5 weeks too early?

[Mandy.kamal]

Is it too early to expect much from a 5 week old? We are on the EASY routine and all is good except she doesn't nap well- or at all- unless she's being held or at least held to sleep and then transfered.

She has no problem falling asleep on her own but can't seem to get past the 20 minute light sleep to enter deep sleep- even with me helping her. And if I do get her to sleep, she's never made it past the first sleep cycle which is usually 30-40 minutes into nap. I have tried helping her into the next cycle but that doesn't even work.

Only works if I'm holding or wearing her. Is this normal for this age? The pediatrician said babies aren't developmentally ready yet but after reading all the BW books, it seems like they should be ready around 4 weeks

Also, this is my second child- my first is 3. That being said, it's quite impossible to spend so much time getting her to nap and expecting him to wait. This morning he waited 1.5 hours for me to get her to nap (she never went into the deep sleep) and needless to say I'm wearing her for this second nap!!

[jessmum46]

I'm inclined to agree with your paediatrician .  I don't know if you've come across the concept of the '4th trimester' but it has certainly resonated with me when I think of how my two were in the first 2-3 months of life.  All they've known until then is being rocked, held, carried, so to suddenly expect them to sleep alone on a non-moving flat open surface is really alien.  No wonder they struggle!  I think at 5 weeks I would be focussing on the adjustment to your family, a rough EAS routine and possibly trying for one nap a day in the crib when you have time and energy - but not trying for hours and not stressing about it if it doesn't happen.  8-10 weeks on I found my LOs to be quite different and much more able (so it seemed) to learn to self-settle

[Mandy.kamal]

You are lovely; thank you for the reply.

In my heart and gut I just don't feel she's ready. But I didn't start EASY until 4+ months with my first and it was a long road trying to correct all my mistakes with him so I'm being paranoid this time around!

I'll just keep on with the wearing and snuggles for now and try again around 8 weeks

[Mandy.kamal]

I do have a question with A times. I held her while she fell asleep this first morning nap. She fell asleep at 8:00ish and was completely deep asleep by 8:30. I moved her to her rocker so I could play with my son. She woke 30 mins later crying. Picked her up to settle her and she calmed fast but never went back to sleep.

Would that be any indicator that she may need a bit more than an hour before laying her down?

[Lindsay27]

At 5 weeks I would expect her A time to be about an hour, not much more than a feed, diaper change, and a little 'play' time. 

[jessmum46]

I agree, I wouldn't read too much into nap lengths right now as they can wake up for so many reasons, not just OT or UT x

[Mandy.kamal]

Okay, thank you so much! I will try and relax more and not be so up tight about naps for now. Xx

[weaver]

I am a whole-hearted believer in the fourth trimester - for both baby and mama! Another important thing is to get priorities straight: no disrespect to babies but your 3 yo is the one with the big emotional needs right now, baby needs to be fed, changed, minded, held, but 3 yo needs attention.  So I would put LO1's emotional needs first (and your own), and baby will be fine.  A sling was a godsend to me, as was a good buggy LO2 was happy to sleep in.  At 5 weeks, it's all about the cuddles, the adjustment, and you finding your feet.  If everyone is fed and dressed every day, you're doing amazingly!

The first three months with two, all bets are off, enjoy it as much as you can, it's a delirious wonderful mess   naps (in the cot) are not top of the list. 

[Mandy.kamal]

I cannot thank you enough for this post. I tried another nap in her bassinet and it didn't work at all. All other naps were in my wrap today and I was feeling a little discouraged and feel like I'm going to regret it later. But your comment just completely turned around my mood and I feel so much better. I cannot express to you how thankful I am that you took the time to write this and give encouraging words.

I can tell my LO1 is just now getting a little upset with things- mainly when I'm having to go resettle naps- so it's a huge releif to know I'm okay to just continue to wear her for naps.

She won't sleep in her carseat or stroller- she's so alert and won't close her eyes!! I usually have to tuck her into my neck to block things from her. So I'm pretty much wearing her all day.

But again, thank you....and thank you all for the support and guidance from other moms of multiples! I will try and give myself some slack!! We did all get dressed today so that was a positive 

[jessmum46]

Not just a positive, a success

[weaver]

(((Hugs))) remember to be kind to yourself too, you've a lot to do all day! It's ok to sit down, have plenty of healthy snacks, cups of tea (endless tea, no idea how I would've survived without it!) and remember to enjoy the sun when it comes out.  That sounds a bit dippy, but vitamin D helps keep the mood up.  Fresh air always did wonders for all of us (still does) if the mood is dodgy. 

[Mandy.kamal]

Yes, you're absolutely right! We've been enjoying the outdoors everyday- it truly is the only thing that's keeping me sane at the moment!

I'll take your advice on the tea as well. That'll make me actually sit down and take a moment to breathe!!

My husband thinks I'm making a huge mistake by wearing her in a wrap all day but coming to these boards to see reassurance from you beautiful mothers is getting me through this with a smile