10 month-old 30 minute naps wreaking havoc!

[jessicaleigh4]

Hi all,

Our 10 month-old daughter has been a pretty good sleeper thus far, save for a few rough nights/days for various reasons. She sometimes sleeps through the night, sometimes wakes up to babble and play, but will go back to sleep without intervention. She self-soothes and only sleeps with a lovey and white noise.

The past week has been a bit rough on us. She has been taking random 30 minute naps, and it's causing more NW, and it's throwing her schedule off. About 3 weeks ago we were doing a 2-3-4 schedule that worked amazingly for her. But then she started struggling to fall asleep for her first nap, and I'd have to go in to do PU/PD, and the later she ended up falling asleep, the harder it was to fit in a second nap. I started trying to stretch her awake time to 2h 15m, and it seemed to work well for a few days, but then she went back to struggling. 2.5 hrs is either too long or too short now. We are all over the place--she has no predictable schedule. I wake her up at 7:30 (which seems to be her natural wake time, anyways) every morning to try and keep things consistent, but she's never ready for her first nap at the same time. She's been struggling to go to bed at night, and sometimes takes 45m-1hr to fall asleep. Here's what our "normal" was before the changes started:

7:30 wake & 8oz bottle
8:30 solids
9:30 nap (1.5-2 hrs)
11:30 wake & 6oz bottle
1:00 solids
2:30 nap (1.5-2 hrs)
4:00 wake & 6oz bottle
6:30 solids
7:30 bath & 8oz bottle
8:00 bedtime

Her days of 1.5-2 hr naps are long gone. I can get 1hr 15m max, which would be fine, except half the time they end up being 30-40 minutes. My husband and I have talked about transitioning to 1 nap a day, but it seems early, and with her crankiness even sometimes at 2.5 hours (and taking 30 minute naps some of those time) I really don't see that going well.

I feel like all these changes I'm making to see if something else will work is just throwing her off even more, so I'm hoping for some help in deciding where to go from here.

[ginger428]

Hi Jessica and welcome to BW!

While I don't think your daughter is quite ready for 1 nap a day, she may benefit from a long am/short pm nap that usually starts the process. I think her sleep needs may be changing at this age and her current A times may need more tweaking.

You know your DD best, but maybe something like this where A's are more like 3-3.5-4? Usually we advise adding 15-20 min increments, but since you've already done that, I would move toward 3+ A.  It may take 3-4 days to see the progress with NW and more consistent nap lengths.

7:30 WU
10:30 Nap (1.5-2 hrs)
3:30/4 Nap (30-45mins)
8:00 Bedtime

If bedtime struggles continue, I would try reducing the pm nap by 5-10 mins.

What do you think?

Here is more info on the 2-1 transition.
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

[jessicaleigh4]

Thank you very much Ginger! I've been hesitant to lengthen her A in the morning because of how cranky she's been getting, but honestly, I think you may be right. It's possible her body just has to get used to being awake a tad longer. I will try out your suggested schedule tomorrow. It looks as though it will work quite well for us! I've put her down a bit earlier this afternoon (2.5hr A), since she only took a 35 minute nap this AM, so we'll see how long she goes this time around. Crossing my fingers for at least an hour long so we can get through the evening with minimal frustration.

I appreciate your help greatly!

[jessicaleigh4]

Well, I just went in at 4:30 to wake her up from a 2 hour nap. She immediately started crying, so it broke my heart to wake her, especially after the lack of sleep she's had recently. But I know how it important it is to keep a consistent bedtime.

On the bright side, this was the longest nap she has taken in a week. I'm not sure what did it, but maybe the super short am nap caused her to be extra tired? Which may support the idea that she needs a longer A time.

We'll see how tomorrow goes!

[ginger428]

That's great! New night and day!

There is another strategy that she basically did today... short am/long pm but it seemed like her usual routine suited long am naps. We may need to tweak but fingers crossed for a great night!

[jessicaleigh4]

It's very possible we might have to do the short am/long pm nap strategy. She slept from 8:45-7:20 (10.5 hrs) last night. BT was a little late because of her longer pm nap that I didn't cap, because foolishly, I wanted her to sleep more since she has had such little of it recently. Now I know to wake her at 4:00 no matter what to keep BT at 8:00.

I stretched her A time this morning to 3 hrs. She fell asleep at 10:30 on the dot. Just a couple minutes after 11:00 she woke up crying.

I am going to try to put her down at 2:15 and see what happens. Hopefully she'll give me a good long nap. If so, this might be what we stick with. If not... I guess we'll see at that point!

[Scottishmummy]

The 30 min nap & crying is often OT, how did she do the rest of the day?

My DS kept his first nap around 9.30am from 12-18 mo but we just cut it shorter and shorter. That said, he woke for the day around 6-6.30am.
If you find she's really ready for sleep at 9.30 & not coping with a longer first A time, you could still keep that nap time but wake her at 10? Or compromise and go for a nap around 10 for 30 mins? Then continue with your 2/2.5-3-4 from there?

[ginger428]

I agree with scottishmum that 30min and waking crying is OT. Yes how did she do?

I'm hoping that in a Few days she'll regulate and hopefully give you a longer am nap that you can cap eventually. 10 mo is on the young side for transitioning but it has been known to happen.. Did with us.
I also agree with Scottishmum that if you see sleepy cues around 9:30, then try for a 10  nap, but perhaps stick with 10:15/10:30 for a couple more days before changing anything to giver her time to adjust.

Did you try resettling when she woke at 11?

[jessicaleigh4]

I tried putting her down for a 2:00 nap, since she was showing signs of being tired and I just didn't see her making it to 2:15-2:30. She fought me screaming until 2:45 when she laid down and cried/fussed herself to sleep. I have yet to witness her quite that upset about the idea of taking a nap. I'd imagine that you are both correct and it was from being OT, since I don't know what else could have made her fight that hard. She's been sleeping for a little over an hour, it's just turned 4:00 so I need to go in and wake her.

I gave her about 30 minutes this morning after her nap to resettle. She's very good at self-settling, but she started to lose her patience after 25-30 minutes, so I knew she was finished.

I might try sticking with the 10:15/10:30 am nap and just try to put her down a little earlier for the pm nap. If she wakes at 11, try 1:45 and increase/decrease accordingly? Not sure what else to do!

I will say, I didn't see any sleepy cues this am, though she fell asleep easily. I don't think I'll mess with the 10:30 am nap quite yet, since it seemed to be spot on.

Thank you both for your tremendous amount of help! I don't feel quite as stressed knowing I have people to bounce ideas off of. Much appreciated!

[ginger428]

Sometimes you don't know what to do until the moment arrives, ykwim?
I think you're doing fantastic with what you got. Poor thing is probably OT for various reasons, but I promise that she will get what she needs/compensate since you are providing her with every sleep opportunity. I need to remind myself of the same thing! Haha. Deep breaths! Hugs!

[jessicaleigh4]

Some good news today!  Here was her schedule:

7:00 WU
9:30 S (1.5 hrs!!)
11:00 A
2:45 S (1hr 15m-had to wake her!)
4:00 A
8:00 S (Presumably--she's still struggling to fall asleep, and it's 7:45)

She cried when I left the room tonight, but I'm starting to think that she is dealing with a bit of separation anxiety. She has a bit of a fit anytime I walk away from her, especially if I leave the room. She's been crying/fussing on and off for about 20 minutes, and I assume she will be asleep by 8-8:15.

The day went amazingly well. She didn't struggle for her naps, just "chatted" herself to sleep, which lasted 10-15 minutes. The only struggle has been tonight. I might think about capping the second nap by 5-10 minutes and see if that helps BT go more smoothly, unless there's another suggestion of something that might work better?

I think we're off to a good start on getting this sorted!

[ginger428]

Hooray! Shaving pm nap sounds good.

May I ask what made you put her down at 9:30? Glad it was successful!!

[jessicaleigh4]

She was showing very obvious sleepy cues (yawning, rubbing eyes, fussy) at about 9-9:15. I was hesitant, because I was trying to stretch her A to 3 hrs, but I could tell it would be a disaster if I waited much longer. Most days aren't quite that easy. She doesn't always show such obvious signs, so it's a guessing game. I'm not sure if I should just stick with the 2hr 30m A regardless of her signs, or stretch to 3 hrs if I don't see any.