Weaning when your baby won't drink from bottle or cup

[Aking]

Hi there,
My son will e one this month and I'm thinking of weaning him. Due to circumstance, I never got him on a bottle as my husband was at work and it was more effort to pump and feed rather than breastfeed, plus I loved the bonding experience.
However now I don't know what to do. He's not showing any interest in stopping. i have tried introducing water in a sippy cup at 7 months and he only still bites it and isn't interested. He maybe gets a few sips. He is best with a regular glass but then often gets a huge overflow!
My husband and my mom have tried to bottle feed with breast ill and even formula but he will take none of it.
I don't know what to do as I'm worried he won't drink enough and how do I wean with this issue?
And how do I wean? Day feeds first by just cutting them out and offering more food and water or cows milk?
Any advice would be great. Thanks.

[jessmum46]

Hi there, just offering my experience in case it helps so first of all although breast milk obviously has health benefits and you can continue as long as you wish, there is no particular *need* for babies to have lots of milk after the age of one year.  At that stage it is less of a food and more of a drink/source of calcium. Both my babies were EBF, no bottles, and what made the process a lot easier was realising I didn't *have* to replace the feeds with equal volumes of milk in order to meet their nutritional needs.  Water is a perfectly good drink (mine didn't take much until mainly weaned - I think because they weren't actually thirsty until I was breastfeeding less so you may find the same) and calcium can be obtained from lots of dairy and non-dairy sources eg brocolli.  The fat in milk which LOs also need in their diets can be obtained from other sources too

So in terms of dropping feeds I just went with a 'don't offer' policy. So I think it was mid afternoon first, just offered a drink and snack and some distraction instead.  A week or two later the same with mid-morning etc etc. I tried replacing the bedtime milk with a cup of cows milk but DD went mad so I gave that up with quickly! Just made sure she had a drink downstairs before bedtime routine - I offered an oz or two of cows milk in a sippy which she sometimes tried, sometimes not.  Then once all feeds dropped I found water intake was much better, and also gradually over a few weeks they both started taking to cows milk so I'd offer a small sippy of it with breakfast and after dinner.

Hope that helps x

[*Ali*]

Check out our Weaning FAQ Weaning

A straw cup is often a success with EBF babies. Or even a straw in a regular glass.

Also know that if you and baby are enjoying the BFING experience there is no need to wean anytime soon. Breastmilk is still an excellent source of nutrition in the second year and helps provide immunity until baby's own immune system is full developed. You can always carry on until baby is ready to cut down or reduce feeds. Or if you *want* to wean now, of course that is different and perfectly ok too. 

[Aking]

Thanks. I have managed to get some water in him and Breast milk from a type of straw sippy but not much. He's just not interested and not interested in stopping Breast feeding.
I'm having trouble with his sleep as the instant he starts to breastfeed he really gets dozy. I have tried in the light, out of his room,
With his brother making noise etc but he associates it with sleep. Now come sleep training it is NOt goin well as we have gone off track twice because of extremely high fever sicknesses.
I'd like to get him on a bottle at least so my husband or a baby sitter could feed him.
But he just won't take it.
Ali

[jessmum46]

I'm assuming from your answer that you definitely do want to wean and that continuing to breastfeed isn't an option you are keen on? Or would you consider perhaps a halfway option of breastfeeding morning and bedtime and weaning the rest?

Can I just ask - is feeding always part of his sleep routine for bed and nap time?  That might just affect how you approach weaning as it could be more of a sleep training issue than a hunger/nutrition one.  Does he ask to feed at times not related to sleep?

How does your typical daytime routine go?  Where do feeds fit in? Just thinking that may give us some ideas for example if he often asks mid-morning I'd suggest you get out somewhere where he will be distracted and offer a snack with water. 

Will look forward  to your answers x

[Aking]

Hi there,
Gosh everything seems to be a mess to be honest. I'm feeling like a flop when it comes to my second as my first I really stuck with sleep training and it worked so well and he's been the best sleeper ever since. With my second everything was just a mess from the beginning because of house moves. My husband wakin to work in the middle of the night. My son's room right next to ours and no door on our room.... Sickness and just an overall struggle to juggle two kids.

Right now my son is wailing but I know he is overtired. I keep doing checks and he just will NOT settle.
My other son is totally sick and I'm having an awful time on my own trying to keep these little ones happy and healthy.
Sorry..... I'm just having a hard time.

So usually my day with my second looks something like this.....
He wakes at 7am
(But is still waking at 3am and because I don't have help ad I'm too exhausted to sleep train right now I feed him (though I really don't want to anymore as I'm so tired). He settles right away and sleeps until about 7am
He's awake usually for four hours 7-11.
I feed him when he wakes and also breakfast about an hour later.
Then I have tried to cut the 11 feed as his nap or right then. I give a snack before bed and put him down. That nap usually goes well. He will sleep for about 1.5 hours.
Then when he wakes I feed him and give him lunch as well.
Then about 430 he's ready for another nap but this one is much harder. He doesn't usually want to go. And usually I end up feeding him a bit to settle him as he wont go otherwise.
Then I have to wake him from this nap because he won't go to sleep otherwise.
At 45 min mark I wake him 515 and then I try to put him to bed for 730-8. But that's not going well either.
Everything honestly changes every day and it sucks because he either isn't tired enough or he's so tired that he falls asleep feeding and then that's the worst for sleep training.
He is wailing right now because he woke at 530 and its 750 right now and he's maybe not tired enough. But then he also seems to almost fall asleep every time I feed him.

For example....
Today I had to run errands because I needed food for my son as his throat is so inflamed that he needs soft foods and liquids. My son fell to sleep for fifteen mins in the car. I tried to put him straight into the crib ad he wasn't having it at all. I tried to soothe him but forty mins later I got him up as he wasn't tired. Or he was wired. Who knows. Then I tried again a bit later and it went on like this until I finally fed him and then he fell asleep and went into bed semi asleep. And slept from 4-530 (and I woke him at this time). Then by 730 he was aggressive and hyper and usually that means he's overtired.
I put him to bed and have even doing checks as I write this and finally I picked him up. Rocked with him for about five minutes and he was settled with his head in my shoulder which he rarely does. Then he cried again when I put him down but now a minute later is asleep. Thank the Lord!

So yes I'm happy to feed at morn and night and if I could just cut the night feed and day feeds I'd be thrilled. I'm happy to pump but he won't take a bottle from anyone!
It seems the only sleep he doesn't feed near to is the morning nap and that's his best one.
So... My question I guess is what should my day routine look like for him? He also did a few days of one solid nap for almost three hours mid day which I know is early to transition but I'm just totally lost on what to do. Any help would be amazing. I can't afford a sleep consultant though I really would love one now as I'm just ready to get my sleep back (and you got me on a bad night because I've had a week of sickness and it's been tough on my son which never makes me feel good!)
Thanks

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

We made the jump to one nap prior to age one with all 3 kids, so might be worth pursuing that routine more. If the nw is more from being ut then that might help solve it.

[Aking]

Ok so what would a typical day look like then if I go to one nap?
What the ideal because it did seem to work well for him but then he had a short nap and I had to do a second one and then his bedtime got pushed later.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Have a look here: From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older) and then perhaps post over on the Toddler Sleep board so we can get more eyes on the sleep/routine end of things for you there!

[jessmum46]

Hey Hun, sounds like you are having a rough time of it right now- ((hugs)). I do think having a look at the routine is a good idea, sleep training is really only effective when LO is tired, but not too tired.  Nothing on earth will make a not-yet-tired baby sleep, and even the best independent sleepers will need help at times when overtired.  Don't be afraid to offer that help, even when independent sleep is the ultimate goal. What you want is for him to know that you will always respond when he really needs you, so that gives him the confidence and security to do it on his own.  What sort of sleep training have you been trying?  Just wondering if there's something there we might be able to help you with too? Has he ever gone to sleep on his own previously?

[AJK]

Thanks Jess,
I just reposted.... I'm having a tough time with my LO's sleep. It's gone totally out the window. I posted the two alternative routines that I have been trying... depending on how long his naps are they need to be altered.

The sleep training has been sort of a controlled check. He starts kicking and screaming and going crazy if I stay in the room. He still goes crazy when I do the checks and often think it makes it worse... But I do them anyway. I try not to pick him up. Originally we did this around 7 months and it worked so well. He slept through the night, the crying was minimal, etc. it was great. My husband did the checks too. Then he got sick. I had to feed him as doctor told me to because he was suffering from an extremely high fever and not eating, etc. Then we tried again... with less success. I went back to feeding him for his 3am NW. Then he got sick again with something different and I hadn't the heart to let him cry, so I fed him again for his NW and always during his bedtime routine, however... he is a quick to sleep buy when breastfeeding. He doesn't fall to sleep... but he is VERY drowsy and so I think that's the problem.
My routine is a mess too because the feeds seem to happen right before he goes to sleep in the day too and so I have to change that around.

(He's finally fallen to sleep after an hour of in and out checks... he was SO mad). I tried everything to soothe and console him.

[Martini~]

Just wanted to offer my experience in weaning (or rather my friends) who were weaning just at age 1. Usually what helps is consistency - so mothers usually stop breast feeding, they try cup or a bottle, baby is not interested so they give up. Meantime those mothers who I can and they keep offering milk for 1/2 weeks even if baby is not interested start seeing results.
I remember a lady who stopped feeding at 6mo and her baby refused formula in a bottle and her doctor told her it is fine :O. But when she was advised to be consistent and offered bottle every single day with small amounts at the beginning - after two weeks baby was taking normal 150-200ml feeds.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I see your new post is in the bf forum...I am going to move it to Toddler Sleep to get more eyes on it sleep wise!

[jessmum46]

Hugs, sorry it's a tough time for you . Hope you get some good advice over on the sleep thread x