Crying through nap times

[claireh29]

Hi all,

I hoping for some help with EASY.

I have baby girl who is 2 weeks old and a little boy who is 3.5yrs.

I failed EASY with him, I gave up and did what ever it took to get him to sleep until he was 6 months and we let him cry.

Now with my second I see the importance of a good routine even more. We have the baby on 3 hour routine and I'm doing my best to sick to it. I wake her if she is sleeping, she feeds nicely and is gaining lots of weight so I'm Not worried about that.

My concerns are the naps, she can barely stay awake for 30 but when she does I watch closely for the signs and put her up to nap straight away.  She then will cry for about 1.5hrs, I go in Very couple of minutes to comfort her. When she does fall asleep she is very good at re settling and will stay asleep but then I'm waking her after about 30m to feed her. She then falls asleep feeding for the next 2 naps until the 4pm feed and we are back to crying for hours.

Am I doing this right? Should I be doing something else? Rocking walking and feeding to sleep are not an option due to the toddler needing me.

[Lindsay27]

Hello and welcome!  Firstly, congratulations on the new addition to your family! Here at BW we have a great supportive community, however we do not support CIO in any way because we believe it breaks the bond of trust between parent and child.  We are more than happy to help you and your DD get onto a great EASY routine using some gentle methods   If you are going in and comforting her that is fantastic, just make sure you are always responding to her 'I need you cries'

I think what is probably happening here is she is getting a little OT and then is fighting sleep, then if you are waking her to feed she is not having a restorative nap and is therefore OT again.  At 2 weeks old her A time is only going to be about 40mins if that...not really much more than a feed and a diaper change then back down for a nap.

Where is she currently napping?  Is she swaddled?  It sounds like you are trying to have her sleep independently and self settle which is great, but she just might need a little help.  Have you ever heard of the concept of the 4th trimester?  It basically says that the first few weeks of life are like the 4th trimester, so your LO has always been rocked and swayed to sleep in utero, so when they arrive it is no wonder they can't put themselves to sleep on a flat surface that isn't moving.  Many people find that using a sling or carrier in the first few weeks is beneficial until they get a handle on life with 2 LOs and see an EAS pattern start to develop.  Alternatively, when you lay her down can you try placing a hand on her or patting her until she's in a deeper sleep?  I have an almost 4yr old and a 3 month old too so I know this can be hard, however can you set your DS up with an activity or even a show to watch for a few mins while you help your DD to fall asleep?

The first few weeks are so precious so don't feel like you need to get this right from the get-go.  We all do whatever we need to for the first while until things become more predictable around 8 weeks.  Nothing that happens between now and then can't be undone

[claireh29]

Thanks for your quick response.

She is never left to cry and is always responded to, she is far to little to understand.

Should I let her sleep longer when she finally does fall asleep and the 3 routine be slightly adjusted? Having the routine is helpful, knowing what time I could leave the housetops enterain my son etc

She naps in her basket unswaddled, I swaddled my son because any little movement would wak him up but she doesn't have that problem. I guess swaddling might keep her calmer for naps. 

We have been rubbing her tummyto calm her down. At the moment I'm trying not to walk/rock her to sleep because I'm worries I won't stop and I will be doing all the time. Plus she sleeps so soundly once asleep in her basket.

[Lindsay27]

I would probably let her sleep a while longer when she does finally fall asleep but I probably wouldn't go more than 4hrs between feeds given she's still so little. 

I wonder if you try swaddling if that will make her feel more secure?  Sometimes it's not even about the flailing arms, but more about it being a que for sleep time ya know?

If you don't want to walk her/bounce her etc I completely get that, just remember to be easy on yourself.  Many of us AP a lot of the first few weeks just to get buy, especially when you have another LO, she's still so teeny it isn't going to cause any irreparable damage.  I rocked my DD for the first 2 months and now she self settles just fine

[claireh29]

Thanks

I think I'm going to try swaddling as art of the routine for her notoriously bad naps (first and last before bedtime). We have just bought a Ewan dream sheep in hope it will answer our pray lol

I defiantly can't rock her during the day but I do and will continue to at night.

My husband reminds me she is only little and considering her age we are doing really well, I just always want it to be better. Like you said I just need to relax.

She is putting on weight and does asleep eventually so it's not all bad.