Author Topic: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy  (Read 568 times)

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Offline FrankiesMom12

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4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« on: April 25, 2016, 20:10:33 pm »
Hi all - my DD is 4.5 months and we're still struggling with EASY.  I also feel like I generally have to rock her to sleep for all of her naps (she still takes 4), and at night she falls asleep when I'm nursing her.  I am really struggling with how to break the dependency on rocking her to sleep for naps.  I'm frankly getting exhausted by how much I'm rocking/holding her and it's affecting the time I get to spend with my 3.5 year old.  She is also struggling with making it past the 45 minute mark for all of her naps.  So, it's especially frustrating to hold/rock her, put her down, and then deal with her waking up such a short time later.  I'm not sure if this is adding to the issues, but most mornings she has to nap in her car seat because I need to bring my 3.5 year old to preschool, run errands, do play dates, etc.

I'm just kind of exhausted and starting to feel a little frustrated.  I'm also struggling to determine her wake time.  It recently changed/shifted in the last week.  She had a 2-hour wake time (long, I know...but I'm pretty sure that's what it was), but it seems like she wants to go longer now before she falls asleep.  She still takes 4 naps a day, though as she only sleeps the 45 minutes.

What is going well is she generally is asleep at night in her bed by 7:00 pm (although she does fall asleep nursing).  The last couple of nights she's needed to nurse again at about 8:00 pm, but then sleeps until about 5:30 am.  Sadly, she's recently stopped falling asleep again after the 5:30 wakeup/nurse session, and I'm loathe to put her back down as she's recently started this horrendously loud screeching noise that I'm afraid will wakeup her brother.

I guess I'm just feeling discouraged and worn down the last few days.  It's felt like things are getting harder, not easier and I'm so exhausted at the end of the day it's crazy.  Wondering if anyone has any advice!?

Thanks!  -Jen

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2016, 00:22:01 am »
Hugs hun!! It is exhausting and those 45min naps are beyond frustrating!  One thing I thought of was that she might actually need a bump in A times.  My DD is the same age and she is doing about 2.10/2.15hr A times.  I think if you bump up a bit those naps might extend a bit.  I find between 4-6 months they really start increasing A times fairly quickly.

As for the rocking holding, my DD is one who likes to be rocked too.  What I do is rock her until she is really super drowsy and kind of pat her bum and then when I put her in her crib I continue to pat (usually on her thigh or somewhere) and she'll do the eyes open/close/open/close routine until she falls asleep.  So she's not being rocked to sleep entirely, but enough to calm her and get her really prepared for sleep.  I think over time we can reduce the rocking less and less.




Offline FrankiesMom12

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2016, 20:12:42 pm »
Thanks so much Lindsay!  I think you're right, and her A times needed to be longer.  It also doesn't help that mornings we're on the run she takes a lot of shorter cat naps in the car with a shorter A time, and it was making it difficult to figure out what her natural A time was.  The good news is she's in the middle of a nice, long nap right now.  She took a really decent nap in the afternoon yesterday and today, so that is good.  I do have an additional question.  What do you do about A time if the nap is really, really short?  (Like less than 30 minutes.)  Do you still do a longer 2.10 - 2.15 A, or do you reduce the A?  If so, about how much do you reduce it by?

Thanks again, the other day was rough and my 3.5 year-old was making it nearly impossible to try to put her down, so I just felt frustrated beyond belief.

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2016, 20:19:42 pm »
Fantastic!  I'm happy things are starting to turn around!  We still get plenty of short naps but I can usually count on 1 long one a day and even that is enough to make you feel sane :)

If a nap is short, yes reduce the A time - we do that as a way of hopefully preventing an accumulation of OT.  I usually reduce by 15/20mins, but just make sure to watch for sleepy cues too, sometimes that's the better indicator.  I've had to go down to 1.5hr A after a short nap before.



Offline FrankiesMom12

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2016, 21:08:57 pm »
Hi Lindsay - sort of a desperation post here.  Last night Catie fell asleep for bed kind of early, maybe around 6:30.  She nursed at 12:30 am, and then woke up at 4:30 am and WOULDN'T go back to sleep.  She barely napped today, just 2 30 minute naps and 2 45 minute naps.  She woke up from her last nap at about 4 or 4:15.  She's been crazy fussy today, wanted to be walked/rocked all day.  What time would you recommend trying to get her to go to bed?  I'm terrified to put her down too early and have another early wakeup.  But, I also know she's probably OT.  NORMALLY, if her last nap ended at 4:15, I'd aim to have her down around 6:45.  Thanks!!!  Just struggling today, and the wild swing in wake up we've been getting has got me a little diwn/frustrated.

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2016, 00:24:02 am »
Oh Hun sorry you've had a rough day! I know how hard it can be when they don't nap and get crazy OT in the evening.  If you ever need a break know that it is okay to AP the odd nap just to get some sleep into her.  We all try to be as consistent as possible but sometimes when the wheels fall off you just gotta do what you can to save your sanity!  I would try to aim for an early BT and hopefully she tacks on a bit of sleep.  Not sure where in the world you are but I'm thinking she's already down.

Have you noticed any changed in hunger? Just asking because there is a growth spurt at 4 months too and we've had to do 2 NF.  Just mentioning it in case the 4:30am waking could have been hunger related.

Have you ever tried to resettle any of her short naps?  I know you have another LO so that can be difficult, but if I can I try and more times than not I can get her back down and she'll do another sleep cycle.



Offline FrankiesMom12

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2016, 17:20:35 pm »
Hi Lindsay - thanks for the advice.  We had another super early wakeup one morning this week at 04:30.  I pretty much always feed her when she wakes up in the middle of the night, but this time I fed her at 04:30 and then again at 05:30 when she still hadn't fallen back asleep.  She ended up falling asleep at that point, and sleeping until 08:00, which is super late for her.  So, maybe she was still hungry the other morning.

Do you mind if I ask what your day looks like?  When wakeup is, naps occur, bedtime takes place, etc.?  I think she might be going through some developmental stuff, and that is contributing to the weird sleep.  She is also all over the place with eating, to the point where I'm afraid to be away from her because she won't take a bottle and I feel like I have no idea when she's going to want to eat again.

Also, can you tell me what AP stands for?  I can't figure it out!!!

Thanks!  -Jen

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2016, 21:28:45 pm »
AP means accident parenting...basically just do what you gotta do to get some sleep into them - rock, swing, carrier etc with the understanding that it is just a temporary measure to avoid some massive OT and get you through.

My DD can be like that with the bottle too, she only wants me to feed her ::)

Our day (assuming I can get her down after her 5:30am NW)...and there are no short naps might look something like this, it obviously changes if WU is later.  We sometimes end up with an EASAES pattern because my DD needs 4hrs between feeds to take a good one.

WU 6:30
E 6:30
A
S 8:50 - 10:20

E 10:30
A
S 11:50 - 1:20pm

A
E 2:30
A
S 3:40 - 4:15

A
E 6:30
S 6:45pm

I feed in the night too but I try not to more than once because then I find she slacks on her WU bottle.  Was she happy/playing at the 4:30am NW?



Offline FrankiesMom12

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2016, 13:01:45 pm »
Hi Lindsay - I'm sorry I didn't thank you earlier for the info above.  Things got crazy, Frankie got pneumonia again, etc., etc., etc.  Anyway, I wanted to touch base with you regarding what you do when your daughter wakes up in the mofn and you don't feed her?  I think Catie is ready for more of a 4-hour easy, bit she's waking up at around 1 am and then again around 4:30.  I tend to nurse her both times, but then she's really not hungry at all for her first feed of the day.  I think I mentioned this, but Frankie was hungry ALL THE TIME, so it still throws me that she might be waking up and not needin to eat.  I've also gotten into a bad habit of nursing her to sleep, so that isn't helping.  Over the last 4-5 days though, she has been pooping a CRAZY amount, another reason I suspect I'm trying to over feed her.  This is approximately what our current routine looks like (kind of a disaster, I know).  It's also possible both she and Frankie have a bit of a stomach bug as he had a major poo accident in his bedroom yesterday, which has never happened to him before.  I assumed it was because of the very strong antibiotics he's on from pneumonia, but who knows?

5/22
(Nursed early at 11 pm on 5/21)
4:50 - eat r
5:45 - fell asleep on own
7:30 - awake
9:15 - eat l / sleep
9:35 - awake
11:40 - eat r
12:10 - asleep
1:10 - awake / eat l / sleep
2:30 - awake
4:30 - eat r not well
5:15 - 5:30 - nap
6:35 - eat l - not well
6:55 - eat r
7:00 - asleep

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: 4.5 Month Old REALLY Struggling With Easy
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2016, 15:30:40 pm »
Hello!! My DD was doing the 1am & 5am wakings for a while too, and like you I am/was just feeding at both because it was the easiest thing to do, but I am also noticing that she's not really all that hungry in the night.  And similarly, she needs a good 4hr stretch between feeds, so if I feed her at 4am it needs to be at least 8am before she wants to eat again, which throws our EASY for a loop.  The thing to remember here is during transitional periods - so the 3-2 nap dropping, 4 month regression, dropping a night feed etc - things can go wonky so try not to stress too  much about it.  Often because of the feeds we end up with AEAS after WU.

So if she fed at 4am her day might look like:

WU 6:15
A
E 8am
A
S 9am

I do think you are ready for an A time bump and a 4-hr EASY.  I've just upped my DDs A times to 2.45hrs (but really anywhere between 2.5-2.45hrs...she is 5.5 months now) so I think you need at a minimum a 2hr A time and I would keep trying to increase by 10/15mins every 3-4 days.

What do you think?