3.5m-old needs constant entertainment - Is it normal?

[katerinask]

Our very active, very curious, very advanced 3.5 month old, needs CONSTANT entertainment during A time, making it impossible to do anything else while she's awake. She will not sit in her bouncer for more than a couple of minutes, unless there is some sort of show being put on by us for her! She can amuse herself on her own for a couple of minutes when we attach the dangling toys to it and she enjoys being near the window as well (but again, only for a couple of minutes). She also likes her little gymnasium-thingy and can stay there for a bit longer.

She is quite vocal as well and will start with the "nyeh nyeh" sounds when she is ready to change (2-3 minutes later), and she gets more and more aggravated the longer we let her stay. What she really wants is to be held (or in the baby carrier facing forward) and to be walked around the house, around all the windows, etc. I try and get some light house work done (picking things up, clearing up the kitchen etc) while she's hanging there. She also loves to be sitting on her bum (she can do that with very little support now) and held up to stand (she can really carry her weight on her legs as well).

My question is:
Is this normal? I've heard of other babies being taken to work with their mums and I just can't imagine our LO sitting still like that! Should I try to encourage her to sit on her own, or is that just cruel for a baby with so much interest in everything? Is this a skill that can be learned (like falling asleep alone) or is it simply dependant on temperament which you should't try to alter?

Your thoughts and suggestions would be much appreciated! (Can you tell that I'm a first time mum?  )

THANK YOU!!!

[deb]

Hi and welcome to motherhood!

Babies come with lots of different personalities, and it sounds like you have an interactive Little One! (My second was like this, while my first would rather be left alone. LOL ) Have you taken the Personality Quiz yet to see what your baby's temperament is? Can a moderator maybe link to it - I can't find it ATM.

[katerinask]

Thanks for the quick response!

So do you think that this is something you have to accept as part of a baby's personality or do you think it is something that we should try and teach our LOs, despite their initial inclination? I'm wondering whether it's an important skill that she will find useful along the way (e.g. playing alone or just sitting being content without constant attention)...

Haven't tried the Personality Quiz... I'll look around for it!

[katerinask]

Did you mean this? > The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"

When I was reading Tracy's book I figured our LO was something between Angel & Textbook, with some hints of Spirited. I just took the test and it pretty much agrees. So overall an easy/predictable baby, with a more spirited temperament when it comes to A time!

[Buntybear]

Our DS was like this - it is only now that he has turned 6 that he can play on his own for a bit! It was very tiring TBH.

Have a look at this link. I think ti is important for them to be able to entertain themselves for short periods at least,

Cycle of Activity-Help Build Independent Playtime

[katerinask]

You mean 6 YEARS old, not months I assume?  We still have some way to go then!

The post regarding independent playtime is interesting, thank you. I guess I've been trying to do that as well, but wasn't sure whether it's right to try and encourage this or not. So, gathering from what you've said and what the post explains, it IS a skill and it IS important, so I will keep that in mind during the coming months.

[weaver]

she's only 3 mos! Most 3 mos need constant attention

You can encourage independence a bit at this age, but there's not much she can do for herself, so patience is needed.  I would really follow her lead on physical milestones like sitting and standing. She'll do it when she's ready, and her body is ready. Let her see what she can do for herself rather than doing it for her.
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/03/9-reasons-not-to-walk-babies/

[creations]

The cycle of Activity link is a great one. You can encourage independent play but at this age it's unlikely to be more than the 2 - 3 mins she's doing already and I think the link explains it isn't forcing them to play alone which helps but always returning which helps, just like with sleep.

I wouldn't lift her to her feet, I think Anne (weaver) has linked something for you on that. Floor play, crawling, etc is so much more important than getting to her feet before she's ready.  She can sit very early!  If  she really is ahead on sitting you could introduce some books and pictures to look at whilst sitting (it's a bit hard to look at them laying down).  Mine couldn't sit until 5.5 months and even then was wobbly but as soon as he found his stability he looked at books, loved them. Or introduce some busy boxes. Busy boxes are great, just put in anything safe for her to rummage in, she can practise picking up and dropping stuff, and just investigating. Might be more interest for her than the real toys.  If she's not ready for them yet keep in in mind for the coming months.

[weaver]

I'm thinking back to 3.5 mos - mostly lying on the floor in A time! Either with a simple wooden baby gym to look at (that wouldn't last long before they wanted it moved) or with things that they could possibly reach for and try to pick up. A teddy just out of reach but in sight, that sort of thing.  And a bit of playing with me too, we sang a lot of silly songs, and played a wee bit of peep.  But I was careful to give them time to be alone and amuse themselves too.   

Creations is completely right about the things they need to practice - at this age they're building up core and other muscles so that they will be eventually able to sit unaided, crawl etc, and so on. Both of mine did a lot of wriggling about on the floor, grabbing feet and trying to eat them working on coordination of hand and mouth, practising pushing up on the arms, trying to push with the feet, etc.  All that picking stuff up and putting in their mouths is preparation for feeding themselves.  If you want to help her with physical exertions, what she needs right now is tummy time, not much more.  Neither of mine did any sitting, other than on my knee, until 5.5 mos when they were able to sit on their own, quite suddenly!

I'm wondering if the places she is sitting maybe don't allow her much wriggle room - as in, is she strapped in a chair, got something over her etc?  I would try letting her stretch out and kick.  The next time she says 'nyeh nhey' to the gym thingy, just move it and let her lie there and figure out her next move. Lie down on the floor beside her if you want to, but hang back. Tracy would say 'start as you mean to go on' so try to avoid getting into the habit of constantly entertaining her.  I appreciate that's easier said than done, but try to hang back and show her that she can have low-key fun too. 

[katerinask]

Hi everyone and thanks for the great suggestions!

Don't get me wrong, we don't prop her up in a sitting position and leave her on her own. When I say "sitting" I mean sitting on my knee either facing me or facing outward. But she is SO strong and has been from the very beginning. She lifted her head up and turned the very first day she was born and everyone was shocked. Now, when sitting on my lap and facing me, she will grab on to my index fingers with both her hands and lift her self up to standing position all by her self. I don't have much experience with other babies, but whoever sees it is absolutely amazed.

To be fair, it is mostly the bouncer she doesn't tolerate that much, so maybe @weaver you are right and she doesn't like being restricted. She will crunch up and bring her head forward trying to sit up, but she's strapped in so can't really move. The activity mat she has, is more fun because she can lie on her back and grab the dangling toys, but it doesn't leave much room for wriggling about. So I will try a less restrictive set up with toys scattered around. She already flips from tummy to back quite easily, and she really lifts her whole body up with her hands. So she might enjoy having the extra space around her!

I totally agreed with the "start as you mean to go on bit" in the books, and that's why I was beginning to think that we may have to encourage more independent time, with mummy around of course, but not always singing/dancing/being silly (although I do love being silly with her ).

[creations]

she will grab on to my index fingers with both her hands and lift her self up to standing position all by her self.

Mine didn't do this until more like 4.5 months, coincidentally it was the same week I took him to see a paediatric osteopath who saw this happen and warned me of the 'dangers' of this and the need for more floor time pulling and rolling themselves around rather than getting up on their feet...I stopped 'helping' him that day (although it was little help but without my hands he had to learn to get himself to a piece of furniture to get this support for standing so he worked a lot more muscles, built core muscle and developed great coordination etc in doing so).

So I will try a less restrictive set up with toys scattered around. She already flips from tummy to back quite easily, and she really lifts her whole body up with her hands. So she might enjoy having the extra space around her!

Yes I think she really will

[weaver]

Don't get me wrong, we don't prop her up in a sitting position and leave her on her own.

Didn't think you did, don't worry!  Thinking back, I used the wee bouncy chair, or indeed baby chairs at all, very rarely.  A shade more with LO2 but that was just when she needed to be somewhere while me and 2 yo ate, and she couldn't be lying on the hard kitchen floor.  I think the less her movements are restricted, the more she'll have fun exploring her own capabilities.  She'll be able to see more of the world and of herself without the play gym over her.  They're nice things, but not necessary all the time.  Sounds like she's got great muscle development already, another good reason why you don't need to rush