Starting to go insane! 4 month old constant cold and nw

[lyssie28]

Yeah I tried 2 hrs for each but she ended up OT by bedtime.  If I wake her after 1 and a half hrs for 2 of her maps what do I do to get her to bedtime? For example if her day went:

Wu 6:00

Nap 8:00 - 9.30

Nap 11.15 - 12.45

Nap 2.30 - 3.15

But then it's 3 hours until bedtime.  Also sometimes she wakes after an hour what do I do about her naps if she does this? Normally if I can't get her to settle I'd get her up and do her A time from there but maybe make it a bit shorter if she starts getting cranky but no less than an hr and a half.  But then this makes the naps even early and a longer A time before bed.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Early bed?

[lyssie28]

I guess but she already goes to bed between 6 and 6.30 because she wakes early.  If she goes any earlier she'd probably be wide awake at 5 am.

[trimbler]

Depends - if she's OT by BT you're probably better off going for the earlier BT as she may tack on at the end of the night, perhaps with another feed if necessary. If you push BT when she's already OT you run the risk of poor night sleep on top of that with an EW caused by the OT...

Why do you want to wake her after 1.5h of her naps? Is that to reduce the amount of day sleep? Another way to do it would be to focus on stretching A times (as gently as needed) but still allow 2h naps (for the first and second, at least if she'll take them that long) and this will result in BT getting later, ie a shorter night in total. But an 11h night is fine if it works for her, I've done even shorter (preferably no shorter than 10.5h IME) coming up to nap transitions. Better than a broken night!

The third nap doesn't necessarily have to be a CN just yet, it really depends on the LO. Since my LOs got OT quite easily I'd often end up with a longer third nap, especially with DS, who really needed to accrue a decent amount of A time overall before the night, but who got OT really easily if the A was too long, or the third nap too short. He was also a chronic short napper, so if he'd short napped earlier in the day then I found he could sometimes take a longer third nap and then manage a longer A time after it, which got BT to a better time for him. Does that make any sense at all? Sorry I'm rambling...

[lyssie28]

No no not rambling I understand 👍

Yeah I was thinking to cut down day time sleep but I don't want her to get OT.  I'll just let her have 2hr which she normally has easily in the afternoon at least anyway.  Her morning are a bit hit or miss but she normally has at least an hr.  Today I had to take the eldest to the docs so she could have a full nap so bedtime was at 5.45 so hoping she adds it into her night time sleep as this morning she was awake at 5am!  She has had good A times today because we were out walking (she gets too nosy and won't sleep in her pram anymore) and didn't seem too OT so here's hoping she has a good night. 

[lyssie28]

Nope awake all night again 😨 I wish I knew why she woke so much.  I'm starting to get extremely tired and frustrated now.  Pushing her A times doesn't seem to be helping.  I don't really know what to do anymore 

[trimbler]

Oh dear so sorry (((hugs))) don't forget to post a whole day/night now and again, so we can hunt for clues... Two thoughts right now - can't remember if we mentioned the 4mo sleep regression/growth spurt, but everyone has issues with sleep around this age, there's just so much developmental stuff going on, just remember you're not alone, it's a challenging time

Other thought was just that I remember doing a short fourth CN in the sling still at this age, it didn't go on much longer at all but just helped us get to BT without too much OT. Just another thing to consider... Or of course, as MJ&N said, go for early bed.

[lyssie28]

Well we are still having the same wake although last night it was reversed - started waking from 10pm until half 12 - gave dummy and offered milk - and then she woke at 2am - took half a bottle and I had to changed her clothes because nappy leaked- and then she slept until 7.15.

Her day yesterday was:

Wu 6.00

S8-10 (I had to wake her)

S12-2 ( woke herself after 2hrs)

S 4.15-5pm (I woke her up)

Bt 6.30.  I was trying for 7pm but she wasn't having any of it!

I think I'm coming to realise that this is not to do with her routine maybe but rather her age.  I do remember her sister was the same at this age. Her morning naps are still on and off.  Sometimes she easily has 2 hours and some days she will only have 45 mins.

[trimbler]

You're certainly right about the age thing with the 4mo SR. It's frustrating though, isn't it! How was she during those NWs? Crying? Babbling? Did you do anything else, other than offer dummy and milk, and change nappy? Looks like a nice day there, actually, probably making up a bit for those rough nights with some good naps, which she probably needs in  a way, although if she's up chatty and happy in the night then you might need to push A times harder so that she can start catching up sleep at night rather than during the day. However, if she's really upset in the night then I'd usually suspect OT and/or discomfort... I wondered whether you'd tried letting her have a longer third nap, in the hope that she could then do a longer A time afterwards without getting OT? It still just seems to me a bit like she's getting on the short side of A time overall during the day, but struggles to manage much A after a CN without getting OT? Hard to tell from a distance, of course! On the other hand, if you feel she's just really OT and/or HSN, I wonder if you could try reducing the A time before the CN a little (say, 2h, or even less?), and then perhaps you wouldn't have to wake her. Just thinking that if you're waking her from the CN, she's likely to be more tired as she really wanted to sleep a bit longer - so then she's starting the last A to BT already tired, so may not manage even 1.5h without getting a bit OT? Sorry, I'm trying to point out some different options for you, for you to decide what you'd like to try, since you know her best