Bedtime...at a loss.

[libbyseliger]

I am so lost so figured I'd reach out for help.
Our daughter is almost 3 months old. She is on a great schedule EASY schedule during the day but is very unpredictable at bedtime and I wish I knew what to do. Here is an example of her schedule:

E 7/7:30
S 9/9:30
E 10
S 11:30
E 1
S 2:30
E 4
S 5:30
E 6

Everything goes smoothly until the 6pm cluster feed. I am experimenting with bathing her before the feed as the bath seems to stimulate her too much but either way this doesn't seem to have any affect on what happens next. I've tried putting her to sleep at 7:30 and giving her another cluster feed at 8, but she will never go right back to sleep and is always awake and fussy for at least another 1.5 hours. I've tried putting her to sleep at the first sign of tiredness ie. 7pm, but the same thing happens - she wakes up at 7:30/8pm wanting to eat and won't settle until 9/9:30. I've tried extending her awake time until 7:30, feeding her and then putting her to sleep, but she'll sleep for 5 minutes and then be awake and alert for another hour.

Should I not be expecting her to settle before 9/9:30 even though her day starts at 7/7:30?
I'm not complaining...I'm so grateful for the schedule during the day! I would just love to understand what's going on at bedtime .

Thanks!

[3SavBoys]

My 5.5 month old didn't REALLY start to have a 7ish bedtime til close to 4 months. Up until then, I would just keep him downstairs and nurse through the cluster feeding and take him up asleep to his co sleeper whenever I went to bed. Right about 4 months, he started consistently falling asleep and staying asleep around 7 (or 6:30), at which point we started putting him down in his bed.

[jessmum46]

I wonder if she is overtired by bedtime and finding it hard to settle down properly?  Those wakings 30-60 mins after going to sleep are a fairly classic time for OT wakings to happen.  Just looking at your routine. I notice her first A time is actually quite long for this age, followed by a 30 min nap which is classic OT territory too. I just wonder despite the good nap lengths the rest of the day whether that first long A is in fact setting her up for an ongoing sleep debt all day?  We had a lot of 1.5h OT naps here with DS (my second) which would happen when he was so tired that he would crash through the sleep cycles.  What is your little ones mood like in the day?  Does she often seem tired?

[libbyseliger]

Hi,
Thanks for the replies. We watch very carefully and put her to sleep at the first signs of tiredness/yawning etc. She doesn't seem overtired at all.... Is there anything else I should be looking out for?

[jessmum46]

It could just be one of those things and part of her sleep patterns maturing.  If she seems rested enough why not try just doing your bedtime routine aiming for a 9pm BT for now, then gradually bring it forwards 15 mins every few days until you are where you want to be - hopefully that will adjust her body clock.  This worked very well for DD at a similar age x

[tathi-b]

Hi there,

I hope things get better for you!  My baby didn't do very well with cluster feeds either, for some reason she'd wake up and find it hard to resettle herself to sleep so I ended up not cluster feeding her. As she is bottle fed it's easier to be sure that she is taking the right amount of milk. 

At 3 months after the 5pm catnap her routine looked a little like this.

6pm wake up
Gentle play, soft music in soft light (in her room)
6:15 - Bath (again all very slow and gentle)
6:45/7pm - feed (she was bottle fed so it was easy to know how much she takes)
Swaddle
Sleep
DF 10:30
3am - feed
7am - wake up

x

[libbyseliger]

Thanks... tonight she thankfully settled at 9pm. I think I'm going to stick with the cluster feeds for now as I suspect shes still waking up for one after 7pm bedtime. Any advice on how soon after bedtime I should be doing it? It seems to be a very fine line between doing it too early (not completely settled) or too late (when she seems 'rested' and wakes up completely ....)