Really need words of encouragement!

[crazyyear]

Hi there,
So I'm 2 weeks into shush pat at bed time and nap time with my 5 month old. I pick up every no and again when she's crying so much she starts coughing.
Bed time is easier and she is almost sleeping 12 hours!
Naps on the other hand are a disaster! Takes about 20 minutes to settle her and after half out she wakes up screaming and I have never managed to settle her back to sleep with a lot of crying....a lot! I give up after 45 minutes coz I can't take anymore and she's exhausted but won't nod off. Usually end up taking her out in the buggy for a top up sleep.
She's doing 2 hour A time, haven't tried pushing it out any more but I believe the main problem is transitioning through sleep cycles so I'm trying to help her learn.
I need someone to tell me I'm not wasting my time and her tears, that this will pay off and she'll start getting good rests during the day.
I know the BW methods are gentle and I hate the thoughts of letting her cry but I'm starting to wonder would it be easier in the long run?
Please encourage me 

[michaeljacknnugg]

It is definitely definitely worth it. You want your kids to be able to come to you whenever they need something, right? Well, that starts now.

I'm writing this from the nursery floor as my boy has just self settled for the second time in two days. As someone once said to me, 'take the time it takes'. It's taken us six weeks more or less, just trying one nap a day and picking him up if he's upset, but this lays the foundation for all the other times he will need to try that bit harder to settle.

I think of sleep training as giving your baby the confidence to go to sleep by himself. He already knows how to go to sleep, he did that in the womb! If you meet his needs now and help him, he will need you a lot less in the long run.

[crazyyear]

Really appreciate your encouragement, it can be very lonely sitting on that nursery floor willing your baby to sleep....then after 30 mins more screams! I'm in total agreement with you that it's for the best but I have doubts when I'm watching her crying with her arms up for me to pick her up.
I'm also only working on one nap a day so I guess that would slow it down-I have school runs so unable to do any more.
Does your bab wake after a time?
Are you using shush pat too? It's more of a shush rub I'm doing....hope my technique is right eek!

[michaeljacknnugg]

If he cries, more than a grumble but a real cry, I pick him up.

I'm just patting him gently, with white noise on an app. We also have a consistent wind down and I am keeping an eye on his A times as they naturally extend.

Yep, we only get short naps at present. All in good time, I will be happy with self settling (in fact I'm thrilled with it!) for now.

[crazyyear]

I have a white noise machine but stopped using it as it was driving me mad at night-do you use it at night also?
What's your wind down and how long? I'm bringing her up about 10 minutes early, changing her nappy with music and light show playing but by the time I get to the story she's fussing already!
Self settling is the start, once they can do that I think they naturally start sleeping longer.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Yes, we play white noise for all sleep. Great for drowning out other stuff.

We do a very short wind down. Bag, noise on, give him his bunny comforter and read a short book. I chose it based on length and it's the same one each time. Then put him down and say 'have a lovely sleep, call me if you need me' and leave. Return to help if needed.

[crazyyear]

Tempted to go back to white noise but my family thought i was weird and made me think it was bad for her
We have similar wind downs.
I took her up and pushes her in the buggy for a second and she's gone again- do you take your little man up if he doesn't settle or use the buggy?

[michaeljacknnugg]

I hold him or feed him. He's definitely my last and I am determined to cherish him, even if it makes this all take longer.

He's still asleep so has gone over a sleep cycle! Can't believe it!!

[crazyyear]

Wow that's great,he's definitely getting the hang of it so,you must be delighted!

[michaeljacknnugg]

We both are .

How's that for a real-time success story, eh?

[crazyyear]

I can keep going, 6 weeks is doable and good to here it does work! How long did he sleep in the end?

[michaeljacknnugg]

I wasn't timing really, I think maybe an hour and a half.

It might be quicker, it might be slower for you. Different babies, yk? Keep things as calm as possible and be there when she needs you. I've found that he was ready to self settle quite by accident - I needed the loo one day so walked out when I put him down - so it would be worth giving her the chance to settle herself before you help.

Yesterday he cried even before I put him down, so I didn't. I just held him for that nap. It's funny that sometimes they need you so intensely and other times not at all.