Napping issues since 4 weeks now 15 weeks!!!

[Gappyranks]

Hi.

I have hit rock bottom with the napping situation with the little one.
He is 15 weeks and this has been going on since he was 4 weeks old.
He refuses to nap, we try to read his cues asap usually around an hour after being awake but getting him to let go can take hours. He gets very stressed and upset around nap times and fights them to the point where he is just a fussy crying baby all day.
The thing that makes him nap is the sling.  But only while I pace around without stopping and patting him constantly- I'm exhausted and can't do anything for myself. He freaks out in the pushchair and won't sleep on the shoulder or chest or my arms which saddens me. When he gets overtired because he's not letting go nothing can calm him- his arms and legs shake with anger.
He is bf exclusively and will sleep on my right boob only! But as soon as I un latch  him as he is using it as a pacifier he wakes up.
He doesn't take a pacifier either.
Once he gets his sleep he's great! We've also realised he's great at night and can sleep a good 5 hour stretch and go down again till the napping nightmare starts from 7am till bed which is 7pm. Iv taken advice of ppl who said maybe he doesn't need much sleep in the day- but he does! He's exhausted and when I pace with him he cam sleep for 2 hours on me. Just lost and exhausted mentally. Please help!

[FPT23]

Hi and welcome to the forums!

First of all, many many hugs! It's definetly not an easy task when they are so little. I currently have a 12 week old myself (and 4yo) and I was eager for advice and help when my new LO came along. You've came to the right place and hopefully other moms and myself included can help ease your days up a bit. Sending nothing but love and positive vibes, as I myself know how overwhelming it can be!

Would you mind posting what your day is like, more or less. For example:

7am wake and eat
7:30-8:00 activity
8:30-10:00am nap

10:00am eat ...... Etc.

I'm sure it is far from predictable and routined atm, but whatever you can. Seeing your day can help me (or other awesome moms on here) see possible ways to help with some advice

Everything will work out and feel free to come on here and vent away or ask questions! I have! that's why this community is here. Let's see what we can do for you xoxo

[Gappyranks]

Hiya,

Thank you for your reply- means a lot.

Our days still vary but the below will give you an idea.

7 am awake and feed
8 am nap- sling falls asleep
8.45 awake and feed
10.15 nap sling
12.15 awake and feed
1.45 nap gets more difficult from the afternoon
3.15 awake and feed
4.45 nap very difficult to nap
5.30 awake and feed
6.30 bath story prep for night
7.00 feed
7.30 8 sleep nursed and rocked to sleep
12 am wakes feed
5 am feed
7 am awake

Notes on the above. He never gives hunger cues or cries for a feed I just offer it to him if he fussed.  Also sling involves me pacing and patting him continously.

We are now trying the pupd method and are on day 2. It's soooo tough! As I can no longer do the sling as it's too much.

Your help and support will mean the world.

[Scottishmummy]

Hi & welcome to BW.

Just popping in to ask if you've had a look at these links on the FAQ board:

15 wks is a little young for PUPD, have you tried sh-pat first?  This might be helpful:

At what age is PU/PD appropriate?

Also your first A time looks short for his age, most babies by 15wks are doing at least 1hr20-30, some getting closer to 2hrs before a nap...that might be why it's tricky to get the nap and and only getting a short one:

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

He might be looking tired from habit or boredom, could you try keeping him up a bit longer before the nap..I'd suggest gradually increasing time before first nap by 10-15 mins every couple of days until he's falling asleep more easily.

Could you describe how you're winding down for nap and introducing cot sleep to see if we can help with that routine too?

[Gappyranks]

Hi,

thanks for the reply!

the shh and pat method doesnt work on him unfortunately so we are trying the pupd method.

in the morning he gets tired after but will try keeping him up a bit longer before the first nap.

Wind down for nap consist of taking him to the bedroom, closing the curtains, swaddling him and then walking around with him in the bedroom to make him relax and telling him its time for a nap.

im really confused on what else I can do. its so tough.

[Gappyranks]

also I should add, in the pupd method I am shhhing and patting him before I put him down in a relaxed drowsy state. So I am trying to do it in our way- not sure if this is correct.

[FPT23]

Hello! Yes the first A time is a little short. I have a 12 week old on 1;15/1.5 A time... All are different and A times can vary but try adding a few mins consistently for the next few days to that morning nap. See if it helps any, as scottishmummy suggested!

Keep in mind, A time is eyes open, to eyes closed. If you are shooting for maybe a 1:15 A time instead of 1hr... Head to his room 15-20 mins prior. That sounds like a great wind down. Mine is about the same! Your on the right track. Remember, it takes weeks to teach baby new methods. Just stay consistent and hopefully you'll see some changes soon! Hang in there! I know I am HUGS!

As far as the shh/pat method.. It can be adjusted to your LOs needs. that's what BW is all about. Getting to know baby and be in tune with his/her needs. Shh pat was too stimulating for my LO as well.... Patting wasn't for him and shhing got me too tired (personally) ...so I use a white noise app on my phone, (similar to shhhhh noises) and I patted his bottom instead while holding him in a cradle position. Also, caressing his head works well too!

I would consider trying another method aside PUPD as it can be too OS for him and also, it is best used as last resort/older babies once routine looks good and has been adjusted, yk?

It's very tough, for sure. But you will get through this!

He is BF correct?  You mentioned you feed anytime he gets fussy, however keep in mind that fussiness isn't just a sign of hunger. It could be a number of things. You mentioned he doesn't have hunger cues? Following a good Eat Activity Sleep routine can help you figure out what's next. Could it be possible he is just a "snacker" and isn't getting full meals at a time? Something to consider?

How are his moods through the day? Is he constantly fussy? How about tummy troubles? Reflux?

Hugs!!!

[Scottishmummy]

Agree with all of the above. I used to just hold mine in the cot until they were asleep as even patting was too stimulating!  At first you sh-pat (or your adapted version) until LO is asleep as cot is such a big change from being cuddled and rocked in the sling. You can then gradually reduce how much help you give to get to sleep.

Re A times- he seems to be doing 1hr 30 later in the day. Do you think you could gradually push first nap to closer to 8.30? Maybe push it later by 10 mins every 2-3 days with low key activities or a longer wind down for those extra minutes?

I always found naps got harder to get in the cot later in the day. Maybe start with aiming for just 1 or 2 in the cot to start with & give yourself a break later in the day.

My DS was a nap avoider, it was very very hard, he also used to scream at naptime.  Do you know your baby's temperament (touchy,mspirited, textbook etc?)

Good luck and let us know how you get on xxx

[Gappyranks]

Hi,

Thanks for the support. Tried to keep him up for longer this morning however he only slept 30 mins.

He does cluster feed but every 3 hours and he doesn't fuss for a feed! Should I maybe wait 4 hours so he can feed fuller and maybe sleep better?

[FPT23]

Gappyranks,

sorry about the short naps! Did you extend ONLY the morning one by a few mins? Or did you extend all his A times? Work with his first A time only. It will eventually push the rest of the day out as he adjusts! Remember, this is something you have to consistently push for at least 3 days. It's only been one day I believe, so just keep trying if 15 minutes was too much, consider pushing in 5 min increments. It can make a world of difference in some LOs

Your LO is 15 weeks and is almost 4 months, correct? (16 weeks) ....by 4 months their A times should be closer to 1:45/2hrs as they begin to transition to 4 hour feeds. However, I BF myself and he can only do max of a 3hr feed at almost 3 months... i suggest  you continue to feed on demand. Do not push him or withhold feeds. At 3 months and 4 months there is some growth spurts. Continue to feed on demand especially being EBF. As his A times and naps gradually increase so will his feeds if you continue to follow EASY routine, then you will know when he's hungriest! It helps!

I would consider pushing those A times closer to 1:30/1:45 since he is almost 4 months. Remember, eyes open to eyes closed. Also, keep in mind, there is a regression at 4 months and thinks get a little crazy so don't expect too much to happen too soon. They change so much! Hang in there !

[Gappyranks]

Hi,

I feel so confused! Feel awful not even sure when he wants a feed. Just kept him up for 1.5 hours and he slept for 35 mins only. Really don't know what to do!?

[FPT23]

Hi! Many hugs!

Feed on demand. When did you keep him up for 1.5 hours? That generally is an OT nap but when did you try to keep him up? I need to know how the day was to try and help you.

Keep in mind this is a time of many changes for your LO. Hugs!

[Scottishmummy]

Sorry it's so hard.

Could you gradually increase his first A time e.g. 10-15 mins every 2-3 days. The big leap might be too much for him.

How's settling in the cot going?

[Gappyranks]

Hi.

Update. Realising he needs a nap every 1 hour 15 mins, max he can stay up is 1.5 apart from 2 hours before bed. He has started settling in his cot however the max length of nap has been 50 mins, probably why he is tired so often. He still finds it tough to self soothe when he wakes in the day and can't go back to sleep..

He is definitely going through a growth spurt as he is wanting feeding more often.  Damn these growth spurts! If only there was a way to extend his naps to 1.5 to 2 hours as he would be able to have more awake time. As getting him to nap is tiring on myself! X

[FPT23]

Hi there!

Just to chime in with your last statement...!

By now I assume he's older than 15 weeks? His A time should be around 2hrs by now, actually! Those naps might be UT if his A time is only 1 hr 15 mins. Yk? Is he nearing 5 months already?

I would def consider increasing those A times.

Starting with the first one of the day is usually easiest. Try increasing by 15 mins every 3/4 days. Consistently. Stick with it. If it seems to be too much for LO (as it can be for some) consider increasing by 5 min increments instead give bay a go for the next few days. See how it works for you

Also the 4 month regression changes things around a bit but hopefully things will settle for you soon! There is a GS at the 4 mth mark! Hang in there! I think they start dropping from here on out ...well, I mean, not so back to back as he first 4 months

Xo