In dire need of support

[dearemmarae]

Hi everyone, my LO is now ten weeks old. When she was born, she would not sleep next to us in bassinet, and after many sleepless nights we decided to cosleep. We previously had planned not to, but are both comfortable now and take steps to ensure safety.
As of a few weeks ago, a Emma would sleep in her Moses during the day, near me, for varying lengths of time. Occasionally she would cry out and need help transitioning cycles, but would settle. If she was overtired or couldn't sleep in the Moses, I would wear her and she slept lovely, sometimes as long as 3-4 hrs. Around 7-9 weeks she became very fussy, I went through a bad patch, but felt better after reading about wonder weeks.
She is now back to a stage of being able to be consoled again (during the wonder week she would scream even in the wrap. Just generally sleeping poorly). I have been trying to get her to sleep in her crib, in her own room. I always follow EASY and begin wind down when she begins showing signs. However, once I get to the point of saying nighty night for nap time, she cries in my arms, until finally falling asleep. I did some reading about tension release crying, but don't know how I feel about this. When I transfer her back to crib, I can generally do the transfer without waking her, BUT she will be awake within 20-45 mins again and is impossible to get back to sleep without picking her up.
I have tried putting her to bed awake as well, but that hasn't worked.
After two fussy naps this morning, and a very exhausted looking baby and upset mom, we are napping in the sling again now. She never has a problem transitioning cycles while being worn.
I really need some help and support, like to seriously to be told what To do and how I should do it... I have tried so many things and am just feeling hopeless and depressed. I EBF and have lots of milk, but I can't help but feel if I fed her differently maybe her sleep habits would be better. I'm just feeling like nothing I do is working and feel so lost.
My other concern is, if I try to get her to nap during the day in her crib, does this mean I should fully stop cosleeping at night? Do not allow her to nap in sling ever again? I know she's too young for several methods, and I don't believe in CIO.
Please help me, any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

[becj86]

Hi, welcome to BW

First off, (((HUGS))) I'm really sorry that you're feeling so low.

You've got a few things in your post, so I'll try to address them, but please ask again if I miss something.

I have been trying to get her to sleep in her crib, in her own room. I always follow EASY and begin wind down when she begins showing signs. However, once I get to the point of saying nighty night for nap time, she cries in my arms, until finally falling asleep.

This could be all kinds of things. She may not yet be tired, she may be overtired, she may be uncomfortable lying down though you say she's slept reasonable naps in the Moses basket, so maybe not that. She could be overstimulated or having discomfort. Many others - hungry, sore, etc.
Can you post an EASY - just what your day looks like?

Have you read about mantra cries? Recognising a Baby's Cries
Your job as a mum isn't to make sure Emma never cries - its her only method of communication at the moment, so she'll cry for everything. Your job is to meet her needs by cuddling, loving, feeding, clothing, giving her the opportunity for sleep, keeping her clean and healthy.

I EBF and have lots of milk, but I can't help but feel if I fed her differently maybe her sleep habits would be better.

When you say lots of milk... Oversupply and Overactive (Forceful) Let-Down How often are you feeding? Are you offering both sides at each feeding? Are you able to tell whether she has drained the breast before moving to the other?

WRT naps and location of them, at this age, really if you're getting the night and one nap in the crib, you're doing well, your main priority should be setting up a routine that works for LO. What was it about the night that meant you starting co-sleeping? I just wonder if the unsettledness was related to BF (not saying to stop, just wanting to offer some help in that area, BTDT with terrible nights due to oversupply). Co-sleeping was not recommended by Tracy at any age, and SIDS prevention advice warns against it in general.

We don't believe in CIO here, we won't be suggesting that. I also can't really tell you what you must do - I can suggest things that I've seen work for me and other mums. Only you can decide what you feel comfortable with, so whilst we can give you suggestions, we can't make your decisions for you.