesterday or I will legitimately lose my mind.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Sounds like you need a break! What about sling naps all day, watching to see when she goes to sleep? It might help with working out her A times.

[Lindsay27]

She just doesn't really nap well/at all in the sling.  She might drift off for a bit but won't stay down for long, yesterday I couldn't get her to sleep in it at all.   I think we have a rocking prop and I would just be changing one prop for another, and given she's 11 weeks old now I certainly don't think that it's unreasonable to really begin sleep training and expecting that she nap in her crib (with help getting there while she needs it )

So like I said I really think we have a rocking prop, she goes to sleep easily but then once in her crib she doesn't stay asleep because she's not moving.  So this morning after she woke from our initial nap attempt I did shh/pat (mostly just pat) for 30mins until she was back in a deep sleep.  I left for 10mins and came back at the 40min mark to help her through the transition but unfortunately I wasn't successful with that.  Tried for about 15mins and she just wasn't going back down so I abandoned at that point, plus...my back was completely wrecked from being hunched over her crib for so long.

Nap #2 I tried right in her crib from the get-go but she wasn't having it so I ended up rocking her.  She was also really OT because her first A time ended up being really long with the initial fail, then followed by a short nap.

So, I'm not opposed to trying to get her down using shh/pat from the get-go, but it is just a lot to spend 30mins getting her into a deep sleep then go back 10mins lawyer to try to help her through the transition.  And while it sucks, I can do this on my own, but spending this much time doing this is not possible when DS is home.

So I guess for now I will try to commit to settling her in her crib for her first nap and go from there.  I don't have the mental capacity right now to spend this much time hunched over her crib for every nap, so I will just try for the first for now.

She will nap all day long on me or being rocked, but that isn't accomplishing anything long term.  I really want to work on sleep training.  Thank heavens she does good at night, that I can be thankful for.

[lily_layne]

So I guess for now I will try to commit to settling her in her crib for her first nap and go from there.

I think this is a good plan.

Have you seen Emami around the boards at all lately? If you have, I'd try to connect with her. Your DD sounds so much like her DD2 - she may have some helpful hints for you.

[grace annes mommy]

Yes, I agree with working with the first nap.  Even now at 5 mos., I can only deal with settling/resettling for 1 nap.  It's just not healthy to spend all day dealing with naps, especially with another Lo!

Hugs, I know it can be so frustrating...

[Lindsay27]

Ok, I will PM her!

I have the most amount of patience for the first nap lol...come 3pm I've got nothing left to commit to standing over a crib for that long.  In general she is just VERY attached to me.  She doesn't do well with DH or really anyone else.  But I'm not doing either of us any favours by holding her for naps and I think she's old enough now to really think about teaching her to SS.  Ugh though, seriously why does it have to be so hard!?

[lily_layne]

Wouldn't it be great if each LO came with specific instructions?!

[Lindsay27]

So this morning I went with a 1.20 A time again and tried to really reduce stimulation in the 10mins before nap.

Rocked her until she was super drowsy then put her in her crib, rolled her on her side and had 1 hand on her chest and 1 patting her back.  She went off fairly easily but I needed to stay and pat her until she was through the 20min transition - she has major jolts around that time and I don't think she would have made it through if I wasn't there helping.  So I figured we were safe until around the 40min mark, but nope...she woke at the 35min mark which I wasn't anticipating so I wasn't there to catch it.  Rolled her on her side and patted her again and she went off fairly easily, continued to pat for 15mins while she was jolting/twitching like crazy, eye fluttering etc.  Then she had 1 huge jolt and woke up completely, and we just couldn't recover from that...I couldn't get her to go back off. 

So, just feeling discouraged.  All that for a 35min nap   And the whole time I was doing this DS was downstairs playing on his tablet.  So I feel like a super great mother right now having accomplished pretty well nothing and having a tablet parent my DS that whole time. 

So that's it for today.  Too frustrated to do that again so I'll likely AP the rest of her naps today, or might try to take DS out to do something and get some car naps. 

[Lindsay27]

So I decided to try for her second nap in the crib, the weather here is bad so I decided it best not to go out.  She was definitely OT but I was able to pat her to sleep easily enough, I didn't stay though because I had to make DS lunch and she ended up waking at 20mins.  I picked her up and held her until she was drowsy and the put her in the crib and patted to sleep and she went off easily enough.  I went back in after another 20mins and caught her right before the next transition (which I guess would technically be the 40min transition) and I ended up patting her for 30mins but was able to get her through it and she slept another 30mins on her own.

So I guess I consider that somewhat successful.  It is just hard because it is ridiculously time consuming, and I am also having to settle her at the 20min mark and the 40min mark in addition to getting her down initially.  My back is wrecked!  And it doesn't help that I'm sick so then entire time I'm patting her my nose is literally running down my face    It would be a lot easier if I just had to go in once at 40mins.

Next nap I will likely AP because I will need to start prepping dinner. 

Sorry for all the posts, updating as I go lol

[lily_layne]

I'm glad you have had some success even though it's hard work! Are you certain there's no discomfort?