Author Topic: Talk to me about tackling co sleeping  (Read 2285 times)

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Offline Buntybear

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #15 on: February 23, 2016, 20:18:17 pm »
That is a great start xx

Offline kyleian

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #16 on: February 24, 2016, 02:27:56 am »
I just skimmed this but wanted to share our experience. Because of DD's reflux she slept on our chests until 4 months, and the only reason we stopped was because she wasn't sleeping as well and I kept getting plugged ducts. Then we transitioned her into the side-carred crib (which was our original intent, wanting to semi-cosleep) with shush-pat (took 2 nights of 2-3 hours of shush-pat and then after her first night feed she was fine in the crib) and she slept in there the whole night after that, with an extra feed for the first month or so. When we were traveling at Christmas when she was 13 months, she was sleeping in a peapod on the floor and it wasn't comfortable for her so she'd wake at midnight and we brought her in bed with us and loved it, short-term. ;) I love waking up with her in the bed.
She's still (15 mo) in the crib right next to the bed, though we've had the rail up since she started crawling at 6 mo. It's made night time disruptions like teething SO much easier because I can keep lying down but just stick my hand through the slats and pat her, etc.
We plan to do the same with LO #2 in September though hopefully without the 4 months of reflux.

Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2016, 13:12:47 pm »
First crib nap, woohoo!! Took a bit of patting and he wanted to suck my finger (way better than a dummy in his opinion!) but he went off and did a whole sleep cycle with just my hand on him.

Couldn't resettle but offered him a feed and he's gone to sleep feeding so is curled up next to me still. So my idea of this necessarily being a short nap is misguided. I'm encouraged to try it again.

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Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #18 on: February 28, 2016, 17:57:21 pm »
Checking in!

So this week baby has gone into his crib for the first part of the night, and we've managed four naps in there. He's taken to sucking the arm of his bunny comforter to go to sleep at nap time, with me patting him.

The thing is...he still needs me there. If we start off the nap patting, we have to continue through the whole nap. He needs my hand on him when he goes in there at night time.

So it feels like progress, but limited progress. Early days? I know I'm taking this slowly but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot!
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline koe2moe

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #19 on: February 28, 2016, 18:40:41 pm »
Helen, well done!  I meant to come share our co-sleeping and transition to cot experience but still sick, had visitor and now DS sick in this spring break.

Does he sleep on his back and does it matter where you put your hand?  What happens if you withdraw your hand?  Do you perhaps have a small heavy blanket which can be placed on him to give him the weight?  Or a cherry pit filled cushion?




Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #20 on: February 28, 2016, 18:56:01 pm »
Ooh, good thinking Koe!!

He sleeps on his side, generally next to me in bed :) but when in the crib he seems to like being on his side with my hand across his hip area. I've got one of those wheat bags I could try instead; that would be safe, wouldn't it? I'm not planning on leaving the room for long but would love to brush my teeth later than 6pm!
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Offline koe2moe

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #21 on: February 28, 2016, 19:11:06 pm »
Do give it a try.  My grandma used to tell me that babies like to feel the weight either from tight swaddle or heavy blanket in the belly. 

For DS we discovered from week 3 that he would sleep happily and stayed sleeping if he slept in his tummy.  Of course I am not recommending it against the caution for SIDS.  It was our only option or he would startle through the night.  So in order to keep a close eye we had him in our bed. 

The transition to cot was just cold turkey with shh pat and I stupidly thought I had to keep patting till he was fast asleep.  You might want to observe him during the nap how he startles.  If the wheat bag works, great.  If not try laying the hand or pat to comfort when he startles, so you train him to get used to not needing your hand. 



Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #22 on: February 28, 2016, 19:17:45 pm »
That's the next step, I think. He's going from all sling naps (constant movement) to this so I think he's doing ok, but needs the patting for now. I'll build up some more sleep cues so he gets used to what to expect.

I've found that he needs things to stay the same in order to stay asleep. Patting etc. So I'll try to reduce input from the start of the nap rather than remove it partway through.
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline koe2moe

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #23 on: February 28, 2016, 19:31:55 pm »
Sounds like good progress in progression ;D

You know him best.  I hope you get some rests during the day soon.  How's your recovery btw?  It sounds like you are very active, so I think that's a good sign.  xx



Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #24 on: February 28, 2016, 19:44:16 pm »
I'm very active, he's forced that! But doing ok, thankyou xxx

Hope you feel better soon!
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline trimbler

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #25 on: February 28, 2016, 20:42:50 pm »
That sounds great :D as you know, we did a lot of sling naps during the first four months or so with DD, just the one in the cot plus BT, we added another cot nap once she could manage the A times around preschool runs around 4.5mo. Progress was certainly faster once she was doing two naps in there, but also probably her age helped. For now he's making great progress, we also found DD needed a lot of help to start with, but eventually we could start doing less and less - I still remember the feeling of wonder and amazement the first time she managed to fall asleep without a hand on her - "look, no hands" ;D as well as the feeling prior to that, that she'd never manage it :P Keep pushing forwards, being encouraged by how far you've both come :-*



Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #26 on: February 29, 2016, 08:03:50 am »
It definitely feels like he'll never be able to do it right now, thanks for the reassurance Susannah!

Koe, your idea worked!!! He went until around 11 in the crib last night, hands-free, and even went back happily after a feed.

I just want to reiterate that I have read up extensively on co-sleeping safely and am following all the guidelines.
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline Shiv52

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Re: Talk to me about cosleeping/bedsharing and your experiences
« Reply #27 on: February 29, 2016, 08:11:01 am »
Hi all

We've had some concerns raised about the topic in this thread.  I have PMed MJN and she'd rather the thread not be locked and is happy for me to write here.

Co sleeping is not something BW advocates as a sleep solution for more than a few days to get people through a difficult period.   

Concerns have also been raised about the SID risks of sleeping with such a small baby.  If you are ever to sleep with an infant you should follow all the extra advice such as no drinking, not if you are overly tried, no meds etc.  But SID guidelines state that the safest place for a baby under 6 months to sleep is in their own basket/crib, on their back and in their parents room. 

Tracey though I feel was a realist and always said until people were ready to work on issues or props then they weren't ready.  MJN is obviously now looking at working at establishing some wind downs and sleep cues to work toward more independent sleep using BW techniques and we will obviously support her moving forward as best we can.  But from this point advice and support should relate to that and not to discuss co sleeping.

Thanks all x





Offline michaeljacknnugg

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Re: Talk to me about tackling co sleeping
« Reply #28 on: February 29, 2016, 18:52:34 pm »
Thanks Shiv

Two steps forward and one step back, as always.

We attempted two crib naps today and got one. The first we ended up on the bed next to the crib, using all our sleep cues, but he was obviously going to get overwrought so I kept him with me. We managed to stop patting and then resettle at 40mins...for a whole ten minutes!! But hey, we did it.

Managed his catnap in the crib but woke as soon as I stopped patting.

Here's the thing though. He's been fairly clingy today during his A time, which is uncharacteristic. Related? I made sure we had a long relaxed nursing session, and we had some time together in the carrier while he watched me cook (mixers are cool!).
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
My love, my everything - BabyTwo, Nov 2015

Offline koe2moe

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Re: Talk to me about tackling co sleeping
« Reply #29 on: February 29, 2016, 21:53:50 pm »
Helen, he's learning to sleep in this new way.  Is it a gs perhaps?  I guess as consistent as you can, it will make the learning process less confusing for him.  We pretty much went cold turkey but DS only needed to sleep on tummy and he had a dummy then.  Hope you get some good sleep tonight xx