45 min/25 min naps & starting to EW...adjust A? 2-1 help?

[mommykay410]

Hi,

My LO will be 1 in two weeks and has been sleeping through the night consistently from ~8-7 for about 3 weeks now.  There have been a couple nights in the past week when she woke up around 12 and would not go back to sleep for 1.5-2 hours.  And the past few days she has only been sleeping for 45-50 minutes for her morning nap, which is normally at least an hour, and 25 minutes for her afternoon nap.  Now she also seems to be waking earlier in the morning and getting less and less sleep.  I'm sure some of it is related to teething, and I'm sure some of it is related to the 2-1 transition...just not sure what I should do to extend her naps so she can get more sleep.  She has been at 4+ hr A time for awhile now.  Right now she is definitely OT from only sleeping a little over an hour yesterday and a little over 9 hours last night.      I am going back to work next week after being off for the past year, and would really like to make sure this is sorted out before then.  She already has severe separation anxiety (even cries when dad tried to pick her up if I am around) so that is not helping.  Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Here is her EASY from the yesterday:
6:50 WU
7:25 nurse
8:30 breakfast
10:35 snack
11:00 - 11:50 nap
12:30 lunch and milk in sippy
3:00 snack
4:10-4:35 nap
5:15 dinner and milk in sippy
7:20 nurse and fell asleep ~7:40
8:05 down in crib - 11:50 woke up crying because of gas
12:05 nurse one side
1:20-6:30 sleep

[lauradj]

It does sound to me like she might be ready for one nap.  Have you found our 2-1 thread?  It's been a lifesaver for lots of moms, it lets you know you're not alone amidst all the craziness!  Tracy has a plan to move your child from 2-1 naps in about a week but I know many of us have taken longer and others just went cold turkey.  If your LO can make it to 11, why don't you try to push it to 11:30 and then let her have an uncapped nap until she wakes?  I would probably suggest you feed her lunch before her nap so nothing interrupts that, hopefully, long nap. 
In our particular case, DS1 was down to 1 nap at 12 months but we had horrible EW's as we transitioned because we kept moving bed time around depending on how long he napped.  We found once we went back to his usual bed time, everything ironed out quickly.  DS2 is 12.5 months and still on two naps but it is very plain he needs that sleep or night time is a disaster!

[mommykay410]

Thank you for your reply!  I kept her up for 4hr 15min today before her morning nap instead of 4hs, so she fell asleep at 10:45 and slept for an hour and 10 mins, so that was back to normal.  I don't cap her first nap unless she sleeps past 12:30, which is only if she had a rough night and I let her sleep in later.  Her afternoon nap today though was only 20 minutes from 4:25-4:45 and she did not wake up happy and is rubbing her eyes and cranky already at 5:30.  I can take the catnap in the pm as long as she has at least an hour am nap.  I will see if the little bit longer A time helps again, as that is what I've needed to do in the past when she starting waking early from her first nap.  I really don't want to move right to one nap at the moment with me going back to work next week because she will be even more of a mess than she is already going to be.  But I can keep pushing her A time and see if she eventually sleeps long enough for one nap.  I do keep her bedtime pretty consistent, nursing her around 7:30 and having her down in her crib by 8.  Where can I find Tracy's plan for 2-1?  I will check out the 2-1 thread as well.  If I were to give her lunch before her first nap, should I not give her a morning snack at all then?  There wouldn't be enough time to give her breakfast, snack, and lunch all before her nap. 

[lauradj]

The timing of lunch etc. is really up to you.  I think I tried to do quite a big snack with DS1 in the morning and I gave him his lunch when he woke from his nap.  At some point, I think when he was able to stay up until noon, I started feeding him his lunch before his nap.  Is your LO heading into day care?  It might be helpful to find out what their napping routine is and try to sync your routine with theirs.  It can help make for a smoother transition.

[mommykay410]

She will be staying at home with my father-in-law until June when I am off for the summer, then going to daycare in August when I start teaching again.  I will definitely be transitioning her to daycare's schedule over the summer, at which point she will have to be on one nap.  For now I can transition her slowly.  Last night was better...she cried around 12 but went back to sleep on her own, and woke up at 6:40 this morning.  The 4h15min morning A time extension seems to have done the nap trick for right now, so hopefully it was just an issue for a few days.

[lauradj]

That's great news, and what a wonderful opportunity for your DD and FIL to spend some quality time together.  They are both very fortunate. 

[mommykay410]

Well we had one good day, and she hasn't woken up in the middle of the night the past two nights.  But yesterday she did not take her afternoon nap at all because she woke up later in the morning so she didn't go down for it until after 5 and wouldn't fall asleep.  I tried to get her down for bed earlier then, but she fell asleep while nursing at bedtime and didn't go into her crib til 8 then anyways.  Today she only took a 30 minute morning nap and is currently fighting sleep for her afternoon nap as I type this, so I'll be heading up to pat/rock shortly    I'm guessing I should push her A time again to 4h30min instead of 4h15min?  I'm still not sure we'll be able to go completely to one nap because she only sleeps for an hour for her morning nap, which would be from 11/11:30-12/12:30 and then she'd have a really long A time to bed, which she struggles with in the evening.  EBT has never really worked in my favor because she can't seem to sleep longer than 11h30min max at night, and it's usually closer to 10h30min total night sleep.  If she wakes up earlier than 6:45am it messes us all up.  Thoughts? 

[lauradj]

I agree with you, keep pushing out that morning A time in 15min increments until you can get her to noon and then ditch the afternoon nap all together.  There might be a week or so of adjustment where things go a little sideways and then she'll find her groove.  To me it really does sound like she's ready for 1 nap, but the process of getting her there takes time.

[mommykay410]

Ok, I will shoot for 4.5 hrs tomorrow morning and hopefully that works.  I ended up having to rock her to sleep just now, which took a half hour and she only slept for 10 minutes on me because she woke crying as soon as I tried to lay her in her crib.     So that's a total of 40 minutes daytime sleep today...ugh. 

[mommykay410]

I forgot to ask...should I let her sleep as long as she wants for her morning nap as I push her A time, or should I cap it so there is possibly enough time to try for an afternoon nap?

[lauradj]

I always cap the morning nap at 45mins but the afternoon one I let DS sleep until he's ready to wake.  Sometimes he naps for 2.5-3hrs but usually it's about 2hrs. With DS1 I did the long morning nap and the capped afternoon nap.  Whichever works best for you 

[mommykay410]

Ok, I think I will let her sleep long for am and cap pm if she ends up taking it.  That's pretty much what I've been doing.  Yesterday with 4.5 A time she napped for 1hr25min in the morning but then didn't end up taking a second nap since it was already 5:00 when I laid her down.  If I cap her first nap, there's a good chance she still won't end up taking her afternoon one and then will be majorly lacking on day sleep.  I wish she would nap for 2+hours!  But she's been doing 1 hour in the morning and 1/2 hour in the afternoon, so I can't really expect her to nap too much longer than that total, otherwise I'm sure night sleep will be compromised.

[lauradj]

Honestly, that's exactly how it went with DS1.  It drove me nuts and eventually I just had to drop the CN in the afternoon because it was messing up bed time.  That may be why he transitioned faster than DS2...

[mommykay410]

If I can get her to sleep longer in the morning, I am definitely going to drop the afternoon nap because I spend more time trying to get her to sleep than she sleeps for it, and she gets herself so worked up trying to go down for that one too.  Today she only napped for 50 minutes in the morning though and wouldn't take an afternoon nap, so she was up from 12:10 til bedtime, which she fell asleep 5 minutes into nursing at 7:15.  I don't want to rush to push her A time any further just yet though because today it seemed like she was going to fall asleep in her highchair while she was eating snack an hour before naptime.  I'm worried what she will end up doing with nap tomorrow since it's my first day back at work and the first time my MIL will be putting her down for nap.   

[lauradj]

Don't rush it hon, it took me a month to transition my first.  Let her hang out at this A time for a bit and maybe move her 15minutes further next week, or maybe wait another week.  I found that, for whatever reason, once my son was able to stay awake until 11:30am, he was able to stay awake until 12:30/1, if that makes sense.  I guess that was his personal hurdle?  He'd crash hard at 12:30 but up until then he was happy as Larry. 

[mommykay410]

Yea, I don't want to push her A times too quick...I usually push it when she starts taking a short morning nap.  The problem is that she ends up only taking one nap anyways because she fights the evening one so bad.  This morning she was up early at 6:15 since she fell asleep so early last night (this is why EBT doesn't work in my favor), so she napped from 10:50-11:50 and I just laid her down at 4:40 for a nap and she is crying and not going to fall asleep, so she will end up being awake for 7+ hours til bedtime now and will end up crashing too early and waking early again tomorrow...vicious cycle 

[lauradj]

Yup, this is precisely what I went through with DS1.  Literally exactly the same thing.  Between us trying to find the right BT based on when he woke from his nap and trying to push out his A time but also getting EW's.  It drove me nuts!!  Just know that it will get sorted out but it takes time and consistency.  Maybe chat with your MIL about what you're moving towards and what your expectations are regarding napping before you return to work. 

[mommykay410]

It makes it so hard to adjust her schedule and help her with these transitions when I am not here with her all day.  Last night she was up from 11:15-12:45 and I ended up nursing her because I didn't know how else to settle her down and get her to fall back to sleep since she wouldn't let me pat her or rock her.  She was up at 6:35 this morning and then napped from 11:15-12:25, but again refused her evening nap when I tried to get her to sleep around 5.  She was definitely tired though because she was rubbing her eyes, but I didn't want to torture her so I just brought her down and fed her dinner.  Nursed her at 7:10 and she was asleep while eating within 5 minutes and took the next 40 minutes to finish nursing before I could lay her in her crib.  So this is now 6 days in a row of only one nap that is only around an hour long, leaving us with 7+ hours til bedtime every night    I would push her A time more to try to get her to sleep longer for that nap, but she is already super tired and almost falling asleep in her highchair while eating snack because she has been getting up so early...ugh.  I do leave detailed notes for whoever is watching her for the day with the exact time that they should be putting her down for nap.  I am home before she tries for the second one, so that's not an issue thankfully.

[lauradj]

Ok, not to completely derail your plans but what if you did a similar schedule to my DS2? A capped 45min nap at 9:30am and then a (hopefully) 2hr nap at 1pm?  I realize this is the complete opposite of what I've just been advising you but if she's that exhausted, and is still not taking her CN in the afternoon, what about switching it up?
I was trying to get DS2 to do the same as DS1 at around 11 months and then I realized, it's just not working for him.  He's not ready and he's a different kid.  Thoughts?

[mommykay410]

I would love to try, however with me not being here to do it, she would definitely not be receptive to a complete change in routine.  I would try this weekend, but we have a birthday party on Saturday afternoon at 1:00, and her birthday is Sunday at 1:00, so I can't have her going down for a nap at that time.  I highly doubt that she would nap for longer than 30 minutes after only a 2.5 hr A time first thing.  And if she takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon on top of the 45 minute in the morning, I'm afraid that would cut into her night sleep since she hasn't had that much daytime sleep in like 4 months+.  Last night she finally slept all night again and woke up just before 7 this morning, which was much better than the 6:15/6:30 wakeups, but she still only napped for an hour from 11:30-12:30 and wouldn't fall asleep again at 5.

[lauradj]

Ok!  Well then, I guess she'll just slowly adjust and she'll be just fine.  With Grandma looking after her, it'll be good times all around 

[mommykay410]

If I were to do the earlier capped morning nap and longer later nap, how would I move her from that to the one nap then?  Just start capping it earlier and earlier over time and move the afternoon nap earlier?  The more I thought about it, the better it sounded haha.  Especially since she has been nodding off sometimes during snack.  My husband is off this coming week, so I can possibly have him try it.

[lauradj]

Pretty much.  My plan is that once his morning nap starts to affect his night time sleep, I'll probably bring it down to 30 mins for a week or two and then just drop it all together.  It might be a bit of a rough go for the first week and then it would be just fine.  I honestly didn't think my LO would nap after a shorter A time but he sleeps really well for both naps.  If he doesn't get that morning CN his afternoon nap is the pits! 

[mommykay410]

Hmm interesting.  I think I will have my husband try it with her this week because she has got to be chronically OT at this point.  Same thing yesterday with one 1 hour nap, tried to put down early to bed but fell asleep while nursing then took awhile to fall back asleep when I laid her in her crib.  She was up from 11:45-12:45 and then got up at 6:25 for the day, so only less than 10 hrs again last night.      I'm going to have to change something because this is over a week of the same thing and such little sleep.  I'm just not sure how she will do with such a short A time, and then I'm not sure exactly when to tell him to put her down for the afternoon nap then since I won't be here to judge her tired cues. 

[lauradj]

I bet he learns to judge them pretty quickly on his own but why don't you go with set nap times to make it easier on everyone? 

[mommykay410]

I'm torn with what to do now because today I had him keep her up a little bit longer before her first nap and she slept for an hour and 20 minutes.  Then my FIL took her for a long walk later in the afternoon and she fell asleep for a bit too.  I hate to completely turn things around on her if a push in A time again will do it.  I could do the set nap times for whoever is watching her, but if she doesn't fall asleep for them at the time I say since I'm not the one starting it out to see how it works, then they won't know either how long to let her try to sleep or when they should try to put her down again.  And if she fights one of those naps for them, there's no way she's going to let them pat her or rock her to sleep like I normally do.  I might see if a longer A time works again tomorrow, and if not then I can have him try on Wednesday.

[lauradj]

For sure.  If things go a little sideways for a bit, no harm done.  Going through the 2-1 is difficult and it's made more so when you're not there to make little tweaks.  Can you explain to your FIL what you're aiming for?  Do you trust him to follow along?  My parents would be no help as they subscribe to the "Let baby sleep until they wake" method.  Once, my niece was allowed to sleep until 5pm when she was 2.5yrs old. My sister was LIVID!!  Assuming your FIL isn't like that, your LO is likely in very capable hands. 

[mommykay410]

To be honest, I don't trust anyone to follow along or understand why I'm doing what I'm doing haha.  She woke up today at 6:45 and I had my husband put her down at 9:30; she fell asleep by 9:35 and he woke her up at 10:15, but said he felt bad because she was in a deep sleep.  (This is why I trust no one with her schedule because he wants to just let her sleep as long as she wants then, which is completely against the point of the whole routine change.)  Then he put her down at 1:15 for her afternoon nap and she took 20 minutes to fall asleep and slept for 45 minutes.  So it was still only a total of 1 hr 20 mins, which is what she slept the other day when I extended her A time a bit.  How many days do you think I should try to keep her on the new schedule?  I don't want to mess her up too much, especially if I would end up going back to the regular routine.  I don't want her to start to rely on the morning nap and get stuck back at a shorter A time when we were pushing it before. 

[lauradj]

Whenever you make a change to your baby's schedule, you have to give them at least a solid week to settle into the new routine.  Consider how long it takes you to adjust to....having a shower at a different time.  You're used to having it in the morning, now you have it at 2pm.  It's going to take some time to get used to that.  You really have to go with your gut in this instance but don't keep moving her schedule around.  If she's already had two days of a morning nap around 9:30am and then an afternoon nap, ride it out and see how she's doing in a week. 

[mommykay410]

It's only been one day of doing the early morning nap and then afternoon nap, but yes, that's what I don't want to do...keep shifting her schedule around.  And if I'm going to end up shifting it in a week or so to work it toward one nap I'm thinking I should just go back to the normal longer A time.  I just don't want her to start relying on the morning nap now and then go and take it away from her again.  She fell asleep last night at 7:40 and I laid her down at 8:25, and she was up crying at 5:45 this morning, so I am already fearing EW.  She sort of fell back to sleep but was still whimpering every once in a while until now 6:50.