45 min/25 min naps & starting to EW...adjust A? 2-1 help?

[mommykay410]

Yea, I don't want to push her A times too quick...I usually push it when she starts taking a short morning nap.  The problem is that she ends up only taking one nap anyways because she fights the evening one so bad.  This morning she was up early at 6:15 since she fell asleep so early last night (this is why EBT doesn't work in my favor), so she napped from 10:50-11:50 and I just laid her down at 4:40 for a nap and she is crying and not going to fall asleep, so she will end up being awake for 7+ hours til bedtime now and will end up crashing too early and waking early again tomorrow...vicious cycle 

[lauradj]

Yup, this is precisely what I went through with DS1.  Literally exactly the same thing.  Between us trying to find the right BT based on when he woke from his nap and trying to push out his A time but also getting EW's.  It drove me nuts!!  Just know that it will get sorted out but it takes time and consistency.  Maybe chat with your MIL about what you're moving towards and what your expectations are regarding napping before you return to work. 

[mommykay410]

It makes it so hard to adjust her schedule and help her with these transitions when I am not here with her all day.  Last night she was up from 11:15-12:45 and I ended up nursing her because I didn't know how else to settle her down and get her to fall back to sleep since she wouldn't let me pat her or rock her.  She was up at 6:35 this morning and then napped from 11:15-12:25, but again refused her evening nap when I tried to get her to sleep around 5.  She was definitely tired though because she was rubbing her eyes, but I didn't want to torture her so I just brought her down and fed her dinner.  Nursed her at 7:10 and she was asleep while eating within 5 minutes and took the next 40 minutes to finish nursing before I could lay her in her crib.  So this is now 6 days in a row of only one nap that is only around an hour long, leaving us with 7+ hours til bedtime every night    I would push her A time more to try to get her to sleep longer for that nap, but she is already super tired and almost falling asleep in her highchair while eating snack because she has been getting up so early...ugh.  I do leave detailed notes for whoever is watching her for the day with the exact time that they should be putting her down for nap.  I am home before she tries for the second one, so that's not an issue thankfully.

[lauradj]

Ok, not to completely derail your plans but what if you did a similar schedule to my DS2? A capped 45min nap at 9:30am and then a (hopefully) 2hr nap at 1pm?  I realize this is the complete opposite of what I've just been advising you but if she's that exhausted, and is still not taking her CN in the afternoon, what about switching it up?
I was trying to get DS2 to do the same as DS1 at around 11 months and then I realized, it's just not working for him.  He's not ready and he's a different kid.  Thoughts?

[mommykay410]

I would love to try, however with me not being here to do it, she would definitely not be receptive to a complete change in routine.  I would try this weekend, but we have a birthday party on Saturday afternoon at 1:00, and her birthday is Sunday at 1:00, so I can't have her going down for a nap at that time.  I highly doubt that she would nap for longer than 30 minutes after only a 2.5 hr A time first thing.  And if she takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon on top of the 45 minute in the morning, I'm afraid that would cut into her night sleep since she hasn't had that much daytime sleep in like 4 months+.  Last night she finally slept all night again and woke up just before 7 this morning, which was much better than the 6:15/6:30 wakeups, but she still only napped for an hour from 11:30-12:30 and wouldn't fall asleep again at 5.

[lauradj]

Ok!  Well then, I guess she'll just slowly adjust and she'll be just fine.  With Grandma looking after her, it'll be good times all around 

[mommykay410]

If I were to do the earlier capped morning nap and longer later nap, how would I move her from that to the one nap then?  Just start capping it earlier and earlier over time and move the afternoon nap earlier?  The more I thought about it, the better it sounded haha.  Especially since she has been nodding off sometimes during snack.  My husband is off this coming week, so I can possibly have him try it.

[lauradj]

Pretty much.  My plan is that once his morning nap starts to affect his night time sleep, I'll probably bring it down to 30 mins for a week or two and then just drop it all together.  It might be a bit of a rough go for the first week and then it would be just fine.  I honestly didn't think my LO would nap after a shorter A time but he sleeps really well for both naps.  If he doesn't get that morning CN his afternoon nap is the pits! 

[mommykay410]

Hmm interesting.  I think I will have my husband try it with her this week because she has got to be chronically OT at this point.  Same thing yesterday with one 1 hour nap, tried to put down early to bed but fell asleep while nursing then took awhile to fall back asleep when I laid her in her crib.  She was up from 11:45-12:45 and then got up at 6:25 for the day, so only less than 10 hrs again last night.      I'm going to have to change something because this is over a week of the same thing and such little sleep.  I'm just not sure how she will do with such a short A time, and then I'm not sure exactly when to tell him to put her down for the afternoon nap then since I won't be here to judge her tired cues. 

[lauradj]

I bet he learns to judge them pretty quickly on his own but why don't you go with set nap times to make it easier on everyone? 

[mommykay410]

I'm torn with what to do now because today I had him keep her up a little bit longer before her first nap and she slept for an hour and 20 minutes.  Then my FIL took her for a long walk later in the afternoon and she fell asleep for a bit too.  I hate to completely turn things around on her if a push in A time again will do it.  I could do the set nap times for whoever is watching her, but if she doesn't fall asleep for them at the time I say since I'm not the one starting it out to see how it works, then they won't know either how long to let her try to sleep or when they should try to put her down again.  And if she fights one of those naps for them, there's no way she's going to let them pat her or rock her to sleep like I normally do.  I might see if a longer A time works again tomorrow, and if not then I can have him try on Wednesday.

[lauradj]

For sure.  If things go a little sideways for a bit, no harm done.  Going through the 2-1 is difficult and it's made more so when you're not there to make little tweaks.  Can you explain to your FIL what you're aiming for?  Do you trust him to follow along?  My parents would be no help as they subscribe to the "Let baby sleep until they wake" method.  Once, my niece was allowed to sleep until 5pm when she was 2.5yrs old. My sister was LIVID!!  Assuming your FIL isn't like that, your LO is likely in very capable hands. 

[mommykay410]

To be honest, I don't trust anyone to follow along or understand why I'm doing what I'm doing haha.  She woke up today at 6:45 and I had my husband put her down at 9:30; she fell asleep by 9:35 and he woke her up at 10:15, but said he felt bad because she was in a deep sleep.  (This is why I trust no one with her schedule because he wants to just let her sleep as long as she wants then, which is completely against the point of the whole routine change.)  Then he put her down at 1:15 for her afternoon nap and she took 20 minutes to fall asleep and slept for 45 minutes.  So it was still only a total of 1 hr 20 mins, which is what she slept the other day when I extended her A time a bit.  How many days do you think I should try to keep her on the new schedule?  I don't want to mess her up too much, especially if I would end up going back to the regular routine.  I don't want her to start to rely on the morning nap and get stuck back at a shorter A time when we were pushing it before. 

[lauradj]

Whenever you make a change to your baby's schedule, you have to give them at least a solid week to settle into the new routine.  Consider how long it takes you to adjust to....having a shower at a different time.  You're used to having it in the morning, now you have it at 2pm.  It's going to take some time to get used to that.  You really have to go with your gut in this instance but don't keep moving her schedule around.  If she's already had two days of a morning nap around 9:30am and then an afternoon nap, ride it out and see how she's doing in a week. 

[mommykay410]

It's only been one day of doing the early morning nap and then afternoon nap, but yes, that's what I don't want to do...keep shifting her schedule around.  And if I'm going to end up shifting it in a week or so to work it toward one nap I'm thinking I should just go back to the normal longer A time.  I just don't want her to start relying on the morning nap now and then go and take it away from her again.  She fell asleep last night at 7:40 and I laid her down at 8:25, and she was up crying at 5:45 this morning, so I am already fearing EW.  She sort of fell back to sleep but was still whimpering every once in a while until now 6:50.