I just want to spend time with my other kids, too...

[Anders45]

I have twin toddlers and a 10 day old little girl. I realize she should pretty much be eating and sleeping right now. But she won't sleep unless she is attached to me. She did really well the first day we had her home, but has regressed since (I blame the fact that I accidentally kept her in bed with me one night and ever since she won't let me put her down). I just want to be able to put her in her bed when it is time to sleep (cuddling for a little while is fine) so that I can have some one-on-one time with my twin toddlers (who love their sister, but the one does seem to resent it when I am holding her and insists on being held if I am not holding her). Is this even possible yet? Am I expecting too much and should I just buckle down and wear her everywhere while she is in this first month, or will I be able to get her to sleep on her own?

Some extra info: Her brothers only needed a little help falling asleep. They took to the sh/pat almost instantly. I can do sh/pat to get her to calm down and almost fall asleep, but as soon as I lay her in her bassinet she wiggles, scrunches her face up and then lets out a wail. It doesn't matter if she is almost asleep, looks asleep, or is deep asleep. Oh, and my nipples are super sore from her constant suckling (she won't take a binky to pacify either... not sure how to get her to pacify herself just yet).

Thanks in advance, even if you tell me to wait a couple weeks, at least then I won't be frustrating myself by doing the impossible.

[Katet]

I blame the fact that I accidentally kept her in bed with me one night and ever since she won't let me put her down

Honestly one night in a 10 day old  wouldn't be the reason.

Am I expecting too much and should I just buckle down and wear her everywhere while she is in this first month, or will I be able to get her to sleep on her own?

A lot will depend on so many factors but honestly I think the best comment was the other day - a Mum I know just had her 4th, her other 3 are aged 10-15yo, but she said "this one just has to go with the flow while I get my head around it all" 

I think pick a couple of times a day to work on sleep & then for the others if she will sleep in a sling then do it. I found with my 2nd that bedtime (which I did after DS1 went to bed) & the middle of the day nap (when DS1 napped) were the only times I worked at a good routine, the rest of the time I just did what ever I could, sling/arms stroller etc... it was the balance that worked for me & DS1 to do it that way & save my sanity too.

[FPT23]

Anders45,

Maaaany maaaany hugs! Honestly, minus the twins part... I was on the same. I have a now 11 week old and barely seeing a bit more of a turning point (not to discourage or stress in anyway)

I was in the same b/c I too have a 4 year old and all I felt was sadness and guilt b/c of the full time care a newborn needs. All I wanted/want is for that time w/ my oldest again
It's rough and everyone needs time to adjust, including the other twins but on the bright side, they do have each other and aren't "alone" in a sense, but I'm sure they miss mommy a bit too! All of this is so normal and it's super hard. I promise you one thing, all of it will pass sooooooo fast (even if it seems so slow right now) and you will forget these crazy first days. With due gone everyone will adjust, and you'll be back w/ that one on one time w/ your other babies too ...maybe arrange a few times a week to get care for the newborn and you game the twins out to eat or to get ice cream! ...after a feed you can go and come back!

The truth of the matter is, your new one needs all your love, attention and help. Imagine, she's been inside of you all this time being assisted to sleep! When you were out and active, you were rocking her to sleep. It's also loud in there! ...and she's super snuggle! Right now it's best to think of it as SURVIVAL MODE. Try not to worry much about it b/c in a few days or short weeks- it will change again ... Many growth spurts and wonder weeks!

My advice is to try and take time to know her. Later on, the sleep will come. You have your hands full! I think one night didn't affect her-- she probably just wants your comfort. To smell you, to hear your heart beat, and feel your warmth. Your all she knows. You can't spoil her so young. Right now, newborns can't sleep...that means we don't. I know shh pat worked for your twins but all babies are different. Try a head rub perhaps? Or caress her back gently?

Best tips to help her sleep is, swaddle, and white noise! Not all babies take the paci but if you really would like to, maybe consider trying different pacifiers and see which she may take to? The soreness will subside and if it gets worse, (cracked bleeding super painful nipples) consider visiting a lactation consultant as latch might not be right. If all she wants is to suck, it's so normal. She might be learning how to eat too still and at this age they take AWHILE to eaaaat! They are getting the hang of it! All day they are attached to the breast !! Keep in mind they use our breasts as comfort as well hang in there as the breast feeding will be smoother as time passes. Try and stick to the Eat Play/Activity Sleep as it can help getting to know what baby needs next- even though right now the activity part will be sleep, or she may constantly sleep on the breast but it passes. Stick with the routine of this and it makes things a bit easier too! Use a swing if need be to help her get some long sleep. Right now just try to get her to sleep in any way so you can too. Later, you can work on weaning.

Hugs!!!!!! It will pass <3 feel free to join on for any help you need xoxo

[weaver]

You have an awful lot on your plate, ((hugs)), sit down, take a deep breath.  This is the really hard part, those newborn days with toddlers in the background. Honestly, you will doing so very well if everyone is fed and dressed every day.  An important thing to do is to lower your expectations. This includes your expectations of yourself. 

Ten day old babies generally aren't happy sleeping in cribs on their own, I wouldn't expect it.     So, yes, wear her everywhere.  if you want to, you can try starting naps in the bassinet, maybe transferring when she's nodded off on you or something, and then scoop her into the sling when she wakes up, because she will wake up   Things will change a lot around 6 weeks, and again around 3 mos.  And by the time she's 6 mos this will all be a distant memory. None of this is forever.

As Kate says above, 'going with the flow' is what you need to do now.  The emotional needs of your toddlers need to be a priority, so get baby and yourself mobile.

AND look after yourself.  Look for what's gone right, don't blame yourself for what isn't done or was impossible.  Make sure you sit down when you can and eat well, drink lots of water.  You've got a tough job right now, but you can do it!