4m sleep regression, teething, wonder week or sth else?

[katerinask]

Hi everyone,

Here I am, one month after my first nap-related post, puzzled again by our LO's behaviour towards naps. During the past month she has become increasingly more resistant to naps, but the past 4-5 days have been the worst. She fights going to sleep so much, that it is really painful to watch and makes us feel so bad for her She really struggles, when she used to be SO easy to put down. We literally used to tuck her in (awake) and leave the room!

She is also having trouble with her gums, she chews on everything she can find (even my face when I hold her) and doesn't seem to get much relief from teething gels. The doctor said there are teeth pushing through although it could be another month before one actually appears. This is obviously making her much crankier and more irritable than usual... Nothing seems to please her any more, she just needs to be held.

The result is, that it is really difficult to read her tired cues since she starts fussing half-way through A time. Every nap time is a struggle, and it takes her between 30 and 40 minutes to get to sleep. She isn't sleeping as well as she used to either, she often wakes at the 50m mark, but still manages to get to 1.5-2h sometimes (so she can still get through the sleep cycles).

My questions, or rather just worries:
> Does this sound like a sleep regression to you? Her night sleep is still mostly good.
> Could fighting naps be part of a sleep regression?
> Is fighting naps a symptom or teething or is it unrelated in your experience?
> Am I maybe trying to put her down UT or OT?
> Once the sleep cycles become more pronounced, does this change their sleep forever? Or do they go back to their old selves? I read somewhere that the 4m sleep regression is different than others, because changes are more permanent?
> Do you have any tips for helping a baby that hates going to sleep?

Here is our routine, give or take 15-20 minutes depending on the day. We are currently somewhere in between a 3 and 4h EASY (the change to 3 naps really helped her):

WU & E: 8
A: 8:20
S: 10:00-12:00 (we usually get a 2h sleep)
E:12:00
A: 12:20
S: 14:00-15:30 (we usually don't get past 1.5 - and sometimes much sooner, which throws her schedule off completely)
E: 15:45 approx
A: 16:00
S: 17:30-18:30 (cat nap max 1hr)
E: 18:30
A: 18:45 (including bath)
E (top up): 20:30
BT: 20:30-21:00
DF: btwn 11 and 12
Sleeps through the night with no other feeds most of the time

We have short WD for naps (darken room, sing lullaby and rock gently, put down while still awake, wrap). At bedtime, we have bath, into PJs, BF, lullaby, wrap).

What do you think? Your thoughts and suggestions are much appreciated as always

[katerinask]

I should add that this is the schedule we typically strive for. What's been throwing us off lately is 2 things:
1. The time it takes for her to fall asleep
2. The dreaded 45m nap which is what she manages most days lately instead of a good 2nd nap of the day

[Bella89]

Hi there,
sleep regressions are a very difficult time.We've all been there so I feel your pain. I hope I can help a little. Yes, it does sound like you're going through one.

First of all, 4mo sleep regression is difficult because it's a time when LO learns many different thingsi.e. rolling over and is more aware of surroundings.
I am 100% sure, that there is no reason you should worry about how it will scar your DD forever. It will all change and get better. Believe me. She is still little so you have planty of time to sleep train her or teach how to self settle.

Fighting naps can be a sigh of regression but it's also a sign of being UT. I have a question about that. If WU at 8, her first nap is 10-12 (ideally), do you put her down 30 min before that or does she fall asleep 10:30?

The only other thing that stood up to me was that maybe you could bring that BT a little closer to 8? Like maybe start routine at 7:30?
What do you think?

[katerinask]

Hi there and thanks for the response and encouraging words.

To answer your question, I would start wind down around 10 minutes before nap time. So when she really fusses, she may well fall asleep at 10:30.

Regarding bedtime, are you suggesting bringing it closer to 8pm because 9pm is too late for a baby, or because wake up is at 8, so we aim for a 12 hour day? I'm curious because I know Tracy's routines for a 4 month old, include two 2-hour naps, a 45 minute cat nap and a 12 hour night-time sleep. If everything goes perfectly and a baby follows this completely, that would amount to almost 17 hours sleep. Isn't that too much??

Regressions are rough indeed. Today we had a near perfect day! The first two naps were 2 hours and 1.5 respectively, and she was SO easy to put down both times. She just cooed herself to sleep within minutes, I was so happy. Then the evening nap came around and the poor thing fought and screamed for 50 minutes. I ended up picking her up again, it was clear she wasn't going to settle in the crib. Maybe it was UT though, given that she slept so well all day. I was just about to declare the regression over and here I am wondering what went wrong again! 

[Bella89]

Regarding bedtime, are you suggesting bringing it closer to 8pm because 9pm is too late for a baby, or because wake up is at 8, so we aim for a 12 hour day? I'm curious because I know Tracy's routines for a 4 month old, include two 2-hour naps, a 45 minute cat nap and a 12 hour night-time sleep. If everything goes perfectly and a baby follows this completely, that would amount to almost 17 hours sleep. Isn't that too much??

If a baby sleeps, it sleeps. It's never too much. It's a different story when DD will dive you signs of not wanting to sleep which she did yesterday

Fighting sleep is a usual sign of being UT. Sometimes when they don't want to sleep, adding another 15 min to their A time can do the trick for a few weeks or a month. They gro up very fast!

12h night is perfect, but I know my DS was a 11h night sleep baby. It really depends on what you feel is right, when she is tired or how many hours of NS she needs to have great day

What do you think? Could you try adding 15 min? SO let's say start routine at 8?

[katerinask]

We've been having BT closer to 8:30 over the past few days, rather than 9. But not sure what problem we are trying to solve with an earlier bedtime to be honest. Her night sleep is the one thing that is still OK!

Anyway, here's what's happened since we last spoke. Any ideas as to what's going on?

Yesterday, her 1st nap was 1:15 (this is the one good nap we used to get - she could do 2 hours), her second only 45m and then her 3rd was 2 hours long (instead of catnap). I thought to myself, as long as it doesn't mess with her night time sleep, I don't mind her having the longer nap of the day in the afternoon.

Today started the same, 1 hour in the morning, 45 minutes in the afternoon, and now she has just woken up after 30 minutes only. Surely this is not enough day time sleep... she must  be tired!!!

What's happening??? 

[Bella89]

Have you changed the time you are putting her down for naps?
In other words, how does your EASY look like now?

[katerinask]

Bella, thanks so much for all the replies and encouragement!

No, not really, the times haven't really changed. Or rather, the times have changed because her schedule has been thrown off due to the early wakings. But it's still approx 2 hours after she has woken last.

[Bella89]

If you didn't change the timings, It couldn't be changes in routine that threw her off.

Would you be willing to try extending her A times? The first one especially? By like 15 min?

[katerinask]

Yeah, I tried this today and things worked out a bit better I think. Of course it could just be coincidental, but I got a good 2 hour nap in the morning after keeping her up for 2:15. Then, we were out and about during the 2nd nap, so she managed a total of 45 minutes in the baby carrier in IKEA and then in the car on the way home (woke up when we arrived - no point in trying to get her to sleep again at home after 45m of sleep). Finally, she had a 3rd and final nap after 2 hours of awake time (which I didn't extend because she had such a short nap before, plus an exiting day outside the house, and then went on to sleep for 2 hours.

She didn't LOVE going to bed, but I think it was somewhat easier for her. We'll see... everyday is different these days, so I don't know what to expect tomorrow!

It is quite difficult extending her A time, because she really gets cranky towards the end. She is at that in between stage I think, where she really wants to do stuff but gets frustrated because she still lacks many of the skills she would like to have. But I will try again tomorrow and see what kind of a day we have!

Thanks again Bella x
Will keep you posted!

[Bella89]

No problem. I am here if you need anything.
You seem to know her very well:) Congrats!