19wk old early waking

[josephfc]

Hello. I've received some wonderful advice here in the last few months and so I'm hoping you can help again.

My DD is waking at 640 on the dot every morning. I know that doesn't seem too early but I can't cope with it. I really struggle with mornings and I'm so exhausted all the time. My son also goes to school and her early waking is disruptin him and means her first nap is either too early or too late in order to fit it around his drop off times.

Until about 3 weeks ago she'd sleep 730-730 but as her short naps are catching up with her she is getting more grumpy and going to be earlier and earlier.

Her bad naps often mean her last nap falls at around 5pm and often she is out yor the night. We left her one night and she was awake for the day at 530am. So now I wake her if she sleeps too long.

There are other days when she wakes up from her last nap too late to fit another shorts one in so bedtime is falling at 615/630.

I really need to push all of this back so we have a 7am wake up (minimum).

On to if all this she occasionally wakes between 4 and 430 and refuses sleep without a bottle. She seems wide awake and chatty at these times.

Here are some of our days:

School day
640 wake
E 7
S 910-950 (of school day - really crys when settling)
E 1030
S 1210-1230 (in car school pick up)
E 145
S 230-310
E 415/430
S 510- 6 (sometimes have to wake her)
E 630
S 730/8 (she's fighting bedtime at the minute probably due to the mess up in routine)

Non school day
640 wake
E 7
S 850-930
E 1030
S 1130-1210
E 145
S 210-350
E 445/5
S 610 (stretch it out to get a better bedtime)

She was dropping off to sleep brilliantly until recently and now she fight all sleeps again. She had a wake time of 2h first nap and 150 second so I've pushed her to 210/2h but she still fights and seems more tired and grumpy throughout the day.

Thank you for looking!

[Kellyjs]

Ok, from what I can see, technically you're not getting an EW as it's around 11-11.5hrs ONS. I wonder if we just need to shift the day for you as well as sorting out these short naps!

So I wouldn't suggest going for a later BT at this point as many bubbas will still wake at the same time and cause them to have less ONS and you have a grumpy LO on your hands. What we might have to do is push that first nap out a bit and just work on that one for now? Then hopefully we can move onto the others.

Is she always upset on 2.5hrs first A? And settles better on 2hrs 10? It might be that we go somewhere int he middle for a bit? wdyt? xx

[josephfc]

Thanks for responding so quickly! You're right I feel silly complaining about early waking, we're very fortunate really.

It's tough to say, I only try it on school run days and it's so rushed I think she'd be unsettled anyway. She doesn't fall to sleep in the pram (she doesn't nap of the go well anyway). She has always been on the higher end of A times so maybe we could push it. We were at 2h and she's drop off almost straight away and now she isn't, even at 210. The other day I got a long second nap from her with an A of 2h which made me think we needed to push it.

She's in her bed now 210 A time and chatting away to herself. If find it difficult to tell if that's because she isn't ready or if she's OT!

What would you recommend? I'm nervous to push too far as she is usually really laid back but when her first nap is wrong she become a hot mess!

[josephfc]

She just nodded off quietly at 220 so we'll see how that goes.

[josephfc]

So today we had a first A time of 2h20. I put her down for a nap at 2h and usually she gk s to sleep quickly but today it too her 20 minutes.

After that things got messy because of the school drop off (today DS starts at 12pm so threw a spanner in the works time wise). I thought it was going OK but then for third nap we were on th school run again so I didn't get her to bed until 2h20 and she didn't go to sleep. I had to rock her in the end because she had an OT kick off.

Here's what we had:

W 640
E 820
S 9-940
E 1110
S 1215-1250 went back for 3/4 minutes until 110 first time she has almost resettled.
E 230
S laid down 310, was tired but wouldn't sleep. Cried and rocked at 415.
S 415-5

Do you thinko I should aim for 220 first a and 2h for the rest of the day for the next few days? I'd like to try 230 but not sure if we'd end up in and OT spiral.

[Kellyjs]

No you're not silly at all! I didn't mean that  . It's just that we call an EW 10-10.5hrs oNS and could be indicative of OT or too much day sleep  . Or teething for that matter! We need to find a routine that will fit in with your family life and if that's too early I'm sure we can try and work it our for you.

Yes, I'd hold 2hrs 20mins for a couple of days and see how she goes. Then we might have to increase again but we'll reassess then. I might be tempted to go a tad higher for the other A afterwards, perhaps 2hrs 10mins? Especially after a short nap, it would be interesting to see what happens. The third A could be as short as 2hrs or maybe a little under that considering we only want a short nap in there and I think she might be getting OT by the end of the day with these cr@ppy naps. Kepe me posted ok? xx

[josephfc]

  will do thank you!!

[josephfc]

  this morning we had a 605 wake up (approx) and now she is just plain refusing sleep. She went to bed at 7pm and woke at 4am for about 40 minutes. What's she playing at? I'm so frustrated, it was all going so well.

She eventually went to sleep 9am-945 after a few revisits and a bit of rocking. Until that point she really wasn't having it.

[josephfc]

Today was a strange one. We had a 2h nap! I think maybe exhaustion after a long first A time? I can't imagine she'd be at a 3h A already!

Here's the day:

W 605
E 740
S 9-945 (tried from 810)
E 1120
S 1210-220 (tried from 1145, went to sleep without crying though)
E 250
S 455-525 car
E 630
S 725 (no fuss)

With her seemingly refusing the first nap I don't know whether to go back to 2h10, stick with 220 or push it further! It was nearly 2h30 when we got the second long nap.

[josephfc]

Oh god 550 and we're up for the day, it's getting earlier. I don't know what to do.

[Kellyjs]

Yay to the long nap, but  to the EW.

It is very interesting that you got to 2.5hrs A after a short nap and then that yielded a long nap. Hmmm. I would keep with that 2hr 20 first A for another day or so, but we might have to consider moving that out again soon. What I do want to do is reduce that last A as 2hrs might be a tad too much on a 30mins nap. Maybe bring it back to 1hr 30?

What we can see is that she's reducing her night sleep when she's getting a decent nap in the day. I want to keep an eye on this over the next day or so, but it might be that she can handle high A times and needs to drop that CN sooner than later, but time will tell ok? Bear with it for a little while, it will get better ok?xx

[josephfc]

OK thank you! After the major panic this morning she went back to sleep (took an hour). Short naps again all day. But we'll stick with it and see where it gets us.

Thank you!!

[Kellyjs]

Still poor you, I can never get back to sleep after they do that  xx

[josephfc]

Hello. So things seem to be getting worse rather than better. Admittedly we've had s busy few days and messed up a few nap times. But it seems she is getting more and more OT, is waking earlier and needing to go to bed earlier as a result. And is waking in the night screaming when before she'd have a little chat with herself.

Last night she woke at 445 howling (3am in Sunday, 4am Saturday), we fed her then she went back to sleep 430-615. She used to lay in her cot chatting until I got her up at 7am but for the last two mornings she has cried until I give in and get her up.

I can't tell when she's tired anymore so I took her to bed at 815 (had to take DS to school so I hoped to squeeze a quick nap in) but she cried. I got her up and in the end had to take DS to school which meant she was OT when we came back and I had walk her to sleep.

I'm really fed up now, she was a great sleeper and now we've lost the plot again. I know she needs a shift in A times, she acts this way every time, but she has never been so exhausted before.

And with her morning starting so early her night is early too, sometimes 6pm bedtime! I can't seem to get it right at all.

I can't show you a decent routine from the last few days as it has been so erratic. And today with school pick ups she's going to be napping all over the place again.

Here was yesterday's based on being out and squeezing naps in where possible:

620 ish WU
S 848-920 (tried her at 830, she cried quite a bit, I picked her up a couple of times but she fell asleep in the cot)
S 1130-1150 (we were at a party)
S 135-2 (rocked)
S 4-445 (rocked)
BT 639 - went straight to sleep but fussed a lot)

I don't know how to get a good few test days because the school run is always getting in the way. But it seems 220 causes a lot of tears but 210 ends in nap refusal.

Sorry it's a bit of a rant, I can't find any cohesion!

[Kellyjs]

It's so hard to find any cohesion when your days are different hun. I presume you found it much easier first time around? That's because there wasn't another Lo to work around too!
All you can do is try and go with the flow. !hr 15mins would be unlikely to get a nap, but I can see why you tried.

What I can see is that You were doing well witht he high A times, but I wonder if se is OT have you tried going back tot he 2hrs A first thing? xx