Hi hun. Sorry you are still struggling, I know how hard these longterm NWs can get
First off, I agree with the others about the length of her day - could definitely be worth pushing that out a bit. Other than that, I just wanted to share what's helped us our girls do seem quite similar (troublesome!).
Annabel has been very prone to long NWs, and has occasionally gone wonky with EWs and/or bad naps. Mostly the NWs though. She is now 16 months and still doesn't STTN consistently, but it's much better than it was. She does sleep through sometimes, otherwise she will either self settle or only need a quick reassurance. The long NWs do still happen but only once every couple of weeks or so (it used to be pretty much every night). I tried tweaking, various methods of settling, advice from ladies here, and tbh none of it made much difference. She was an IS, no props, no NFs, so I came to the conclusion that she is just very affected and easily disturbed by anything and everything! Teeth, developmental stuff, etc etc. So partly I think she's better because we're past the rolling, crawling, standing, walking phases, and she has most of her teeth! But also since nothing I did was working i went with set times to take the guess work out. So since 13 months when she went to one nap it's been set at 12pm with BT at 7pm. I never go earlier than 11:30 and 6:30. Her WU time has varied from 5:30-8, nap length from 1h20-3 hrs (she's nothing if not unpredictable!), but even though her sleep amounts differ it's definitely improved things and I think she self regulates fairly well. I used to try to work out A times and shift things around, especially if she'd had a bad night and I would try to get her to catch up somewhere, but this way it's much easier. She sleeps at those times and that's it. Your nap time seems like it's working well, but you say that's on school days. What does she do the rest of the time? It could be worth putting her down at the same time every day, maybe with a 7:30 BT?
What do you do when she wakes at night? Again, I found being completely consistent has helped with NWs. Previously I'd tried meds, cuddles, drinks etc, and ended up at a point where I was on her floor half the night and still nobody was sleeping. So I stuck to WI/WO and now if I have to go in it's usually only once or twice, and even if she's awake for a long time it's more grumbling than full on crying as it was before so at least we are all in our beds and I'm not right next to her with both of us getting frustrated! I know some LOs find WI/WO too stimulating so obviously it depends on her temperament what works best, but if it seems like nothing is working then I would just pick something and stick with it! Hope some of that helps.
