Question about pick up / put down

[Aria2010]

My lo doesn't really break out into a full cry very often. For example, he'll wake in the night or early from a nap and will groan and moan rather than cry. Should I still do the pick up / put down during this time? At the moment, if I just leave him he will either (not very often) fall back asleep, or he will just continue to babble, moan and groan until I either get him or if it's been a while (30 mins+) he may finally up things to a cry. His night sleeping isn't too bad but his naps are terrible and I'm just not sure how to implement the pick up / put down when he's not really crying and distressed. Thanks

[Kellyjs]

How old is he? Pu/pd is only recommended for 4mo and up. Tbh I've found ssh/pat works better in these circumstances when they're not full on crying as pu/pd tends to stimulate them more and make them mad! I personally wouldn't interfere if the'yre not crying and leave them to it.

Do you want to post your routine and let me take a peek and see what we can do about these naps for you?  xx

[Aria2010]

Thanks for the reply. He's 6 months old. The routine is all over the place because I've got in a mess over the naps. Everyday I start the same - we get up around 8am and then I feed and dress him and then we play. He yawns and acts tired really early on (he always has) but under the 3 hour easy he went down for a 1.5 hour nap bang on after being up 1.5 hours. Now we are supposed to be on the 4 hour easy and I can't get the wake time first thing to work. I've tried putting him down everywhere between 1.5 and 2.25 hours and still I get a 30 minute nap. After the short nap the day is thrown off because he's tired so he usually starts fussing just 20 - 30 minutes after being up and then I end up bringing his next feed forward so I can put him down again because he's so tired. This results in another 30 minute nap and so the day goes! Some days I'm putting him down for up to 5 short 30 min naps. I'm not sure how to get back on track because if I try and stick to the 4 hour easy times when he's only slept 30 minutes he becomes incredibly upset. Pretty much stretching him when he's tired is the only thing that makes him really cry, hence my question about the pick up and put down. Things were going well on the 3 hour easy and then we seemed to naturally transition to the 4 hour easy and then somewhere in the last few weeks it's all unraveled. I'm really keen to resolve his naps because I go back to work in 3 weeks and would like him in a steady routine that I can pass to my mother in law. Any advice would be much appreciated.

[Kellyjs]

If you could post what today looks like in real time that will help loads, don' worry if it looks messy 

Some bubbas, do like an early nap, as long as there's no EW, I would just roll with it. However, that's not saying he might need some help with pushing the A times. 1.5hrs A is vv low for his age. It may be that works for the first A because of the disrupted night, but that will become a vicious circle. It may be that we leave the first nap as is and work on the second nap to make sure he gets a decent one in there and doesn't get OT by the end of the day xx

[Aria2010]

Ah ok, well I'll use yesterday as an example of the messy schedule!

E: 8.00 am
A: 8.20 am
S: 9.30 am (30 min nap)
A: 10.00 am
E: 11.00 am
S: 11.20 am (30 min nap)
A: 11.50 am
E: 14.15 pm
S: 14.45pm (40 min nap)
A: 15.15 pm
S: 16.30 pm (45 mins)
A: 17.15 pm
E: 17.40 pm (solid food - just started)
A: 18.00 pm (bath at 18.45pm)
E: 19.10 pm
S: 7.45 pm

The cycle is that because he's tired from his first short nap I end up bringing his feeds forward so that I can put him down for another nap. He sleeps relatively ok at night, he generally disturbs around 1am to pass wind lol! Sometimes he won't settle again so I give him another little feed and other times he settles fine. He then sleeps through until I wake him up, today that was at 7.45am.

I know what the 4 hour easy should look like but it's sticking to it when he's so tired from the short naps that I'm struggling with. We had it down a few weeks back and now it's all a big short napped mess!

[Kellyjs]

Don't worry, I got stuck with this short napping thing too when DD was this age. It's a pain i know.

What we do have to do is help him extend his A times. They are far too short i'm afraid. He simply isn't tired enough to sleep any longer. I would work on the first nap for now and extend the first A by 15mins and hold for 2 days. He may give you tired cues as he's used to going down at that time. Thsi will be learned behaviour. Something else I found when DD A times were far too short was that I had difficulty getting her down after the 15mins extension. I was so paranoid of OT. But that wasn't the case. As she went past her 'usual' time of going down for a nap I found she could handle A times that were much longer. So, in short, try the 15mins extension please and see what hapens. And if the above happens, don't worry we can manage it  xx

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

[Aria2010]

Thanks for the reply, will try extending his awake time tomorrow. I looked over the baby whisperer book again and she says distraction is key so will pull out all the stops to keep him going! I think one problem is that when he starts to get fussy and get tired I pick him up and cuddle him which makes him even more tired because he feels like warm and cosy so I'll avoid doing that tomorrow and just keep trying to entertain him instead. Will let you know how I get on...

[Kellyjs]

Good luck, yes distraction is the key! Change of scenery helps a lot. Let m know how you get on xx

[Aria2010]

Wow! What a turn around! Over the last two days I have been keeping lo up longer and his naps have transformed! Today his morning nap was 2 hours and he's currently asleep for his second nap and that's coming up on 2 hours too! He's also slept through the night for two nights in a row! It's been tough to keep him going for the two hours of awake time but it's totally worth it for have him napping so well!

I think the confusing aspect is that the wake time conflicts with his tiredness cues. After about 1.5 hours he displays strong signs of tiredness, rubbing his eyes, yawning, fussing - he appears so ready for sleep but although tired, he just wasn't tired enough.

Thank you very much for your advice, I really appreciate it!

[Kellyjs]

Yay, great news  . Unfortunately, yes the tired cues can become unreliable at this stage. We were taught by Tracy to watch their cues from early on and that's what we do. It's just at this age we do have to keep one eye on the clock as well!

Keep an eye on the day sleep versus the night sleep. Don't want to be a downer, but sometimes whent ehy get too much sleep during the day it takes away from their night sleep. But you will see it if it happens. In the meantime, enjoy your Y time  xx