2.5yr toddler screaming before naps and bed (new behavior)

[cmschapp]

I don't know what to do. My son is a month over 2.5 years old. He was a great sleepers up until about 2 weeks ago. We would brush teeth, put pjs and diaper on, read books, say goodnight lay him down and walk out.

He got a fat lip a week or so prior to that so we got rid of pacis because they hurt him. He was sleeping through the night and things seemed fine.

Then enter the beast. Before naps and bed he screams sometimes the entire time whether DH or I are in there or not. He says he wants books then he says no books, he says he wants to go to bed then he says he doesn't, he says to turn the light off then screams when I do. I have no idea what he wants or if he is just playing us. I looked and searched for threads in BW but I can't find anything similar. In most cases the kids stop crying when a parent comes in but not mine he screams and cries and stomps his feet sometimes.

I don't know what to try if we should do WI/WO or cry it out or what but taking an hour to put him to nap and bed screaming the entire time is going to break me.
Please HELP!

[cmschapp]

Been screaming for an hour for nap. Doesn't matter if I am in the room or not. Seriously losing my marbles.

[Haribo2012]

Hi sorry you are having a rough time, it could just be developmental seen as its around the half birthday.

We don't support CIO, and would suggest either gradual withdrawal or walk in walk out, has he dropped his nap at all?

[cmschapp]

He is pretty spirited. I could never do CIO to hard on him and me. But sometimes I needed to leave the room to get away from the screaming. He tried to drop his naps but I think he still needs them either that or I need to bump up bedtime. We usually start around 8 getting him to bed but with the hour long crying/screaming battle we have been trying to start a little earlier. I have not tried WI/WO. I don't know much about it but it seems like it would just make him more mad that I would be going in and out. He can't make up his mind so no matter what I do he screams/cries. I used to be able to settle him or even DH but we can be holding him and he is crying/screaming.

[Buntybear]

It could be the developmental leap/growth spurt they have at half birthdays. That causes all sorts of shenanigans like this. TBH there is not much you can do but ride it out 

What was his EASY like before that? It could be he is heading towards dropping his nap. It is tricky if he is OT from the late BTs but all a bit UT a he needs less daytime sleep.

[cmschapp]

8am wake up
9 breakfast
12 lunch
1:30 -4pm nap wake up no later than 4 (sometimes not this long, today because of the screaming it was about 2:30 before he went down)
5:30-6:00 dinner
8-8:15 bed

We are somewhat flexible but this was his schedule prior to melt downs. Sometimes he didn't nap and in that case he would go to bed about 7 or 7:30 instead.
I am wondering if I should just get rid of his nap and move his bedtime up and see if that eliminates the fighting.
I know some days he might need and nap and some days he won't just based on how much sleep he gets at night and how much activity he has during the day.

He is a month over 2.5 but he doesn't have his two year molars yet. Could that cause something like this too? He just seems so confused that he doesn't even know what will make him happy.
Today I went back and forth between his bed about 6 times because he kept making me move as soon as I would sit down he would say no not there or not like that etc. I had to have DH come in and he got him to sleep...

It could be developmental, or even nightmare related. He has mentioned tigers. Overnight he woke up crying because he thought he had a fat lip, but he didn't he was dreaming and once he realized that he went back to sleep pretty quickly. I do think it scares him though.

[cmschapp]

Hi sorry you are having a rough time, it could just be developmental seen as its around the half birthday.

We don't support CIO, and would suggest either gradual withdrawal or walk in walk out, has he dropped his nap at all?

I think I meant the gradual approach not CIO. LOL I can't even think straight.

[Haribo2012]

I wonder if his nap might need capping a bit or making BT later that's a good long nap on a 12 hour day!?

Our nap dropping started at that age but by capping it or EBT if refused.

[cmschapp]

Yes, I don't think he needs to nap as long. recently it has been an hour and half maybe 2 if we get him down early. I have seen some developmental things recently. He was playing with his mega blocks and getting extremely frustrated if he couldn't get them together just how he wanted them. Then he would say there is something wrong with the blocks. We could have a combo of things going on here lol yay!

[Haribo2012]

Being frustrated was definitely something my lo went through (still does) just deals with it better! I'd prob keep nap at 1.5 hours see if it limits the bedtime messing x

[cmschapp]

I wish it was just bedtime that he was crying, whining, screaming but it happens at nap time too. My mom is trying to put him down and all I hear is nooo and scream crying I don't want to take a nap.
It's about 1. We have tried earlier, later naps and it doesn't seem to make a difference.

[Haribo2012]

What about just changing things up at nap time and just letting him chill on the sofa see if he nods off or take a drive?

[cmschapp]

I will suggest that to my mom but I don't want to do any accidental parenting. The crying seems to be getting less and less. We might just need to make winding down a longer process and see if that helps.

[Haribo2012]

I found that as DS got nearer 3 I had to apop naps or we didn't get any but totally understand if you don't want to go down that route...if was a saviour when OT was kicking in though!

[cmschapp]

I see. He didn't have a nap yesterday I took him up to bed at 7:30 he was asleep by 8 but then woke 3 times overnight! He got out of bed at 7:50 this morning. The first time hubs had to stay in there for 30 mins. I think I was in there for 10 and I don't remember the other time. Honestly I am not even sure he would fall asleep in the car during the day.

[Haribo2012]

If he won't nap then u may just have to do an earlier bed time x