We need help

[Lindsay27]

No discomfort, she's happy as a clam, no reflux or anything. 

Tonight at BT as completely SS on her own, I put her in her bassinet awake and she went off on her own and I hear her settling herself through the night.  Hard to believe our days and nights are polar opposites.

Only 1 nap at home today, 30mins...I knew she was OT for that one as her A time was long.

[Lindsay27]

Big success here ladies!

So in addition to SS completely on her own at BT, she also SS on her own at 5:30am after her NF (with a firm hand on her chest for a few mins).

This morning for her nap I rocked her until drowsy then she settled in her crib with some light patting and a hand on her chest and she went off easily.  Woke at 45mins (but hey...it's not 20! LOL) and I was able to resettle her within about 20mins...she went off really easily again but my dog starting barking at DH and DS who were outside playing, otherwise it probably would have taken less time.

So, this is major improvement in our books.   I'm super happy about this.  As long as I can get her off fairly easily and resettle her at 45mins I think we are making progress.  Her A time was 1.20 which I think is ok?  I think the 45min thing is just her unable to transition.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Wow I'm jealous! We got a twenty minute nap in the crib with me patting him the whole time. That's progress for us too, though.

[lily_layne]

Yay for progress! That's wonderful that she ss at BT. I always found BT the hardest since I'm low on energy by then.

[Emami]

Glad you had a good day hun, I PMd you x

[Lindsay27]

Well, she is now horribly sick with a cold so putting this all on hold for right now.  She can't breathe at all so settling is non-existent and she just needs some extra cuddles right now so we are letting her nap in our arms, in our bed etc.  I did put her down for her first nap in her crib this morning and she drifted off with some patting and did her usual 45mins and I just AP'd the rest because she was blowing snot bubbles out her nose (lol) so I knew re-settling was a lost cause.

[lily_layne]

Oh, snot bubbles. Get well vibes for your little lady.

[Lindsay27]

So nothing really new to report here. 

Her A time is now 1.5hrs and her first nap is mostly 30mins - so I'm wondering if she's OT?  But a 1.20hr A time seems to give us 40min naps so really, hitting a spot in between those would be extremely difficult.  I'm thinking I will just stick with the 1.5hr A time until she catches up - whether I try to resettle at the 30min mark or the 40min mark really makes no difference to me.

Speaking of resettling...it never happens.  Like, ever.  Today I thought I was actually getting somewhere, it seemed like it was going well, I caught her right on time, but then I spent 30mins holding her through the jolts and her drifting in and out of REM sleep but she just couldn't get past that point back into a deep sleep.  It just all seems really pointless even attempting.

So, don't really know what to do, I don't think there is anything to do.  She's 3 months next week and I just really thought by now we'd be seeing some sort of improvement, so it is just really discouraging   Anyway, I don't expect anyone to have any answers...mostly just talking out loud here.

[Bella89]

Hi there,
I'm so sorry you feel that way:( I hope these difficult moments will fly by for you <hugs>

I'm sorry I didn't have time to read through all posts, but I do have questions
1. Is she BF or FF? Does she feed well or squirms?
2. Are he fists open or closed tightly while she sleeps day/night? I ask for this, because some LOs have trouble with muscle tention first months and this is the reason of not sleeping/ not napping/ poor feedings.

[Lindsay27]

She is FF and feeds well, no squirming or anything...a little more distracted these days but that's it.

As for her hands, I'm not 100% sure because she is swaddled so I can't see them, but I think they are open.  From what I can feel from holding her through her jolts they feel open.  She is still very jolt-y for day sleep, not so much at night.

She's a great night sleeper, she SS on her own at BT and through the night, she typically takes 1 NF and then goes back down no issues.  The sleep issues are daytime only - her naps are 20, 30, or 40 mins with no real consistency on length and as I said it is rare that I am able to resettle.  She is very happy, even with short naps she's not overly cranky (until the evening when the OT catches up with her) and she goes down at 7pm every night beautifully.

[lily_layne]

If I resettling isn't working at all what about setting a short time limit for trying (10-15 minutes) or just getting her up and moving on with your day? That way you have a bit more freedom and won't feel chained to the crib.

[Lindsay27]

Yes I don't normally spend that much time trying to resettle, it just seemed like it was working today so I stuck with it...until it didn't work lol.  I normally just try for 10-15mins then move on, but I still try in the vain hope that someday it will work . Our EASY turns into a EASAES so it really doesn't feel like she's on any real routine. 

[lily_layne]

As you know, some LOs just don't go in for predictability! My DD took ages to get on any sort of consistent, predictable routine. I would have saved myself a lot of stress and worry if I had just accepted it and quit trying to force it. At least your LO is giving you the gift of ss at BT.

Does she nap any better when she eats right before you tuck her in?

[Lindsay27]

Feeds before nap don't seem to make a difference.  I know I need to let it go and just deal with the cards dealt, it is just hard.  Most days she is napping 1.5hrs total in a 12hr period...I mean, that's just crazy.  She should be doing that 3 x a day.  It makes for a very long day for me especially because she does not handle DH at all so it's all me all the time, and makes is extremely hard for me to deal with the rest of life...like housework and laundry, DS, cooking etc.  I am forced to do most things during her A time because I don't have a choice so I feel guilt that while she's awake I'm not engaging her as much as I should be, and instead she's playing in her gym while I'm getting things done.  That's the reality though nothing much I can do about it.

All her naps recently have been 30 mins so I was thinking she may be a bit OT, so I tried scaling her A time back today but it didn't make a difference.  I had been doing 1.5hr...do you think that's too much? She's 3 months tomorrow.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Don't feel guilty about getting things done in A time, I do it too (since he needs me there to sleep atm).

Have you tried increasing her A? Playing around with the temperatureand surroundings she's napping in?