A little guidance 🙏🏼

[FPT23]

I'll attempt the wearing I suppose!

Have things became somewhat predictable with your 6 wk old? I've given in to all rocking and some nursing to sleep because, I need to survive

Only predictable thing now is the morning nap (give or take) and the late afternoon ones but they sure aren't catnaps! I need to wake to feed him. Or cluster feed.

Question:
The dream feed. I stopped it BC it would wake him and I would stay up and extra 1-2 hours getting him asleep. So he goes down around 9ish, wakes at around 2am (normally can do a 5hr stretch on a good night)

But lately, he wakes soon as I put down and we are up till 5am .....what do u do for nights like this? I ended up bringing him to bed and let him nurse away! (Use me as a paci) ...but I don't want to form that habit or nursing as I kno how haaaaard it is to wean. Then, if he does go back down, he wakes around 5-6am.... Feeds but tends to also be harder to get back to sleep. Is that his wake for the day you think??? If I get him back to sleep he's up when toddler is around 7-7:30 but won't eat much since he had just ate. What do you make of this? When more or less does the 2am feed drop? And any suggestions w the dream feed? When he wouldn't wake during the DF, he would wake until 4-5am then 7 or so but I'm scared to DF since he's so hard to put down. Not settle, but he won't have it if he wakes after PD.

[Haribo2012]

Most predictable is the crying  no really he prob sleeps better in the afternoon but that's about the only thing I can bank on but like now he's been asleep ages and could do with a feed but I'm enjoying the peace.

Sounds like our night, only time I stay up now is if feed is around 10pm. I'd prob rock him to sleep after 2am feed and hold for 20 mins to get him into deep sleep then put down. It all sounds very similar to our nights, last night we fed at 9.15pm, 1.45am then 5am then he was up till 6.15 and asleep on my DH then till 7.30am. My DS1 wakes about 6.15 so no rest ha ha!

I think the 2am dropping varies from baby to baby....my DS1 didn't drop till 5 months but my friends dropped at 10 weeks. I'd not bother with DF if it doesn't extend the night feed wake up time!?

[FPT23]

Mine too!

He took a long morning nap. Also due for feeding but enjoyed it... But then I ended up waking bc from awake time to the nap, it was too long without. I don't want him making up for the feeds at night lately it also seems that he sleeps better at night as well. He stopped the whole long evenings after I consistently (somewhat) started his day early. That was my initial concern when I wrote the post... But I think BC of his clock, adjusting. But when we start our day early (when DS1 wakes) instead of letting him sleep in, he does better in the evenings and settles easier and is more "tired" ...in a sense. Even though I'm sure his day and nights haven't established yet, it's worked better.

See, I don't know what category of personality my baby is! DS1 was textbook. I mean, he was predictable and did everything by the book. Easy to transition into things (not sooooo easy with props but crib transition, breast to bottle to cup etc) ......anyways, DS2 settles easy. Once he's held he's pretty good. Getting him to sleep can take sometime, he jolts a lot (he's still swaddled. Miracle blanket) ...but it's when I put down! He can go on and on. I've waited for the 20 min mark, he still woke!!! So maybe he's what they call "touchy" ? Baby? Hehe! It's hard. Let me ask you Zoe, when he woke at 5am and he ate and stayed awake... Was he ready to eat at the 7:30am wake? ...yes I ended up bringing him to bed and just do his thing... DS1 wakes early too. Motherhood ey? Haha.

Well, the DF, when I used to do it, would extend him to 5am. However, the last few times he was waking and then I ended up staying up extra time getting him back to sleep.. Which extended me to midnight or so... And then he would wake at 5-6 anyway to eat. So the DF intimidates me! What if he wakes!? As long as it takes him to go to sleep... Well, put down and sleep. correction.... Any tips? I enjoyed the DF when he wasn't waking. The older he's getting, he wakes. I BF so I tried tickling his lips and such... But maybe I tried to hard BC he wasn't eating, and then woke him. I then tried bottle and that seemed to wake him faster and more since I assume it's an easier flow of milk. SOOO I don't know! Ideas? You don't DF? When is your babies BT? Ours is around 9pm lately.

Also, question for CLUSTER feeds... He's been sleeping the afternoons well (late afternoons) and def not catnapping yet in the late afternoon, but... I wake him to cluster feed. Is that ok? It's been working it seems. He's very loopy and drowsy but I change diaper etc. and he goes down eaaaasy around 9pm mark. Do you wake for cluster feeds?

[jessmum46]

Just thought I'd encourage you both to join the birth clubs (if you haven't already!) to get the support of other mums with similar struggles Re: 0-6 months, Part 2

[Haribo2012]

I've joined already so keep an eye on what the other are posting although I've not posted much as yet, I see you've joined FPT23 you'll get some good answers and help on there.

I think if he's been awake 2.5 hours after a feed and still not settling after that 5am feed id try feeding again as 2.5 hour feeding is ok.

I don't DF yet as my LO if asleep is asleep and won't open his mouth for his feed, I did DF DS1 but prob didn't start this until 10-12 weeks as I was going with the flow until then. At the min we do bath around 6pm then feed and hope he drops off about 7pm but he's a pain to put down in the evening so he ends up being awake on and off until feed around 9/9.30pm.

I don't do cluster feeding, didn't work for me last time so haven't bothered this time round.

[FPT23]

Yes I joined! Thank you

Yes I've done the feed by that time if he stays up. What about if he's up at 5am and won't go down or wakes? What to do then? He will cry if put down awake- not just "hangout" peacefully.

When is an earlier BT suggested? He could do an earlier one I think..... I just don't so I can sleep when he does mostly. For example if BT is at 7-8, I prb won't be asleep or b able to sleep by then. And his first wake may land around 12am (if he does a long stretch) and then I'm worried his next wake will be his morning wake for him. Since he typically wakes twice to feed. You know?

Bah it's all a confusion haha.

I don't DF anymore for fear of waking!! I did it with my first but also later on if i remember correctly

[FPT23]

Last night he slept from 9:45-10ish pm (can't remember, he fell asleep on me and I didn't move him till he was out cold. Toddler got a random fever and got sick so I needed him down ASAP and for sure no wakes!)

He slept until 4am, fed... But woke as I put down and as I said, he's easy to settle but quickly wakes and jolts... I just did the swing (I've been exhausted last 3 days staying up with him trying to get him back to sleep) and it worked MIRACULOUSLY. Swing doesn't work much- we have about a 10% success rate haha

[FPT23]

In addition to all my other questions (so sorry but grateful)

In order to teach self soothing.. Can it be done swaddled? Not that I'm going to attempt now but out of curiousity. Can they be swaddled and self settle- doze off and learn?

[Haribo2012]

At 5am I just do whatever to get to decent time, rock him, cuddle let him sleep on me to get to decent wake up time. I just get comfy with my phone and read stuff.

I don't really know about earlier bed time at this age, I never got a BT routine going properly until a little bit older, we do bath, feed etc now but don't put him down to bed as such as too unsettled and would wake my 4yr old! I think it's quite young to worry about when the night feeds are. My DS is 7 weeks today and can't say that any 2 nights have been awake at same time, I just aim to be in bed by 10pm and we generally get a wake up In between 12-1.30am and another between 4-5.15am

Sleeping from 10pm until 4am is amazing at 4 weeks and if swing works for last bit then use it for now....I found the last few days I can get DS back down a bit easier as he's getting a bit older.

Sorry can't answer swaddling question as haven't done it but can't see why they can't learn to self settle really x

[FPT23]

Thanks for the response!!

I just want to know if it's normal to take so long to settle and get to sleep? On bad nights (like yesterday) he just would wake so quickly as soon as we put down. I was at it from 8pm-2am

I rock him and even nurse him but he jolts awake during, while in my arms and wakes himself. Of course as soon as I put down also. I don't remember doing this w DS1... I remember it taking awhile but not soooo long. He's swaddled well too. It's quite insane and blows my mind. Sometimes I leave him be a few minutes b/c it's super frustrating :-/   ...having another child, this is impossible to do. I've been lucky my husband is on a shift that he's here in the afternoon but as I stated before, slings don't seem to work either?

What to do?

[Haribo2012]

He's so young still I don't think he's really capable of settling without u and even with being rocked etc it can takes ages.

I've had a shocker of a couple of days....screaming most of the day, struggling to nap and general fussiness. I've rocked till my arms have fell off ha ha! 

Honestly Hun I don't know apart from just keep trying different things x

[FPT23]

I'm just so desperate for my toddler

The baby takes so long to nap. Should I just skip and try later???

I leave my 4yo alone for long periods. Wearing him will not work. I can't keep leaving my other son

[Haribo2012]

Can you go out at nap times take your older one to the park?

[FPT23]

Here this morning as we speak.

Baby woke in a great mood, put down very easily at a good A time for his morning nap... Woke after 5 minutes and I said to myself "I'm not going to do this today" ...stroller nap and park it is.

Over. It.

Yesterday he was AWFUL... No naps, woke every 5-15 mins... Longest nap was in the afternoon and just 1 hour... And you can imagine.. I was doing this circus from 8pm-midnight again as he was overly tired.. Would jolt awake too easily, or not settle well. Or wake after a few minutes

[Haribo2012]

If it helps mine days are pretty similar and baby is crying again as we speak.

How was park?