What went wrong?

[BabyA0105]

Hello,

My DS is 3.5 months old and has suddenly developed a negative association with naps.  When he's very tired, he will easily nap with little help - I just swaddle and put him down and he rarely fusses before he's asleep in 5-10 min.  The problem is that this is usually after his WT is way too long and so he has a 30 min nap and can't resettle even with my help.  The past couple of days he has started to scream when I walk into his room to try to begin his routine after an age appropriate WT.  He is super mad and won't stop crying until he's at the point of exhaustion 😭.  What went wrong? He loves to play and be held and explore and hates/fights naps unless he's OT.  I never left him to CIO but have always had difficulties settling him for naps....now it's just terrible and as a result, I'm stuck with 4 30 min naps and an OT baby.  Please help!  I'm afraid he's beginning to hate his room/crib....

His schedule the past couple of days has looked like this. I know his WT is way too long but again, I can't get him to settle down when he should.  He's usually very very tired once he wakes up after his short nap so I have to deal with Mr. cranky for most of the day.   Note that I have always had difficulties with naps and only the past 2 weeks have gotten a 2 hour second nap.  The rest are usually 30-45 min.

W and F -  7am ish
S - 9am - 9:30am
F - 10am
S - 11:45am - 12:15pm
F - 1pm
S - 2:30 - 3pm
F - 4pm
S - 5-5:30pm
F - 6:45pm
S - 7:30pm
F - 2-3am no dream feed

[Lindsay27]

Yes I completely agree that his A times are too long so he is OT and short napping.  At 3.5 months I'd be aiming for A times in the 1.5-1.45hr range so what I normally do is start the wind down routine 10 minutes before I want LO to be asleep. I'd start by maybe trying to wind down at the 1.5hr mark (assuming it takes 10mins to get to sleep making his total A time 1.40hr).

Do you have a wind down routine? I just draw blinds, turn on white noise, swaddle, and rock my DD for a few minutes until drowsy before putting her down.

[BabyA0105]

Yes we have a wind down routine.... Usually sit in dim lights, read a book or two, swaddle, white noise, sing while holding him for a couple of minutes and then patting him until he settles down.  I'm feeling so discouraged.  Have been trying to get him on EASY for almost 2 months now with no success. This morning he completely missed his nap because he couldn't settle down - just did a mantra cry and closed and opened his eyes for 1.5 hours until it was time to eat again.  I am having such a hard time keeping this up.  Exhausted and feeling like I can't enjoy my baby because I'm so stressed about getting him on a routine all the time. It breaks my heart to see my OT baby during the day but he just won't settle down for naps.   At night he gets up 1-2 but can sleep for 12 hours without DF.  It's daytime napping that we're both struggling with 😞.... He hates naps and I have no idea what to do to get him on a routine.  I tried PU/PD once and it was terrible.  I think too stimulating for him.  He turns 4 months next week but did arrive a month early.  Any help or words of encouragement?

[Lindsay27]

I know it's really hard hun, my DS didn't take a long nap until he was 6 months and my DD is hit or miss.  I can tell you though that once the routine starts working you will never look back, but it can be an exhausting road getting there I know.

I think maybe he just needs a little more help settling and he sounds a little UT.  I would try to have your A times around 1.45hr and see what that does.  Have you ever done shh/pat?  What I've done with my DD is rock her and pat her bum until she's super drowsy and then put her in the crib and continue patting while they do the eyes open/close/open/close and the patting generally helps them nod off and then continue patting until in a deeper sleep.  We certainly aren't at the point where I can just plop her in the crib and expect her to fall asleep on her own and it sounds like your DS just needs that little bit of extra encouraging too. 

[deb]

For first A time, can you try not leaving his room in the first place and see if it made a difference? We were dealing with reflux at that age and DD hated being horizontal because it hurt her, but we didn't know that yet. Once we got a handle on it she still had the negative association of going to her room, so we broke the cycle by not leaving her room for the 1st A time in the first place. Got a good look at her sleepy cues too, then just played with her in dim light (so slight change in wind-down too) until she could barely keep her eyes open. Helped a LOT!

[BabyA0105]

Thank you so much for your replies! Naps have definitely improved the past few days and he settles down pretty easily now.  It seems like my LO just needs a bit more help winding down, so we just have to be proactive about taking him to his room after 1.20 and just sitting or reading until he yawns.  He can't seem to handle activity mat to sleep as he would rather play than sleep and gets overstimulated.  He sometimes needs help resettling after the first sleep cycle but generally a 1.5-2 hour A time is where he's at. NWs have deteriorated though - used to get 6-8 hour stretches but now he's getting up after 4 😞.   He still only gets up twice a night though so I guess I can't complain too much.   I'm hoping it's just a growth spurt!

[Lindsay27]

Our nights started going to pot at 3.5 months too and we are aren't back to what she used to be doing...sigh.