what kind if quiet activity could we do if he doesn't go back down?
If it is supposed to be nap time then I suggest no activity, you stay in the bed room and continue to tell him it is sleep time, shush/pat or adapted rocking as needed, if he is screaming blue murder you might need to reduce the time you attempt to resettle down to say 30 mins, although many do 45 mins. At the end of that time you have two choices:
1. count the A time from the end of when they nap should have finished even though he has been awake for maybe half his nap time. This helps to establish the routine and habit, the additional level of tiredness helps him fall to sleep at the next nap. (once the habit is establish there is greater flexibility again on following cues and adapting to needs on a daily basis)
or
2. count the A time from when he actually woke up which avoids OT building up. This will mean some of the A time has been taken up trying to resettle and you might only have an hour left in which to change nappy, feed, a short play (songs, book, toy) and then it will be time for wind down for the next nap again.
is there a good time to go out for a walk as I do like him to get a daily dose of fresh air?
Whilst you are trying to sleep train and establish a routine I would suggest avoiding long walks with him in the pram after a short nap or after a period of disturbed sleep when you've been trying to get him back off to sleep as he is likely to nod off in the pram. My suggestion would be to go out during A time and if there is a garden or park you can do some floor time on a picnic blanket where he gets fresh air, tummy time, and a little activity such as looking at flowers or singing songs or holding a rattle, rather than walking with him in the pram. It is possible to get fresh air without being rocked in the pram but it might take a bit of creative thinking or planning on your part as you are used to it being a certain way.
If you plan for the first nap to be short then leaving the house directly after that nap might be a good time (I know you plan baby groups after that nap so this might not offer the fresh air but maybe you have a short while of baby groups some days and air others just for now).
Once the routine is established you will be able to go out after that long nap for the A time between naps 2 and 3 it's only that I wouldn't suggest it right now during the sleep training part unless you can just go and sit/play in your own garden perhaps and not walk in the pram or go in the car seat?
The mast few days he keeps waking at 4.50 pretty much on the dot, we just give him the dummy to resettle him, but I'm thinking we should to the same method as naps here to help him learn to self settke?
Personally I'd do things one at a time. Yes you can do it all but this is more tiring for you and the more tired you get the more temptation there may be to put him in the pram for a walk and sleep rather than facing yet another session of shush/pat in a dark room. Here are my thoughts on the options:
- If you continue with this approach (re-settle with the dummy) for the NW for now you have a somewhat predictable WU time from which to work out the first nap time and the day's routine so you have some predictability and can focus on independent sleep for naps. You know he is starting the day having had a good night sleep even if that is with a quick re-plug.
or
- If you choose to do it all in one go and drop the dummy re-plug at 4.50 to sleep train you set the morning WU time so that regardless of when he falls back to sleep you wake him at that time. This could in theory mean trying to resettle from 4.50 to 6am and then he sleeps for 1hr and you wake him at 7am. This route he may be starting the day already tired from having missed night sleep.
It's your choice. I want to mention the SIDS guidance on dropping the dummy again, so you are aware and consider all aspects for yourself.
