Author Topic: Pls HELP, NO sleep at all!  (Read 1471 times)

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Offline Isil

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Pls HELP, NO sleep at all!
« on: May 12, 2016, 09:39:31 am »
My girl is 14 weeks old but she was one week late so we consider her 15 weeks as she is also quite heavy acc to her age. I am also aware that she is having her growth support leaps quite earlier than expected due to this fact. Also she is definitely a spirited one!
We started easy when she was 9 weeks old, we followed 3 hours schedule as per the book and all rules about shh-pat. Then I realized she hates being hold like that and she is better sleeping on her back, so I made some slide changes. At first it was taking 1-1,5 hours to put her sleep, than I realized our pre-sleep routine was a bit short so I added walking like 5-10 minutes by holding her. I also cool down her activities as she might be OT. And it was better but never less than 20 minutes. After 2 weeks, we spend most of our time with shh-pat but she was sleeping most of her day sleeps and night was quite ok with DF at 11 pm and NF at around 2.30 - 3.30 am. We wanted to get rid of the last cat nap between 19.30 and 20.00 by feeding her right after bath. If she does not feed, than she still wakes half an hour later for a last feed before sleep.
While we were expecting things to get better and do less sh-pat; everything went worse since two weeks. First she started to wake up at 45 minutes, than this changed to 20 minutes to 1 hour. I started to stay next to her all the time and keep her asleep as I did not know when she will wake up. She is opening her eyes suddenly and then never goes back to sleep. So I started to hold her, walk around the room (walking fast if she is cranky) sh-pat and put her back when she sleeps again. I had to do this 3-5 Times until she was back to sleep. And her night sleep was still quite ok even I have to sh-pat her after 5 am to 6.30 -7 am. Since 4-5 days everything went worse and worse.. After waking Up at 45 minutes, she refuses to go back to sleep and I have to hold her, sh-pat and try to put her back several Times until her waking hour. And night sleeps are crazy, we have to sh-pat her all night long and also we spend 1.5 -2 hours to put her to sleep after bath. This is such a long time that I feed her if she asks for it.. During pre-sleep walking if I hold her like going to bed she starts screaming so, I have to change the holding position and started to use white noise to cool her down.
I have to say she was a great BF baby before we started easy but now she does not feed well and I have to give my milk in bottle sometimes. When she does not sleep well, she does not feed; when she sleeps well, she feeds better.
Another point that she has a problem on her kidney since my pregnancy, so we are going to doctor quite often. Last week, we went 3 Times and she had a painful operation at one of them. She is going to have serious surgery in couple of months so it is very important for her to gain well also sleep well; that is why I gave up everything and spend all my time in her room. Of course I can not do it by  my self so my Mother, father and husband helps me; yet we are all exhausted!
We also visit my father-in-law 1 day in every 3 weeks as he is ill and misses his granddaughter and it takes 2 hours to go and 3 hours to come back. So we try to fit all these travels into our daily schedule by driving when it is bed time; I am not quite sure if these are effecting us as well
I read the book again and again to understand where I am making the mistake but could not figure out, the only thing  I can think of maybe it is time to move to 3.5 hours but I am not quite sure as she gets sleepy after 1 hour and she is in bed latest at 1.20 most of the time by crying from tiredness.

Below is the routine we are trying to keep and also the reality in brackets

E: 7.00 (wakes mostly around 5 am and we shh pat her until she really wakes up around 6.30 – 7 am). It takes only 10 minutes max for eating, as I guess she is not hungry a lot as she eats quite well during NF
S: 8.15  (we are not able to keep 1.15 awake time, most of the it is shorter for the first activity)
E: 10.00 (she sleeps 20 to 50 minutes, than sh-pat, hold / walk/sh-pat until waking hour) I takes 10-15 minutes to eat most of the time, if she does not; I give her bottle.
S: 11.15 (awake time changes from 1 hour to 1.30 according to how long it takes to put her into sleep)
E: 13.00 (same as above)
S: 14.15 (same as above)
E: 16:00 (same as above)
S: 17.15 we take her out to walk 45 minutes in her stroller so she can take a full nap
E: 18:00 does not eat much I think because she is not hungry yet
18.30: bath
18.45 – 19.00: try to feed her again but she does not take most of the time. If she does not take, she wakes half an hour later if we can put her to sleep. If she does not sleep yet, I feel she is hungry and feed her around 20.00 – 20.30
DF: 23.00
NF: somewhere between 2.30 – 3.30 and takes around 1 – 1.5 hour to put her back to sleep (but lately she wakes several times during the night, we sh-pat her until NF time and than keep sh-pat until 7 am.

Pls help me to figure out what I am doing wrong? And why we are going worse every day?

Offline becj86

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Re: Pls HELP, NO sleep at all!
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2016, 10:34:06 am »
Hi, welcome to BW :)

First off, its really important that you're checking with your doctor regarding any accommodations you need to make in your routine in relation to your DD's condition.

maybe it is time to move to 3.5 hours but I am not quite sure as she gets sleepy after 1 hour and she is in bed latest at 1.20 most of the time by crying from tiredness.
I think you've hit the nail on the head there - she needs more A time so she is tired enough for longer naps. Initially, she may be overtired for naps and you may need to resettle 30min OT wakings from naps for a few days but I think on the whole, once you've got your A time increased to a reasonable level, she will probably sleep long naps again and nights will improve.

How do you know she's crying from OT at nap time? Spirited babies will also cry at nap time if they're not tired enough!  The length of time its taking for baby to fall asleep suggests to me that she is undertired and then becoming overtired.

We also visit my father-in-law 1 day in every 3 weeks as he is ill and misses his granddaughter and it takes 2 hours to go and 3 hours to come back. So we try to fit all these travels into our daily schedule by driving when it is bed time; I am not quite sure if these are effecting us as well
This will certainly have an effect on your routine.

I would suggest a routine a bit like this (stick to it for 3-4 days and just note what happens):
7 - WU, eat
8:45 - nap (be ready to resettle if she wakes after 30min, don't just go to her once she's upset - it'll be harder to resettle then)
10:15 - WU, eat
12 - nap
1:30 - WU, eat
3:15 - nap
4:45 - WU, eat
6:30 - catnap (wake after 45min)
7:15 - WU, eat, bath
8 - asleep in bed for the night
11 - DF
« Last Edit: May 13, 2016, 00:19:18 am by becj86 »

Offline Isil

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Re: Pls HELP, NO sleep at all!
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2016, 12:03:52 pm »
Thanks a lot for the quick reply :)

I thought she is crying of tiredness because she starts with yawning and become cranky; I did not think she is crying because of UT. thanks for the tip. I will try to extend her A time and see what will happen

By the way, do you suggest to remove NF at all? and what about the cluster feed after bath?

PS: doctor says, going to 3,5 is ok for her

Offline becj86

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Re: Pls HELP, NO sleep at all!
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2016, 00:21:22 am »
I would cluster after CN though you could do that after the bath if you prefer. Either is fine.

DF + one NF is normal and good for this age - some people still have more feeds at night at this age.