1 year old screaming at bedtime

[Sus007]

Up until now my lb has had a great routine and has slept well for 2x day naps and at night. Just before he turned 1 he started showing signs of separation anxiety and he starts screaming the minute we put him in the cot and try to leave the room mostly at night. I've tried shush pat, pick up/put down but he very quickly gets hysterical the minute I stop rubbing his back or move to set him down again. If I'm sitting in the room not making eye contact he just throws his dummy or toys to try to get my attention, then gets frustrated and cries. We're now having to hold and rock him until he's so tired he eventually falls asleep on us (this takes up to 4 hrs every night!) It feels like this has become the 'new routine' but I've no idea how to break it. We're at our wits end

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Can you post his routine? ie what the timings are for wake up/naps/bedtime. First thought is he may be at the start of the 2-1 and being ut is not helping with the sa.

[Sus007]

It could be this as he's started resisting his afternoon nap some days, but then is over tired at bedtime. Routine as follows:

7am wake & bottle
10-11.30/12 nap
2-4pm nap (some days not going down until 3pm or not at all)
7pm bed

Thanks

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Yup I think he is probably ut at bed...he may not be ready for one nap yet but may need his morning nap capped and the 2nd nap brought earlier to make sure he has enought time before bed to get tired!

How does he respond to changes in routine? Is a slower approach better for you guys or just jumping to a new routine?

[Sus007]

Thanks, I'm so glad there is an answer. He responds fairly well to changes so I'm keen to get started on a new routine over the weekend so I have some support from hubby

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Good idea! Keep in mind if the morning nap is pretty short (I would maybe go for 45 min at first) then the A time to the afternoon does not have to be super long to get a good second nap. Not sure where you are in the world, but it is spring here and we got a lot of.mileage at that age from being outside and playing as much as possible - made her way more tired!

[Sus007]

So if the morning nap is 45 mins how long should we allow for the afternoon nap and ideally what time should we aim for (based on morning nap being 10-10.45am)? I'm in Scotland so weather is pretty rubbish still although I will defo get him outside when it's dry.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Does he wake himself in the morning? If you are waking him I would hesitate to cap the 2nd nap as then he won't have any opportunity to tack on sleep if he needs it. Perhaps let him sleep as long as he wants for a few days to see what happens.

[Sus007]

I'm still off on maternity leave so he wakes himself in the morning (usually around 7am). The last couple of days we've let him sleep 1 hr in the morning (and woken him) and then put him down at 2pm for an afternoon nap. So far he's slept 1-1.5hrs in the afternoon and we've seen a massive improvement at bedtime - rather than 4 hrs of trying to settle him it's been about 15 mins! Can't thank you enough for your help x

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Yay that is the kind of update I love to hear! So happy things are going better xx