Please help me fix my 8wk old's sleeping habits

[michaeljacknnugg]

What scares you about cosleeping?

I've read that it takes them the first three months to set their diurnal rhythms. So she's fine, really. You didn't mess her up. You could try getting her outside first thing though, to help her body clock along a bit.

[Seachelle1512]

I'll have to tell myself that all day. I didn't mess her rhythm, I didn't mess her rhythm... Kinda makes me feel better With my mom here next week I'll be more apt to get up and outside with LO. I've had plenty of errands I've wanted to run but never wanted to solo so we could try to get out more.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Good plan . Do you have a sling at all? Even going for a walk with baby in the sling will benefit you both. I found our naps much, much easier to come by when we started to go out at roughly the same time every day, and the fresh air does both of us good. We have two horses so we are generally out the door by 8am to go see to them, and my little guy takes his first nap in the sling.

Make sure you rest, too. Cluster feeding is baby trying to increase your supply, and you need rest for that.

[Seachelle1512]

It's not a sling but I do have a baby carrier. If her 3am bedtime stints continue while my mom's here maybe I'll strive for a 11am wake with noon walk and see what happens. 1am sounds so much better now than it did before lol. It's supposed to be much warmer starting tmrw-Tuesday like 60-70°F but rainy so hopefully we can still get out, even if we have to become one of those mall-walkers 

[michaeljacknnugg]

We have a lillebaby and I'm addicted! I love it!

I wouldn't worry about the weather. It's snowed here today, right in our faces but we were still out in it. Fresh air and weather is good for the spirit, and as long as you're wrapped up then it won't do baby any harm.

[Seachelle1512]

That's true- I'll just bundle her up and take her out as long as it's not raining hard. She does have a cute furry footed/mitten onesie she finally grew into 
Saw the pedi today for her 2mo checkup and she suggested I start getting LO up at 7am each day, deal with any fussiness for a few days and after about a week we should see results. 7:00 is about when I would need her up for daycare. I was afraid to switch her cold turkey like that but the pedi said to just do it. Going to stick to EAS as best I can and might just nurture her naps this week so she doesn't get OT then get back into Ssh/pat once her schedule has flipped.
It tried snowing here this morning but the flurries only latsted an hour.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Good thinking!

Now you come to mention it, the time we had to flip DS1's body clock for our trip to Canada a couple of years ago was way easier than just moving an hour or so when the clocks change. So go for it! It can only go wrong, and you'll have learned something from it even then.

[Seachelle1512]

After 3 days LO seems to be responding pretty well to the daytime routine, despite not wanting to wake from her naps lol, but we only had one good night so far. She goes down at 7pm well and wakes herself  around 10:30, but the last two nights what is supposed to be her 10:00 'dream feed' isn't going well. The first bad night she would not settle, only took 15min catnaps then not back to sleep till 2am. Tonight it took an hour to settle her only for her to wake an hour later. She isn't consolable back to sleep with ssh/pat so I end up PU and sometimes nursing again. Trying to stay positive and not get discouraged but it seems she still thinks 2am is bedtime.

[michaeljacknnugg]

It sounds like you've made a lot of progress!! Well done!

I would just feed when she wakes at night, for now, and focus on getting a daytime routine and good feeding schedule. The nights will improve naturally if you can sort the days.

[Seachelle1512]

I feed at the nighttime, no resettling attempts,  but she doesn't go back to sleep right away at first NF. She was up 10:30-12:00, slept an hour, woke up again at 1:00 so I fed her and after she didn't go right back to sleep after 20m I just laid her in her crib at 1:40 (partly out of frustration and so I could go rest for a bit) and she put herself to sleep. Yay for that. But she is now up at 5:45am, so I nurse her then wake her up in an hour (assuming she goes straight to sleep) to start our day. I really hope it gets better at night

[Seachelle1512]

Here's our last 3 days. I make note of her behaviors to try and track patterns. A failed PD means she cried so I PU and retry.

Wed A 7:50, S 7:18
A 7:50-9:20 1.5hr (Dr appt)
E 7:50-8:00
S 9:20-10:50 1.5hr car seat
A 10:50-11:50 1hr, yawn 11:35, didn't fight but had to burp/fart first
E 11:00-25
S 11:50-1:00 1hr10 in arms
A 1:00-2:10 1hr10 Fought w/o crying 10m
E 1:15
S 2:10-3:10 1hr PD
A 3:10-4:15 Fuss 3:50, bounce 10m, no cry
E 3:20
S 4:15-5:40. 1.5hr. PD 4:14 failed
A 5:49-7:15 BT routine
E 5:45
E 6:49 GD, Failed PD 7:05, burped then PD
S 7:15-11:00 3.75hr
E 11:10-36
S 11:36-5:15 5.75hr
E 5:15
S 5:15-7:35

Thurs A 7:30, S 7:35
A 7:35-8:20 Fuss 8:10. Fought 10m no cry
E 7:42
S 8:20-10:30 2 hr, PD
A 10:30-11:40. No fuss, in carseat 11:30
E 10:40
S 11:40-1:40 2hr, car/errands
A 1:40-2:40. No fuss, started rocking 2:30
E 1:44
S 2:40-4:25 1.5hr PD
A 4:25-5:20 No fuss, fell asleep fast
E 4:36
S 5:20-5:48 PD cry, PU, back to sleep fast
S 5:50-6:30 45min in arms
☆Reflux meds wore off? Wouldn't lie flat☆
A 6:30-7:35
E 6:36-52
S 8:00-9:50, failed PD 7:39, PD 7:56
EA 9:50-10:05, struggle to fall back asleep
S 10:20-11:50 (grunty, fidgety sleep)
A 11:52-2:00 (minus a catnap)
E 11:52-12:16 hiccups then fought sleep
E 12:36-45 fought sleep, catnap, awake
E 1:23-30
S 2:00-6:45 4.75h. She woke herself up.

Fri
A 6:45-8:00 Failed PD 7:45
E 6:45
S 8-10 2hr
A 10-11:10 bounced for 10m
E 10:11
S 11:10-12:30 1.25hr
A 12:30-1:45 Failed PD 1:39 arching/in pain
E 12:35
S 1:45-3:20 1.5hr
A 3:20-5:05 Failed PDs 4:32, 4:48-5:53, crying- reflux meds wore off?
E 3:28
S 5:05-6:15 fidgety at first
A 6:15- BT routine 7:15 PD failed
E 6:20, 6:56
S 7:20-10:20
A 10:20-12:00
E 10:20, 10:50
S 12-12:45 after 2 PD attempts
E 12:48
E 5:45
She seems to have went straight back to sleep but now I dread getting her up at 7 to start our day. She used to do 6-7.5hr stretches of sleep. I hope she gets back to that eventually...

[michaeljacknnugg]

She will, just maybe not yet. One step backwards for every two forwards, this is not a straight line kinda thing!

Your nights look alright to me, tbh. There's so much info on your days that I can't pick out the routine very easily but if you compare to the sample routines, how do you think it looks? I'm not great at typical routines as both of mine have had very long A times for their age and I tend to regard that as normal!

Here's our day at 18 weeks, if that helps:
A - 2.5hrs
S - 45 mins to 1.5hrs
A - 2.5 hrs
S - 45 mins to 1.5hrs
A - 2.5hrs
Catnap, 20-40 mins
Bed about an hour after he wakes, which is a bit of a rush

This is a good day for us and routine goes wonky more times than it goes like this, but this is what I'm aiming for.

[Seachelle1512]

She's been following the 3hr EAS cycle well with 50min-1hr10min awake time, depending on how long she takes to fall asleep. I've been waking her to eat so she is awake more during the day.  So the daytime routine goes well. Is it normal for them to not just go back to sleep at NFs once they've done EAS throughout the day?  Do they start to think they're never supposed to just go back to sleep after eating?
My extra notes are to help me figure A times that work and what works putting her to sleep. Princely could have just posted the times so it didn't look confusing.

[Seachelle1512]

I took your advice also and have taken her outside every time she's awake today. I think I'm noticing her tired cues better and she hasn't been hysterically OT in several days, but the A times sometimes vary still based on her lead.

I just worry (shocker, I know) about the nights because I'm definitely getting less sleep at a time. I even laid down last night at 9pm hoping she'd sleep til 11 again, but didn't fall asleep til 10, just for her to wake up at 10:30 go figure  She used to never struggle during NFs. Her day/night radar is definitely still off cause she does NOT want to wake at 7 and 10am but wants to stay awake after her 10pm feeding lol. Like the pedi said, she's keeping 'college party girl' hours- wants to be up till 3am and sleep till noon

[michaeljacknnugg]

Slowly slowly, one improvement at a time. Noticing her cues more easily is a big step!

At this age it's about surviving the lack of sleep. It sounds bonkers but I am in bed around 8.30at present and find it really does the trick. My days are super busy and I have very little chance to rest during naps, so I either read or sleep depending on how I feel. I'm in bed before my eight year old! He's up with daddy.