Author Topic: I don't know where I have gone wrong.  (Read 2221 times)

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Offline choc

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I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« on: March 04, 2016, 14:45:11 pm »
Everything was going so well a few weeks back. Great naps after 2hr30 A time. Then it was school half term so we took our eldest out and about a bit and los routine got a bit messed up. Then he was poorly and now I can't seem to get back on track. His naps are short but all different lengths, 1hr15, 1hr20, 45 mins you name it he's done it. I can't ever resettle him, when I used to be able to.   I thought undertired so increased A to 2hr45 and no change. He is whinging and grumpy all day. He goes straight to sleep for naps. When he wakes he isn't happy so I thought OT and went back to 2hr30 A. No change again. I've tried shortening A after a short nap and that makes no difference either. I am so so lost. He is 25 weeks old.
I don't know what else to try.
Today is this
Wu 6. 45
S 9.30 to 10.30 couldn't resettle  woke happy ish
S 1.15 to 2pm woke still so tired, crying, not opening eyes whilst I tried to resettle for 40 mins. I also gave calpol before this nap to rule out teeth.
That's where we are today.
Yesterday was
Wu 6.15 out of cot about 7am so worked with half A time
S 9.20 to 10.40
S 1.25 to 2.50
S 5 to 5.30
S 7pm
Wu 3.45 to 5.15 crying and playing on and off
Up for day at 6.45
Gemma



Offline Bella89

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2016, 11:15:25 am »
Hi there,
I am sorry you have such a hard time. It can really get to us, right?!

What I am thinking right now, is that he is probably slowly going into 3-2 transition. It doesn't mean he is there yet, just that he is getting older;]
Look at the link below:
All about the 3-2 transition- 5/6 months
It might be confusing, because he is not refusing naps or waking happy. I am not 100% sure, but I know my DS was going through that transition just like yours. That's why I was struggling with it so much:/

I think you were right about increasing A time. It can give you no results at the beginning. There are some LOs that adjust to that change positively after a week! I know my DS let me wait for it, eh.

Also, I wouldn't worry about naps longer than 1h. During the transition naps 1h 15min or 1h 25 min are really normal.

What do you think? You want to try again with me?

Offline choc

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2016, 13:45:40 pm »
It's good to know that length nap is ok, we had 1hr10 this morning. I would love to try again, thank you so much! So after any nap over 1 hour can I do a full A time? Not that I know what the A time is! Also if he has had  a bad night  and woken early then perhaps dropped off for 30 mins or so before getting up for the day, is it OK to do a full  Atime then too? Hope that makes sense.
We have just kept him up for 2hr45  after a 1hr10 min  nap and he has fallen asleep on dh. That has never happened before! This morning has been like this
NW around 5am to 6.30 awake on and off. Back to sleep til 7.30 when I woke him.
S 9.50 (dh put him down early when I was out)  to 11am
S 1.45 to? This is where he dropped off on dh.
Gemma



Offline Bella89

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2016, 19:49:01 pm »
This is my personal experience, but I treated anything above 1h a normal nap, so A time was normal.

After a bad night I was always kind to DS so tried to keep that first A time reasonable. It is normal that he will be sleepy sooner, so there is no point in torturing him with schedule:) That goes for illness and long jurneys too in our family :)

Glad to hear something positive happening over there:)

Just a hint - sometimes during the transition it is good to use that abnormal things that happen once in a while. So i.e. if he is asleep at 7:30 I wouldn't wake him. When my DS slept till 8:30 once in a while it assured me that he is well rested to start the transition. So you are 100% sure that he can do full A time. That was when I wanted to change his routine. Does that make sense? Of course it's only when you don't have to wake him to go out etc.

Let's see what will happen :)

Offline choc

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2016, 19:55:59 pm »
Ok, so today and yesterday I let him sleep in in the morning so I did the right thing there then! Last night again a 1hr30 on off nw but he was back asleep by 5.30 and woke at 7.40 so I went ahead with an A time of 2hr45 and got a 1hr10 nap. Couldn't resettle. We visited family for the restrest of the day so it wasn't normal routine.
Should I stick with 2hr45 again in the morning if the night isn't too bad?
Gemma



Offline choc

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2016, 10:09:07 am »
Last night  he woke at 1.30am until 2.15am, he dropped back off after I gave paracetamol so I'm wondering if teeth are involved! Because he then slept solidly until 7.15am I went for 2hr45 A time again even though it only gave 1hr10 nap yesterday. He had a hard time dropping off, rolling about and screeching/grumbling/crying. Then he started mantra crying and dropped off at about 2hr50 A time. Do you think I put him down too early and that's why he struggled? He used to drop straight off after a minute of chatting. It was about 10 mins today and he wasn't happy! I'll update with how long the nap is!

Updated to say the nap was just under 45 mins. Oh dear!

Updating again to say after the less than 45 min nap I reduced next A to 2.30 and got another 45 mins nap. Do you think I am just really underestimating his A time?
« Last Edit: March 07, 2016, 14:19:57 pm by choc »
Gemma



Offline Bella89

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2016, 16:45:08 pm »
No, I don't think so. It's unlikely he can play for 3.5h, so keeping it close to 3h should be ok I think. 2:45 is not bad.
Does he look like he is tired, crying? When you put him down is he more of distracted or uncomfortable?

After you told me about paracetamol, I wonder if it's just teething or something going on... I think when he had that 45 min nap he could be OT. Because he had such a hard time faling asleep. If he would be chatty, happy that would mean UT. Does that make sense?

Offline choc

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2016, 18:20:15 pm »
I did use teething gel before the second nap but obviously made no difference!
He always seems to be whinging anyway so it's hard to tell when he is actually tired. He was playing in his cot at the beginning of the second nap for ten mins and woke happy.

What should I do next then? Try 3hrs A?
Gemma



Offline Bella89

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2016, 18:45:00 pm »
Teething gel never worked for us either:/

Did he go for his first nap ok? How lond did it last? If it was decent leave that A time as is right now. If he starts waking up earlier that means you need to increase first A time.

If he played before second nap that means UT so increase that A time by 15 min. Let's see if it does the trick:)

How about that last nap?

Offline choc

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2016, 19:30:21 pm »
Today 1st A was 2hr 30 and got 1hr nap.  I'm Kind of happy with that though as it means I can fit in a decent nap before school run.  Second A was 2hr 45 and I had to wake him after 1hr45mins to go on school run. Then I did 2hr A and a catnap which I had to wake from. So today was this
Wu 7am
S 9.30 to 10.30
S 1.15 to 3 had to wake him
S 5 to 5.45
Bt 7

I am a little worried about the catnap though as I am getting 4am/5am wake ups and not sure if catnap is the culprit. But with a school run at 3pm to 3.40pm I'm limited in what I can do. I don't want to do a later bedtime if possible as his brother goes down at 7.30 so it would be very difficult.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2016, 19:32:11 pm by choc »
Gemma



Offline Bella89

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2016, 20:10:36 pm »
I am a little worried about the catnap though as I am getting 4am/5am wake ups and not sure if catnap is the culprit.
It feels to me like EW is caused by short first A time. I know you were hesitant about increasing it, but I know it helped us :/

We can do only what we can do. Later BT never makes sense and in a long run doesn't help with anything. I would try that first A time and not going longer than 6pm with cat nap. If you will increase A times that 3rd nap will eventually disappear and these remaining 2 will be longer:)

What do you think?You want to give it a try?

Offline choc

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2016, 21:27:58 pm »
I know what you are saying in theory is right but it won't work that way for us because of the school run. Once his 2nd nap falls after 1.30 pm he won't get a  long nap. So even when he gets to a 3hr A time for example first nap at 10am til 12, will need to manage a 3hr 45 min A before I can offer him the next nap. That's if we go with 2 long naps to push out the catnap.
Can reducing the length of the first nap help the ew?

The other day I tried 3hr A first thing, he went down at 10.30 slept til 12.30 which was great but then I couldn't get him down again til 3.45 which meant no time for another long nap before 7pm bed anyway!
Gemma



Offline choc

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2016, 06:49:36 am »
Also when I looked through the example routines people had posted for 6 months, pretty much every single one had a nap at 9.30 and 1.30.
Gemma



Offline Bella89

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2016, 23:25:15 pm »
Hi there,
Sorry you waited so much, but I really had to give it some thought...

Well, different routines work for different LOs. We're trying to find whatever works for your family.
From every post you send over I feel like he is going over 3-2 transition, and it doesn't metter how much we will try to give him 3 naps, soon he will rebel it enough:/

Normally this would be your goal at the end of this transition:
7 WU
10-12 nap1
3-4:30 or 5 nap2
7 BT

But you can do
7 WU
10-12
4-5:30
7:00 BT
...

i think the key is here: you pushed that A time and the naps got longer, 1.15min naps worried you right?

What if we tried this for the next few days:
7 WU
10:15-12:... Nap1
2 offer nap
4:00 offer nap when you're back from school run
7BT

What do you think?

Offline choc

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Re: I don't know where I have gone wrong.
« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2016, 00:54:04 am »
Thank you so  much for thinking about it! I am happy to try this. If he excepts the 2pm nap and say I wake him at 3 for the school run, do I then keep him up til bedtime? If he refuses the 2pm nap then I'll offer a nap at 4pm? And how long would I let him sleep?
Gemma