When do I shorten length of shush/pat (and other questions)?

[Odin's_mom]

The last 24 hours were long and hard and I'm REALLY hoping tomorrow will be better!!

I just started shush/pat with my 10 week old.  Normally I nurse him to sleep but we are wanting to break that habit.

I started at bed time last night.  We already had a bed time routine in place (bath, diaper, swaddle, nurse, burp, bed).  I did shush/pat for about 45 minutes and he was out.  He woke up around 10:30, I fed him then did shush pat again (about 30 mins).  His next waking was 3:00 and he was able to go back to bed after nursing without shush/pat.  Then he woke at 5:30, ate, fell back asleep until 6:00.  I tried shush/pat for about an hour.  He was half asleep/awake the entire time and grumbling.  At 7:00 I gave up and we got up.  Here is our EASY since then:

A -  7:00 Wake up (did not eat because ate at 5:30)
E-   7:45 Eat/burp/diaper change
S -  8:00 Start shush/pat.....he fell asleep after about 25 mins of struggling then I continued for another 25 minutes.  He woke when I stopped ( He got about 20 mins of sleep?)

A -  9:00
S-   9:10 Shush/pat....he fell asleep after another 20 minutes of struggling then I continued for another 30 mins.  He slept until 10:15 (YAY!)

A-   10:15-10:30
E-   10:30-10:45 eat, burp, then diaper change
S-   11:00 Shush/pat....he continued to cry hard despite picking him up twice to sh/pat in my arms to calm him. Gave up at 11:30
A-   11:30-11:45 chatted with daddy then swing
S-   12:00 Shush/pat...struggled until 12:20 then fell asleep. I continued shush/pat until 12:50 (when he woke up) b/c I knew it would be a short OT nap

E-   1:00
A-   1:20
S-   1:25 shh/pat 1:30-2:30 ( he struggled for 20 mins, woke at 220, resettled then woke again at 230 and got very upset)

A-   2:30-3:00
S-   3:00-4:00 shh/pat (struggle 20 mins then woke up on and off)

E-   4:00-4:20
A-   4:20-4:45
S-   4:45-5:30 (this nap was in the carrier when we went for a walk)

A-   5:30-6:00 Bath
E-   6:00-6:20
S-   6:15  (sh/pat for an hour and a half)  I had to stop and get my hubby to take over because LO would not stop crying for me

Some of the A times were quite short because I wasn't sure how much time to give him in between the short naps or no nap at all.  Prior to this he would usually sleep at least 45 minutes but usually about 1.5-2.5 hours and I would keep him awake for an hour before nursing him to sleep.  I also did not intentionally nurse him before sleep today but it worked out that way at times.  I made sure to at least change his diaper in between nursing and sleep.

1.  Is there anything I can be doing better overall? 

2.  Also, we co-sleep and so I am doing this in our bed but would like to transition him to the crib eventually (once he is at least 3 months old).  Was it unwise to wait for that?  Should I have put him in the crib at the start of implementing shush/pat?   

3.  This is how I am currently doing shush/pat:
Sh/pat (loud drawn out SHH, pat on middle of back) until his eyes close, continue for at least 20 minutes.  Then I ease up on the shush then ease up on the pat until I remove my hand (I'm usually done this part about 5 minutes past the 20 min mark).  I remove my hand very gradually as well.  How long before I can decrease shush/pat times and how much should I decrease them by?  For example should I decrease by 5 minutes and do this for a whole day?  I read in the success stories that this usually takes about a couple weeks but I thought Tracey said it shouldn't take longer than a week.  I'm not sure how long I can continue on little sleep...  My hubby tries to help but our LO seems to get even more worked up when it is not me (he is like this for most things).

4.  How much A time is OK after a 30 min nap? A 45 min nap?

5.  Should you always do shush/pat when they wake early like that?

6.  Leap 3 is coming up in about 10 days....will that likely undo all of our hard work?

Today was a nightmare, I must have done something wrong because my LO got barely any sleep and I spent most of my day shush/patting. 

[Odin's_mom]

We just tried our first nap of today with shush pat....

It took him 10 mins to settle and close his eyes.  Then I continued to shush-pat for another half hour then slowly let up.  I gently removed my hand from his back and 30 seconds later he was awake.  I tried shush-patting for 10 mins to get him back to sleep but he wouldn't even calm down. :S

[Martini~]

1.  Is there anything I can be doing better overall? 
You are doing great Honey:)

2.  Also, we co-sleep and so I am doing this in our bed but would like to transition him to the crib eventually (once he is at least 3 months old).  Was it unwise to wait for that?  Should I have put him in the crib at the start of implementing shush/pat?   

According to the FSID guidance the safest place to sleep for a baby is with mum in the same room but in separated crib. So if you want to do it, just go for it right now! Sleeping with you will make stoping feeding to sleep habit much more difficult for both of you.

3.  This is how I am currently doing shush/pat:
Sh/pat (loud drawn out SHH, pat on middle of back) until his eyes close, continue for at least 20 minutes.  Then I ease up on the shush then ease up on the pat until I remove my hand (I'm usually done this part about 5 minutes past the 20 min mark).  I remove my hand very gradually as well.  How long before I can decrease shush/pat times and how much should I decrease them by?  For example should I decrease by 5 minutes and do this for a whole day?  I read in the success stories that this usually takes about a couple weeks but I thought Tracey said it shouldn't take longer than a week.  I'm not sure how long I can continue on little sleep...  My hubby tries to help but our LO seems to get even more worked up when it is not me (he is like this for most things).
Hon just trust your own insticts. Do as little as possible and try to make a progress every 2-3 days. If your son is not responsding well to a change, just wait 1-2 days and once again try less and less support.

4.  How much A time is OK after a 30 min nap? A 45 min nap?
It depends on a child Honey. Some will do the same A and the next nap is then loooongish one. Some will shorten. I usually went with a normal A, than had and overtired nap which was easy to resettle. UT naps were impossible to resettle so I didn;t want to experiment!

5.  Should you always do shush/pat when they wake early like that?
You can try. Have you thought of any white noise generator? When my DS was waking at 6am at that stage, I was just turing on a hairdryer on the floor next to bed and going to sleep for another hour:).

6.  Leap 3 is coming up in about 10 days....will that likely undo all of our hard work?
Nope, probably not, but you will have some disturbances. Difficult to say what will hapeppen as children react differently, but just expect some changes. Usually kiddos will go with a jump in A which can be started with a shorter A than usual.


--> Hope I helped a bit:)!

[Odin's_mom]

Thanks for the response.

We had no improvements today.  He is getting way less sleep than he used to and waking up early now.  Plus he cries every time I pat his back now, even to burp him. 

There is no way he will nap unless I nurse him to sleep so either I go that route or continue with this and neither of them seem favorable to me. 

[Odin's_mom]

Oh I forgot to mention, we have always used a white noise machine with him because our house is creaky and our 5 year old is noisy so I thought it would help keep him asleep but it doesn't seem to do much.  We also invested in a baby shusher machine because with the lack of sleep and all the shushing I was getting lightheaded.