Big hugs, it sounds really tough for you at the moment. Do you have anyone nearby who could look after her at all for a few hours to give you a chance to rest in the day?
I handled the cluster feeds with boxsets and chocolate
That time feels like a blur now but I do remember finding it really hard. I remember trying to implement a night time routine around 6/7weeks and looking back I feel that we just created more stress for ourselves by trying to make J fit into what we thought she should be doing, when I just don't think she was ready for that yet. Sounds similar to your lo in how she was...ridiculously long cluster feeding sessions, upset and unable to settle in the evenings. But from all my nightime googling at the time I think it's a really normal thing for babies of this age.
I think it's doing whatever you can to encourage night time habits whilst balancing that with doing whatever helps get you through this stage (because she won't always only go to sleep at 1am, I promise!). Here's what I would probably do:
- try to get a consistent A time in the day to help prevent OT like mj&n recommended. But take each day as it comes, it might take a while to work out what works best for your lo.
- Use a wrap/sling for naps and evening times when baby won't settle...it was magical at that age for my lo. Don't worry too much about sleep associations at the moment - it's more important for baby (and you!) for her to sleep at the moment!
- Try to find ways that will help you cope with the late nights. E.g. friends or family taking your lo out for a couple of hours in the day for you to nap...you and your oh taking it in turns to do the settling in the evening. Sometimes just accepting something for what it is can be freeing...your lo will learn to sleep earlier but it might take some time for her to be ready for it. If you're going to be up until 1am, you may as well be getting to watch some movies or catch up on a book
- Do bedtime routines and keep things quiet and lights dimmed after that (within reason, you don't want to sit in a dark room for 6 hours! we watched telly but just had it on quietly) to help her learn when her night time is supposed to begin.
- Try to start the day around the same time each day.
With regards to the catnaps during the clusterfeeds, I would probably be wanting to encourage them if it's after the time you'd consider her bedtime.
I really hope I haven't just talked at you! It must be really hard for you knowing you'll be having to go to work in a couple of weeks, I really hope your lo starts to enjoy her sleep soon.
Some one else might have more advice re: EASY and cluster feeding at this age but I hope what I've said helps.
x