Almost 3yo - getting rid of the paci-HELP!

[HaniaJa]

Hi everyone!
I was preparing my son for the last few weeks that we will be getting rid of his paci and suddenly yesterday he did it by himself, he just wanted to cut it off and thrown it away.
The first night was quite good - it took him about an hour to settle down (including leaving his bed, leaving the room, asking for sth to rink, etc), but finally he felt asleep by himself-no crying at all. But the nap and the BT the next day was a nightmare!started from just saying that he doesn't want to sleep ending up with spasm and begging me to stay in his room. And it took 2 hours...
I know that we waited too long, I know. But I feel that now we have to teach him how to sleep from the scratch! He has always been a great sleeper, i was just leaving him in his bed and closing the door. Now I have no idea what to do...He would like me to be in his room until he falls asleep, I really feel like i shouldn't agree to that! But when I'm leaving he is screaming so much I almost cry! Please, give me some advice!
thank You in advance!
Hania

[Buntybear]

Hello there, sorry your post has been missed, I have no experience of pacis so cannot help but I shall bump your post and am sure someone will be along soon!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

If he is that upset I would for sure stay in the room...you may need to do a bit of gradual withdrawal to get back to independent sleep. Does he have any sort of a lovey? This could also be a developmental thing alongside the soother issue as he is approaching 3.

[Mattsmummy]

We got rid of my DS soother at 3.5....
He was so addicted to it...but we mailed it to "Santa" so he could deliver it to another baby who needed it more.
The first few nights were rough and his naps, well, they were just about gone anyway, but he really struggled with no soother.

I started staying with him to help him settle and I still do. I stay usually around 5 minutes or so and sometimes he's sound asleep and sometimes he's just laying quietly.

I agree with pps, you may need to help him settle and do some gradual withdrawal to help him learn to settle on his own without the comfort of the soother. Perhaps a trip out to get a new "lovey" for him to cuddle with - to help him feel brave!

Just do what works for you hun, it's a big adjustment for them.

[HaniaJa]

Hello!
Thanks for Your advice! Now, after a few days it looks a bit different - he doesn't cry, he  simply says that he doesn't want to sleep. he gets off the bed, but doesn't leave his room, it takes him about an hour to settle down by himself, it's a long, long time...He doesn't want anything that can replace his paci as he already has his lovey and he cannot imagine sleeping with anyone else...what wonders me is that he falls asleep much quicker during the day than in the evening...maybe i should drop his nap? (Now he is having it at bout 2pm for about 1.5hr-he wants to sleep longer but I usually wake him up)...How do You think?
H

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

What time is his bedtime? I have to say if he goes for a nap fine then he is probably ut at bedtime and needs the nap cut back.

[Katet]

I know that we waited too long, I know

I don't necessarily think you have left it too long, you've gone with what he needed & was working. It's a mindset that says there is an age that a Paci should be given up rather than a reason.

As you are experiencing his "comfort item" is gone, he's now in a place of learning a new way to relax & drift off. He may need a little more comforting, so say longer storytime or back rubbing etc, it's about working out what works.

I've just come home from a 12 day trip with students & a work colleague, with whom I shared a room... different noises etc to DH in the room & I had to work out a way to relax that was not having a cuddle with DH... so I counted backwards from 100 to stop my mind from ticking over, as that's what my 12yo does when he goes to camps etc & shares a room with other people & it worked for me too.

I agree with the PP if he goes down for his nap ok then possibly it is either too soon for bedtime or his nap is too long & that's why he struggles to fall asleep as quickly as in the past.

[HaniaJa]

BT at about 9-9:30pm, I know that's late, but we work late, so no other chance to spend at least some time with him...yesterday he felt asleep at about 10:30pm..., cause it took him about 1 hr to settle down, but he wasn't upset at all, he was talking to himself, singing, he even didn't leave his room for this time. i don't know what to think, I assume that it will gradually start taking him less and less time to go to sleep. Do You think I'm right?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How have the last couple of days been? And what time is he up in the am...if a later routine works interms of bed and nap that works - you may have to tweak it when he hits school age but if his overnight sleep is a good amount then it doesn't really matter when it happens.