Author Topic: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!  (Read 1173 times)

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Offline eogan0622

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Hi,

My DD is 10 months old and for the past 2 months we have had a blissful schedule of sleep.  She has been taking great naps 90% of the time and sleeping wonderfully at night- even started STTN which was amazing.  She is EBF and is doing great with solids.  She is crawling and cruising like a maniac, and doesn't have any teeth yet.  One week ago, she came down with a cold and since then, it's been a miserable week. The first few days and nights I attributed to the congestion- she couldn't breathe and couldn't stay asleep.  We comforted her when she woke at night and let her snuggle and sleep upright on us for a few minutes.  But then something shifted.  And now, her congestion is better (not 100% but okay), but now she FREAKS OUT when it's time to go into the crib.  We wind down like usual, read a couple quiet books and sing a song, I put her down awake, and she screams.  Not a fussing cry, but a terrible screaming cry.  and NOTHING I do while she's in the crib works.  The second I pick her up she's fine and snuggling into me.  I'm wondering if this is a very sudden and intense onset of SA?  She does it at night as well and sometimes, when she's been up wailing for 1-2 hours, all I can do is nurse her back to sleep. It seems to be the only thing to settle her.  But I'm terrified of backtracking into a bad habit when we had a taste of such good sleep patterns!  Yesterday, she wailed and wailed despite all my efforts for her first nap so badly that she didn't even nap.  I got her up and then put her down for a nap a little while later, she slept 1 hour, and then bedtime early- SHE ONLY NAPPED 1 HOUR THE WHOLE DAY! I couldn't believe it.  She was her normal happy self during her A times.  But of course, she was up 1030-1145pm and then 415-445am.  Our day today has been the best in a week:

645: WU
9:15: Wind down, put down, cried and needed soothing until...
9:45-11:20: S
2:45- current: S (put down at 2:30, soothed and eventually she fussed herself to sleep, it's been 45 mins so far)

What can I do?!?!  I'm weary of extending A times since she is so OT from the past week.  But this behavior feels like it has come TOTALLY out of the blue.  I'm not ruling out teething, since she hasn't gotten any yet and has been quite bitey/chewy during the day, but she's not fussy otherwise!

Any tips would be great :)

Thanks!

Offline kiwi-mum

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2016, 00:57:45 am »
Hey,

I haven't really got any answers for you, but am feeling your pain as I'm having sleep problem atm. Do you remember reading about how to recover from cio? You could try that to regain her confidence maybe? I hope you get some answers soon!

Good luck

Offline eogan0622

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2016, 01:40:05 am »
Thanks for your support!  We've never let her CIO- while she's crying, myself or my DH are either holding her or maintaining contact with her while she's in the crib.  We let her go with her fussing/mantra cry for about 5 mins if it even goes that long...

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2016, 01:46:08 am »
Oh no sorry, didn't mean that. Just that the method might help you with the SA :)

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2016, 11:34:26 am »
Hi there, sorry to hear you're having a difficult time just after you were all settled into a lovely predictable routine!!

A number of things come to mind:
- illness and recovery can take longer than we expect.  Sometimes LOs don't feed so well during illness and whilst they might take on enough to keep themselves hydrated they may need to make up for lost calories by having extra feeds during recovery
- illness and developmental ages often bring on SA which you've already mentioned, you're doing the right thing responding and giving more help when she needs it.  SA is just a normal phase we help them through, tiring for us but the more you respond the more her confidence will grow... so keep doing what you are doing
- the cruising is a big step, greater ability to get around can bring on SA, it's a great instinct really and keeps LOs close to their parents rather than cruising off to fall over the edge of a cliff (OK there are no cliffs in your house).  she also has a lot of development to process which can have a big impact on sleep.
- teething, sometimes teeth can be on the move even if the gums are not showing signs, teeth move on and off for a long time
- 10 months is a prime time for sleep to go off track, very common, there is a good chance you've hit this stage at the same time as the illness so it's all a bit of a jumble and confusing.  10 months is often the time when LOs need a routine change as they begin the process of dropping a nap.  They can retain 2 naps for quite some time yet (ages vary) but some routine tweaking may be needed to get you back onto something settled and predictable
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

Looking at your EAS times, the A looks very short for age.  This might be because you have reduced the A due to her illness or because you are worried about OT from lost sleep, or it might be because she was previously doing very well on this time - but now isn't.  The freaking out at crib time suggests to me she is UT (under tired) and can look like cot fear or SA when it might be as 'simple' as her trying to tell you she is not ready to sleep yet.  A times at 10 months are 3-4 hrs, some get more.
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
I see in your EAS times you tried for the first nap at something like 2hr 30 but she did not go to sleep until 3hrs.  30 mins of her refusing and you trying to sooth her can feel like a very long time.  I know you are cautious to extend A time due to her illness etc, but if you feel she is better now I would go ahead and increase to minimum 3hr A time.  If she is used to a long WD for naps then continue as you have previously done but if she is refusing then perhaps take her back out of the room, do another 15 mins A time and try again. Some LO do well on a short WD and can get quite frustrated if taken into the dark room too soon.

Sometimes with these routine changes the NWs and naps only settle once the A time is extended so it can be a tricky patch of being extra tired from NWs but needing a longer A to resolve the day and night sleep. Hope that makes sense.

hope this helps :)


Offline eogan0622

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2016, 15:03:39 pm »
Thank you so much for your advice.  I was keeping a short A time first thing because she had been up so much throughout the night and I knew she was exhausted.  It's been a long and pretty exhausting couple weeks.  For about 10 days, she was unable to go into the crib without screaming, and no amount of calming worked.  We ended up having to hold her in the chair until she was asleep, and then transfer her back into the crib.  It was brutal and I was feeling so terrible and guilty for having to do this after working so hard to NOT do this for 10 months.  But, luckily, this week that spell broke and she is now able to go down for naps and bedtime awake and put herself to sleep with some minor fussing. 

BUT

The nightwakings have not gone away and she is still sometimes up for over 1.5 hours at night unable to resettle and impossible to put back in her crib.  We are more exhausted than when she was a newborn.  She is standing in her crib (stands occassionally by herself during the day, not walking yet, but maybe soon) and CAN NOT settle in the middle of the night.  We don't know what to do.  It's so frustrating.  We have ended up having to hold her, nurse her, and do whatever we can to get her back down but it takes forever and no one is well rested. Is this a situation for walk in/walk out?  I know ideally we shouldn't be picking her up out of the crib but this is not a fussing cry, it's a hysterical screaming cry, so I don't know what to do????

Here's a sample of her EASY over the past few days:

Thurs:
6:30A: WU for day
9:30-10:50: S
2:15-3:40: S
7:00: S (for bedtime)--->  NW 12:55-1:14 (short)

Friday:
5:30: WU for the day (normally would have tried to feed and put back to sleep but with time change this weekend trying to get her to bed a little earlier Friday and Saturday to compensate....)
8:20-10:10: S
1:50-2:50: S
6:40: S (for bedtime, again, time change, wanted to put down earlier anyways) --> NW 1:20-2:50 AM (!!!)

Today:
6:15: WU for day
9:05-current time: S  (still asleep).


Any advice so greatly appreciated.

Thanks

PS STILL no tooth, but really sure it's coming...

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2016, 19:13:27 pm »
I know ideally we shouldn't be picking her up out of the crib but this is not a fussing cry, it's a hysterical screaming cry, so I don't know what to do?
I'd just pick her up. I always picked mine up even if he only needed a very quick cuddle then back down, if he was upset I knew he wouldn't settle without a quick pick up, that's how he was, and still a great independent sleeper.

It seems either it's that tooth or perhaps the 2-1 nap transition causing the NWs.
Did you read the 2-1 link I gave you? Did any of it sound familiar? helpful?
What do you think?


Offline eogan0622

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2016, 20:37:42 pm »
Hi,

Yes, I did read that over.  However, none of it particularly resonates- her naps seem pretty decent.  The struggle is the long night wakings...and how to handle them!  I wish it was a quick cuddle and put back down but it's such a long stretch that I just don't know what to do.  I end up nursing her and holding her until she goes to sleep and placing her back in crib.  I just can't settle her!

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2016, 10:59:01 am »
OK. I've asked for some fresh eyes to pop over to see if there are more thoughts.

My thoughts are still linked to either teething or a routine tweak needed in the journey towards 2-1.
I know you've worked hard to get the naps back on track but it may be at the expense of night sleep. Often LOs are heading towards 1 long and 1 short nap at this age so you might keep the longer nap 1.5 - 2 hr and reduce the shorter nap down to say 45 mins.

The struggle is the long night wakings...and how to handle them!  I wish it was a quick cuddle and put back down but it's such a long stretch that I just don't know what to do.
For now there isn't much else you can do other than keep supporting her.  Teething can certainly cause long NWs but so can UT.  If she is getting more day sleep than she needs this will effect her ability to resettle at night.


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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2016, 09:35:14 am »
Just letting you know, I've been in contact with another mod who agrees the long NWs at this age may be a sign she needs less sleep in the day, reducing one nap to 45 mins and keeping the other long. As I suggested above.
Do you feel ready to give that a shot?


Offline eogan0622

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2016, 13:29:49 pm »
Thanks for taking the time to look this over! I really appreciate it.  I am certainly willing to give it a try. The nightwakings the past 2 nights have been *better* and shorter- but still, they are night wakings. 

Any tips on which nap to cap?  Is it if the first one is longer you cap the second? Any benefit of having the second one being shorter since its closer to BT?

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Re: 10 month old suddenly SCREAMING while going down for naps/bed!
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2016, 19:10:50 pm »
If one is usually shorter than the other I'd cap that one and maintain the longer one.  or you can choose based on family activities, mum and baby groups/classes that sort of thing.  Just don't chop and change that's all, you want her to know the routine and have predictability for both of you.
I kept the morning nap long as my DS had always done a great 2hr nap in the morning, it fitted with our groups and activities and I always felt more relaxed about the rest of the day knowing he'd had a good nap.  I always think capping the morning nap is a risk because you cap it and then if something happens later in the day to disturb the afternoon nap then LO ends up with 2 short naps where as with long morning nap if something goes wrong you can always try to make up for it in the afternoon. Hope that makes sense, lots of people are very happy with a short morning nap, just not my personal preference.