Desperately overtired mum looking for some help!

[gemmavicki]

Hi everyone,

I'm really hoping someone can offer me a few tips as I'm really overtired and don't know what to try. I'm a first time mum to a 9 week old (although 5 weeks prem so 4 weeks adjusted age). LO has reflux but this is controlled quite well through medication. He has been on a 3hr EASY schedule (he's 10lbs 11oz so should be fine on 3 hour) since he was about 6 weeks old. The first couple of weeks were great and he took to it really well then over the last week things have changed drastically. He has always been fussy about going down for sleep - both naps and night time but I could get him to go off to sleep fairly well with swaddling, dummy/paci and a little rocking then down in bassinet drowsy but awake and he'd sleep for 1hr-1.5hours with no problem for naps and was down to only 2 NW after dream feed.

Then this last week, things have just gone completely wrong - he refuses to nap unless he is held and rocked constantly and the minute I put him down, his eyes spring open and he screams. On the odd occasion I can get him to sleep in his bassinet, he only sleeps for about 30 mins and then is awake again. I know he is OT, but I don't know how to break the cycle. I've tried putting him down earlier (so at the first yawn which is often only only 30 mins of awake time - I can't do any shorter as it cuts into eating time) but this doesn't seem to work. It is taking so long to get him to sleep that he often gets to the next E without napping at all. Nights have become worse as well as he is now waking every 1.5 - 2hours with the intervals getting shorter the closer to morning it gets. I am so stressed out and OT, I live abroad away from all my family, DH works long hours and most of my friends have moved on to other countries recently and I haven't been able to get out and meet anyone else as LO's routine is disrupted enough without going out and changing things up. I have no one to take over from me at all so end up getting really frustrated and OT myself, which doesn't help. Plus I am exclusively BF and in the last week, this has become incredibly painful which doesn't help things either.

Apologies for the long rant but I am just completely overwhelmed and really lacking in a local support network.

[FPT23]

Hang in there!!! Huuuuuuugs!!!!

I'm in the same boat! Mine just turned 10 weeks and he's also been refusing naps and fussing!!! Also skipping and going straight into the next E! My husband too works crazy awful hours and I'm at this alone about 85% of the time...and w/ a toddler!

Following your post!

But rest assured your not alone and hang in there! I've become super OT myself as this crazy cycle began for me at 9 weeks as well. These might be growth spurt weeks or wonder weeks? Maybe? But at least we know it's normal, right? :-/

Feel free to rant on! I know I do and there's wonderful moms here to help. This is a great supportive forum! You've came to the right place. Let it out

Much love and positive vibes your way!! This job isn't easy! Xoxo

[gemmavicki]

Thanks FPT23! It does help knowing it's not just me!

[jessmum46]

Hugs gemmavicki and welcome, congratulations on your LO.  These early days are very hard, totally exhausting sometimes, but I want you to know that however it feels right now you are doing a great job

Just a few things I'd suggest which may make your life easier.  First, with the reflux, has LO been weighed recently and meds adjusted accordingly?  Some of the meds are very dose-sensitive and with frequent weight gains in the early weeks they can need tweaking rather a lot.  Second, (although I'm sure you won't) don't be tempted to compare with what other 9 week olds are doing, your LO is developmentally 4 weeks so only just coming out of the very newborn period.  This is the time that many babies 'wake up' and can become much harder to settle and fussier.  I would suggest focussing on the order of EAS where you can but not worrying so much about getting him in the bassinet for sleep.  Neither of mine would do so reliably at this age and it was far easier to plan for sleeps in other ways eg a pram walk (good for you too!), sling (can't recommend these enough, especially for refluxing babies and ex-prems), swing (given he likes being rocked) or time a car journey appropriately. Sleep training for me was far more effective closer to the 3 month mark.  Third with feeding - I'm not sure where in the world you are but can you see a lactation consultant to check latch and for a tongue tie if things are painful?  Or your doctor if you think blocked ducts or mastitis could be an issue? 

For yourself, make sure you aren't putting too much pressure on if you're feeling tired.  What's important is that LO is fed and changed, and you have eaten and had something to drink.  Nothing else matters for now, don't worry if the house is a mess (mine always is - I blame the kids  ) or you haven't 'done' anything with the day.  Getting through it is achievement in itself right now

Hope that is some reassurance, and as FPT23 said please do keep posting, even if we can't help in person we can listen and offer hugs!