3 month old won't sleep

[Ulrica83]

Hi everyone!

(I am new to all of this and English is not my first language - so please forgive me for misspelling and incorrect grammar.)

We have a wonderful little boy, now 3 months and 1 week old. He was born at 41 weeks, normal pregnancy and delivery. Exclusively breast fed. From the age 2-7 weeks he had a mild form of colic, crying almost 2 hours every night and nothing would soothe him - we tried everything. Gladly, this magically disappeared at 7 weeks of age and we could get him going on EASY.

Our 3 hour routine the past three days:

E 7.00
A 7.15
S 8.30-9.45/10.00 (wakes after 45 minutes, we use shh/pat "successfully" every 10-15 minutes after that)

E 10.00
A 10.15
S 11.30-12.45/1.15 (this nap is in the baby stroller as I take a long walk, no need for shh/pat, he sleeps so well in the stroller)

E 1.00/1.15
A 1.15/1.30
S 2.30-3.45/4.00 (wakes after 45 minutes, we use shh/pat "successfully" every 10-15 minutes after that)

E 4.00
A 4.15
CN 5.30-6.15 (no problems here, goes down well, sleeps 30-45 minutes without help)

E 6.45
A 7.00 (changing diaper, wind down, sing a song, cuddle, pacifier)
S 7.15/7.30

DF 10.00 pm
NW + full feed 1.00 am
NW + full feed 4.00 am

My questions are regarding sleep - both naps and night time sleep:

1. He goes down really well for naps, never cries. But he almost always wakes up 30-45 minutes in to a nap. We use a modified version of shh/pat (shhh-ing, but no patting, we just lay a firm hand on his chest as he sleeps on his back) and he falls asleep again within 5 minutes. After this he wakes almost every 10-15 minutes and needs "help" to resettle again. Shh/pat works, but why does he wake so frequently?

2. He eats full feeds (both breasts for 15-20 minutes total) every three hours, around the clock. He has never STTN. During the night feeds he seems hungry and eats without fussing. Sometimes he wakes an hour/half an hour before the "feeding time", but we use shh/pat to resettle and has been working fine. Until the past three days.. He's now waking every 30-60 minutes all through the night, not hungry, not crying, but flailing his arms and grunting. Shh/pat works, but it's quite exhausting to do it every hour. Any ideas? When can we remove one of the night feeds?

3. He wakes around 5 am, happy, but flailing his arms and legs. We leave him be, in order for him to self-settle, but he can go on for hours - still not crying. If I do shh/pat he will fall asleep within 5 minutes. Should I leave him on his own to settle? Or is he going to be super tired at 7 am since he hasn't been sleeping well? Am I being a prop with the shh/pat? The thing is, it's so difficult for me to sleep with him making all the noises/flailing around.. So it's easier to shh/pat him to sleep.

4. We've pushed his A times by 15 minutes these past three days. He could only manage 1 hour 15 minutes before, or so I thought. I tried for 1 week to put him down 15 minutes earlier to get past the 45 minute-limit, but it didn't work. Then I read on this lovely forum that maybe he was UT for his naps and that's why he would wake up after 45 minutes. And because he didn't get enough sleep during the days he would be OT at night and therefor wake early in the morning. So, now we changed to 1 hour 30 minutes A times, and he's doing really well with that. But still the EW, NWs and waking up in the middle of naps.. Any suggestions?

5. We have never used PU/PD, since shh/pat has worked so well - but when should we start using PU/PD? I thought this was used a last resort.

6. We don't swaddle at night, only for naps. This has worked fine up until a couple of days ago - now he starts flailing his arms and legs multiple times during the night and wakes himself. Should we start swaddling even during the night time sleep?

7. When is the right time to start transitioning to the 4-hour routine? I think the table on page 230 in the book is really incoherent and not following the text on page 229.

He is a happy baby, rarely cries, gaining weight as he's supposed to. He sleeps in his own crib next to our bed. We have never used CC or CIO and can't imagine ever using those "methods". But it now feels like the sleeping issues are taking over our lives. These past nights I've got 1 hour of sleep per night, and I am totally exhausted. Do you have any ideas? I'm so thankful for EASY and for your help!

Best regards,
Ulrica

[Martini~]

Hi Honey and happy that you managed to start a routine.

1. NF depending on a baby can be still present at that age especially if you feel he eats and go stop sleep after. The only thing you can do to reduce it is encourage eating during day more if it's possible. So maybe adding cluster feed in the evening or if you feel he is too distracted in the day to feed properly, try to feed in a calmer place to make sure he is taking full feeds. Rennet that at that age kiddos go thorough growth spurts almost every couple of weeks so sometimes you can feel like they eat constantly:).

2. At 3.5mo (according to your corrected age) he can be ready for 1:45A so you can try extend A times further and see what happens. But be aware that at 4mo there is an awful sleep regression and for a 1/2 weeks everything can be upside down.

3. If shhhh/pat is working you don't have to go with PUPD.

4. try swaddling at night but also be aware that at that age swaddling can be a thing to wean as when your LO will start moving more, that's the right thing to do. But until it works, use it!

[Ulrica83]

Thank you so much for your answer(s)!

I totally agree with you, it feels like he hits growth spurt after growth spurt. I will try adding another cluster feed in the evening and see how it goes.

I tried keeping my DS up for 1.45 A time yesterday, but I don't think he's ready for it just yet - he was really OT and cried when we put him down for every nap and at night. So, I think I will wait just a little more until extending A time further.

We swaddled the little guy last night and it went so much better! I think I got like three hours of sleep instead of one. We'll continue swaddling during the night as well (for now, and wean later on).

Regarding the EW at 5 am: do you think I should let him self settle or should I use shh/pat? Is he old enough to self settle?

Do you see anything else you would recommend changing in our routine?

Yet again, thank you for your advice!

Regards,
Ulrica